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When there is a will there is a way!

Who I am makes a difference? I received it from my friend.
I dropped my tears of happiness – for the gratitude of God’s love for keeping me save, healthy and alive with freedom and dignity - up to now

It is a story about one movement of appreciation to what people have done in making a difference to other's life.
The story is started with spirits of Love and ending with Hopes to disperse the love and hopes...
One person gave the blue ribbon to the person he/she appreciated and asked the person to give other blue ribbons to the person(s) they appreciated as well. A chain of love and appreciation...

The story has showed one boy was saved from committing suicide...; he felt being abandoned from the parents… He wrote a goodbye letter and by his surprised he received a blue ribbon from the father who realized how tough the boy’s life… He put job as priority while actually he love his son very much. The boy sobbed and cried… he thought he was the unwanted person in the family…
This story may save many more people’s life if you sent the blue ribbons.

The blue ribbon is given; not merely a physical token but most important - the love right which most of the time is disappeared within family, spouses, society and organization life. The facts showed how spouse needs each other, children need parents; staffs need bosses, people need leaders and how we need God!
The loosing bonding of love is happened due to distance, economic, position, time and workloads. The right to love is forgotten; and many souls were turned down...

The biased perception on gender equality which put women under shadow of men and made most women afraid of men; the fathers who sold the daughters, the husbands who were beating the wives, the trafficked women who surrendered to mafia for loosing bargaining power and afraid to speak and pushing their rights; even as the gender activists were being intimidated, discriminated and victimized.

It is a wonderful story and touched my heart; long time ago I almost commit suicide due to the strong storm to my family life, and my husband saved me. Just within this year I had another stormy situation for unbelievable story and I was victimized so badly…; I saved due to my family, friends, ‘teachers’ and God saved me for not doing ‘stupid thing”…
I was victimized; my husband said forgets it; what are you looking for...? Accept the fate and continue the life. Yes, he is right, not the money we can bring beyond life, but kindness and love

I send blue ribbons to people who helped me...

One thing I know, I might not make a difference to my life, but I could make a difference to others' life
I could tell all evidence of betrayal, harassment, power abuse, white collar crime, God's protection, family bonding and experiences from love to sickness and death
Prevention is better than cure!

In fact, the PulseWire made a difference to my life; it is awaken me of struggling spirit for keeping the pulse: tic tock tic tock... It made me active and stand up for more works
Just in the past two months I was desperate, I was sad and dissatisfied to my life...
However, I understand just recently how God made the difference by giving new network, gave back earlier networks and freedom to innovation and creativity beyond bureaucracy and pressures; and I got recognitions!
Life is so precious; one at a time, I remember again: when there is a will there is a way!
Empowered yourself, and then only you can empower others

In PulseWire I read, listened and learned..; I understand more from other parts of the world!
It is amazing media of communication about women's barriers, needs, experiences; and a world pulse indeed...

Let's move on to make a difference in family, society, community, nation and the world!
I attached the power point presentation for you within the spirit of right to love!

A blue ribbon to the PulseWire and all of you..!
May we make changes for a better gender harmony and peaceful life!

ES

Downloads

Comments

Dando's picture

Hi

Beautiful Post!
I have learnt alot from you Erna.

Keep up the wonderful work and all the very best.

with love

Dear Dando,

Thanks for your nice words and wishes.
I am thinking deeper lately; to be a good saylor is not from the 'nice and calm' ocean but the stormy and big waves; and to have a well grown manggo tree and have more fruits on it, we need to make light cutting along the branches - so to grow tougher and being advanced we need to take over all pressures of environment, either positive or negative to get the transformation.

My second son was 15 years old when he received high school scholarship abroad. My husband was afraid the boy would not survive against temptation, free life and far from parents. I considered the situation was a gift to the boy; as parents we had not enough money to send him study abroad why block his luck? He has the right to love from God and God would have never turned him down...; He will provide the needful and as the mother I would do anything to help him. My son left home in 1998, now he is in Spain taking intership for his PhD study - all were supported by scholarships four times.He has long journey to get his advancement; not easy but he survived.

Love sometime could be a double blade if you made it too sharp. Over-protection to family, over-strength to staff and over-scared of something are not good...
Enjoy life, accept the situation but do your best! Let God do the rest! When you were victimized it's not easy though...

Right to love has set position for the right-holders and duty-bearers. I think it is part of human rights as God created human by Love; and important to get peaceful mind.
It is noted that we could make a difference in either position; consistently positive or negative... As agents of changes, do positive to get the flow of happiness...

Let us pray: may the right to love become part of treasures in family, society and nation life!
Greetings with peace, faith, love and hope,

ES

Dando's picture

Whoa!

Am amazed about how you persevered to ensure that your child never lost the once in a life opportunity.
For sure God is faithful for he has seen your son and even blessed him more and more.
You are a real woman who stands for what she believes in. Its true let us do our best and God will do the rest.
I wish you the very best with your family!

Peace and love

Dando

Erna Surjadi's picture

Opportunity, access and control

Dando dear,

Thanks a lot, I think women are born for real. However sometimes they are not equipped enough to face the environment, life and the world.
Due to lack of information, confidence and resources they loss the opportunities.
Giving the chance to grow to children is also an opportunity to be a good mother or parents; despite the child opportunity to get further study and advanced condition.

Women in most of the time don't get access nor the opportunity to take the advancement; they are mostly living within the walls of households/basic life only; even if they go working they just need the money to support herself and children. How many from them are really pursueing the advancement?

It is happened maybe because they don't have the access nor the control to get the advancement. Single parents, limited capability and network, limited resources and so on are some reasons they could not go further for better career.
The access are mostly held not by women; even if the women got the access the control is held by men.

I got experiences that within patriarchy culture I did not have the control to my education dream; though I got the access. My father wanted me to be differently from the field I wanted. I followed my father and lucky I love the work and career; I still remember I loss already the opportunity though. That's why I did not want my children being blocked by the parents.
My son got the scholarship, that was his rewards; as the parents me and husband had to support him. Lucky we agreed to support him; otherwise a regret might come.

May adolescents,especially girls get more opportunities in the future for advancement.
Girls are investment to the future of family, society and nation!

ES

amymorros's picture

A Blue Ribbon

Thank you for sharing such a personal story. I am so glad you are here today using your many talents to make a better life for yourself, your family and your community.

Amy
@amyinstl

Dear amy,

Thanks for the blue ribbon message.
Maybe what I and my husband done to our son due to bonding and congenial relationship. Thus giving more access and opportunity even control to others is big chalenge for us.
There are so many women and girls don't have it.

It is noted, other's experiences is best teacher, not to wait for having the experiences by yourself and need to think from Nil - at least we can compare other's experiences and take it as reference before made any decision.

ICT makes the above faster spreading; however it is like a candle - you can keep the light burning if you know the way to keep it from the wind. Sometime you need to use your own candle too to keep this light burning, due to my candle is burning to be less and less..
It is not whose candle it is; the stories in PulseWire may keep the light burning..

We need to continue spreading stories, experiences and opinion that made us learned, inspired and moved on as agents of changes.
For a better life in your community, our communities and the world!

Best wishes,
ES

hannah's picture

Thank you for sharing your

Thank you for sharing your story! I love what you say, prevention IS better than the cure. I am completely in agreement with you here. I think you will do great things for others' lives, and with that, you will be doing great things for yourself.

Erna Surjadi's picture

we are just the tool

Dear Hannah,

Greetings from Salzburg, Austria the Mozart city!
Thanks for your comments, nice words and hopes.
I think we all are just the tool while the plan is following God's will only.

I am more and more realized about that this evening when listened to others- the participants for the Global seminar who are mostly women. Among 48 persons from 27 countries, only 7 are men. I heard today opinions and perspectives about relationship, marriage, children, politics, economic, social and gender movement.

One woman said why should we have more babies while the world have so many children need parents? Why getting married if this preventing your career and social life? Another woman said: why women don't support other women in the election - even after the women were elected they chose men as their groups not the women...

I'm amazed.. I am learning and more concerns within the various ways of people thinking.. While put respect on any opinion many of us don't understand about historical and nation building. Shall we give away our nation to become the world's citizenship due to no baby is born from our own country; and brought orphans from other countries in? There are so much challenges that need to be discussed.

Gender apparently is not simple any more due to I heard several countries have spirits to 'produce' more human resources to 'grasp' more power from the human as resources..

Be the agents of changes need a hollistic approach; not merely simple relationship who win or loose or you would like to help or not. I am truly interested to get involved further in the discussion. What will be the best solution; and what is the real issue on the above..

This is not whether good to be married or to stay single or helping the world or the simple human rights. But I think talking about what is needed in the country and the world starting from gender harmony understanding, egalitarian ethos to support each other including family career development... It is a great challenge indeed.
However, we all know when there is a will there is away..

Keep moving on!
ES

Christine.Dahl's picture

connecting with love and hope

Dear Erna
I really enjoyed reading this essay. I like the story of hope that grows out of sharing the blue ribbon with the people we love. You have a soft and strong voice, filled with hope and wisdom coming from your experiences. I look forward to reading more of your essays. I feel inspired to share some blue ribbons with people around me.
Warmly,
Christine

Erna Surjadi's picture

Blue ribbon to you

Dear Christine,

Thanks for nice words and sincere heart.
I gave you a blue ribbon due to you made my day today.

I was in a seminar this morning. I was so sad listened one lady mentioned as manager she prefers hiring young people instead of older women who might need excuses for taking care their children later on. I talked to my self: what about women with disability? They never asked to be like that; shall we close and burried their hope to be independent person?

Apparently many persons don't understand human rights. It is a fact that women are not automatically supporting women. We forgot our nature as women that men cannot do. Thus, if we as women won't give understanding to the nature situation of being a woman; why men should?

I remember the story from women who asked for their right in taking leave from office during menstruation. The man in charged asking them to show the blood or the soft-tex; how this then eventually preventing many women from taking leave due to sickness and they loss the right to health.

Women talked about political cloud and 'blamed' men don't have understanding about women's need; however they never realized the power is not automatically come from strong voices and changed themselves into the 'controller' or 'decision makers' - every thing touches the hearts must come from the heart.

I silently dropped my tears due to more women have strong and vocal voices with strong hearts; and most of them have decided to take over the lead from men... A woman with soft voices is treated like a weak person; though in fact few men admitted they like the idea of gender harmony for the equity. But majority always win.
What actually we are looking for?
We see ebony and ivory in a piano; they are producing sound in perfect harmony - why don't we?

We have to admit we need more blue ribbons for stimulating more persons in giving peace, harmony and security...including for gender working with men as partners not competitors...

Let's be the agents of changes to the gender equality relationship not pushing the changes on behalf gender but loss the harmony and equity...
We pray for a better tomorrow...
Best wishes,
ES

Christine.Dahl's picture

I think you noticed something

I think you noticed something very important. Being a woman doesn't mean you automatically think in a way that promotes gender equality. There are opportunities to open minds and teach everywhere. I hope your tears water the growth of flowers.
Christine

Erna Surjadi's picture

It is called androgene

When women imitated men as their role models; it is called androgene; this is not we expected.
Having even a woman president it is not automatically promoting the gender equality...

This is our great challenge. It is harder to face internal team compared to external.. It hurts...
That's why domestic violence may bring to mental health...!
However, recognicing the problems is one positive result.

As women we know tears is part of gender disparities; remember even in happiness of having baby we dropped the tears..
Nice words and sincere heart - may this is grown...

Let's move on.. And be the agents of changes!

Erna

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