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Discussion--What's keeping you from loving yourself?

What is keeping you from loving yourself? What do you see when you look in the mirror? How does that differ from what others see when they look at you? We could all be looking at the same thing, and each person might have a different viewpoint. What's more important to others think of you, or how you think of yourself?


i like the thought of this. i wish i had a clear cut answer. a large portion of my feelings stems from the simple fact that i don't feel deserving. i don't feel like i'm anything special. i wish i had a mental timeline where i could pinpoint the exact moment that i first thought such a thing...but i'm sure we are going back into my early childhood.

an interesting thing about all of this (to me, anyways) is the fact that in my line of work and previous lines of work (the beauty/skin care industry) i am often confronted by women who are quite vocal about their disdain for their bodies, faces, hair, etc. i have always been very understanding, but also very firm in my assertions that they are anything but what they think they are. these are beautiful women, inside and out, feeling ugly and thinking themselves undeserving. sound familiar? it does to me! i'm also always the "mom" of the group. no matter where i have worked, that has been the case (an irony considering i never want children of my own). i genuinely love the people i work with and i want to be there for them and give these friends every comfort and all the love they so richly deserve...but i find it hard to accept it myself.

i am intelligent, i am attractive, i am kind and compassionate. i understand things on a deeper level than many do. i have been told this by so many people, but i refuse to accept it myself...and i do not know why really.


"It's the choice of a lifetime - I'm almost sure
I will not live my life in between anymore
If I can't be certain of all that's in store
This far it feels so right
I will hold it up - hold it up to the light,
Hold it up to the light, hold it up to th

Kristin Conroy's picture

Awareness is the first step

Thank you for your candid response Wildflower. Sometimes it's impossible to pinpoint when one's positive self-esteem as a child doesn't happen overnight! But at least you are aware of it, that's the first step to regaining it. One thing that has worked for me are positive affirmations. Every day, I repeat throughout the day phrases describing the woman I want to be, even if I'm no where near there yet. At first, it seemed a little silly because I didn't believe it, but after a while I believed it a little bit, then a little bit more. The affirmations also helped guide me during my day to choose actions that supported that positive image of myself. Below is a link to a more detailed description of affirmations and how they can support a healthy, positive image of ourselves. Best of luck to you in your journey!

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