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The Heart of a Mother and the Howl of a Woman

My children Jino(back)Jessika, Jiego(front), Jennika(my right) and Jayne(my left)December 2007

On October 15 a Filipino woman named Maria Theresa Carlson would have been 43 years old. Nine years ago on her 34th birthday she gave birth to her sixth child and 39 days after she plunged to her death from the 23rd floor of her apartment building. This ended her life of abuse, torture, humiliation, battery and emotional distress from a man whom she trusted, loved and was married to since she was 19 years old. Three years after her death, on March 8, 2004 on International Women’s Day, President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo signed the Anti-Violence against Women and Children Act or RA 9262. This law could have saved Maria Theresa Carlson’s life.
She married a politician at a very young age, left a promising career and chose to be a mother and housewife. Six years before her death, she was already seeking for help. She would pass notes to women leaders, call women organizations, she would leave her husband, seek protection but it will always end up with her going back to her abuser’s arms and denying everything, including her cry and clamor for freedom. She did recognize her rights, but she succumbed to just taking her own life instead of fighting for it.
I have not heard or read anything about her abuser to this day. I guess he was never brought to court and made responsible. Maria Theresa Carlson still remains a victim for me. How many women are being tortured right now? How many are plunging to their deaths because they find no hope and no way to get out of such torment. How many women or children would choose not to say anything and hope that the violence and abuse will just go away?
I think about my children. I think about their protection and their rights. I tell my sons that no man should hit a woman. No man should ever abuse his partner or his wife. And for my daughters, they must never tolerate any form of abuse. My children must live a life without fear and with great resilience. When I left eleven years ago, my children were too young to understand that it took me 8 years to gather strength and leave an abusive relationship. I left for their sake.
If I stayed, I would be broken into a million pieces and my dignity shattered (and the abuse will still go on). My children will still lose their mother even if I am physically with them. I would just submit into deep depression and lose my mind. So I left and never looked back except for the one promise I gave all my five kids that we will all be together soon.
My twin daughters are with me now; it took me ten years to get them. We are struggling to know each other. I would still need to petition my three other children. My daughter Jayne, she is still in Manila without her sisters and me and it is killing me everyday. My sons Jino and Jiego are growing up to be young men with the hope that they will be respectful and recognize the rights of women.
World Pulse gave me the courage to speak. A month ago I thought this was just a passive community of women. I was wrong. I feel that I can now howl and say the things that I wanted to be heard of. Wolves howl for so many reasons, one of which is to let others join the pack. I am so blessed to have known all these wonderful women. (I wish I have heard the howling so many years ago). I see no color, race, age or status I only feel that you are all my soul sisters and that I have so much will to fight for my children. I have HOPE. The beat of World Pulse lives within me and I am asking my children and my friends to be one in that beat. Today, I am a part of a great and powerful journey and I encourage more to join and write, speak, act, sing and dance towards a dignified humanity.

Maria Theresa Carlson (1967-2001)


noreens's picture

Everly,This is definitely


This is definitely written from your heart! So nicely worded. I worked in a battered women's shelter, and the women and children broke my heart. I have not experienced such pain but still, it is a subject which is close to my heart. I'm so glad that you had the strength to leave your husband. I'm sure it took so much courage. I hope so much that you will soon have your other 3 kids with you. It's got to be so hard being far from them - especially in another country. A mother's love is probably the strongest love there is. Don't ever give up the fight for them - they are worth it.

How is your father?


everlyrose's picture

thank you so much Noreen

I am just working on something this week and by the weekend i will get to go online much longer.
i will be able to read all your posts and that of all our sisters.
I will never stop fighting for my children, thank you too for fighting with me. I feel so much stronger.
take care


Solvitur ambulando
(it is solved by walking)

aarsenal's picture

Abuse begets abuse

Hi, Everly,

This bit of news (see link below) might interest you, since you mentioned Maria's husband, Cong. Rodolfo Fariñas. Their son and a fashion model, Ryan, was in the news lately. He was reported to have hit a fellow model in the head--a woman, who was trying to break up a fight between him and another guy. You're right--and quite brave--in teaching your children, especially your sons, to be respectful to women and NEVER to resort to physical abuse. Otherwise, abuse may go on like a vicious cycle within the family. Stay strong, sis. As they say, this, too, shall pass.


Director Rico Gutierrez upset that girlfriend and model Michelle Paloma got hurt trying to stop argument between Ryan Fariñas and another model:

Life is how you Design it.

Six kids kapatid ang iniwan ni Theresa Carlson, and true na true my dear, abuse begets abuse
iyon ang talagang iniwasan ko sa household ko before, i told myself if my children can see this kind of abuse being done to me then they will grow up either abusing others, or accept being abused or both
and that will kill me forever
kaya I left that very chaotic house,
and started here on my own, and hopefully I will be able to get my 3 other kids.
Thank you talaga sa supporta
take care


Solvitur ambulando
(it is solved by walking)

tallybery's picture

Dear, I am here as part of

Dear, I am here as part of the listener group to congratulate you on this last assignment. You´d shown us a very strong story, thank you very much for sharing. However the assignment has a limit of 700 characters and yours have much more than that. To avoid that, it is important to maintain objectiveness. I missed to get to know your vision for the future and how becoming a correspondant could colaborate on that. This was the main objective of this last assignment. I am glad to know that world pulse is making such positive impact on your life, and I wish it keeps on being an expression tool for you to speak up. I wish you all the best and good luck with everything :-)

everlyrose's picture

thank you so much

Constructive commentary is helpful. I apologize for not meeting up to your expectation and standard. I wish you well and God bless you.

Take care,


Solvitur ambulando
(it is solved by walking)

rmweaver's picture

Thank you so much for sharing

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I especially loved your comments on wolves howling. You said, "Wolves howl for so many reasons, one of which is to let others join the pack." This is such a perfect illustration of the power of World Pulse.

You have a compelling story and so much hope for the future! I hope to hear more good news for you in the future!

All the best,

everlyrose's picture

Women who run with the wolves

One of my favorite book is by Clarissa Pinkola Estes' "Women who run with the wolves",

after reading that book, I had the photo of the front cover tattooed on my back and I finally left an abusive relationship. It is a mystery to me what one book can do to change my life. At that time, I had no support group, just a few friends who are willing to listen but could not do much ( they were all great though), today, i would really like to mobilize a group that will help abused women and children

Sometimes all we need to do is Howl and retrieve the lost courage we always have. Take care and God bless


Solvitur ambulando
(it is solved by walking)

vivian's picture

am happy you are finding your

am happy you are finding your strength and courage on world pulse and your concern for others. am also happy with you that you succeeded to get your twin daughters with you. your hope for the future, for your children is something to reckon with.


''Every woman have a story at every stage of Life''

everlyrose's picture

Thank you so much

My daughters jennika and jessika are wonderful young women, they are slowly getting used to being with me in their lives, next year on march 29 2011 will be our 2nd year of being together since i left them, i have to give them time, patience is a very good virtue

miss you much viv


Solvitur ambulando
(it is solved by walking)

Adelma A.Linatoc's picture

" Empowered "

Dear Everlyrose,

As I said before,I can feel what you've felt because I can symphatize on your situation now. Yes,until now,I think the Ma.Theresa Carlsons' case still don't have justice.

Don't you worry,time will come that your other children for sure will understand why you need to leave them before.Rest assured that they will soon accept the reality because a lot of cases like yours/us were been discuss openly now here in media,newspapers,etc.They will know how to analize issues and cases..

MLS's picture

Thank you for remembering

Thank you for remembering Maria.
God bless you and stay strong!

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