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Let Our Weakness Be Our Source Of Strength

My father Eden Camarillo. This photo is in my prayerbook.

My father has throat cancer. He turned 66 years old last August 3rd, 2010 and weighs less than 100 pounds. He was an athletic, smart and prosperous man but when I went home to Manila last February 2010, I saw a man who was so weak and could no longer take care of himself. I feared that this might be the last time I would ever see him. I’m glad that I went home. My father instilled so many things in my heart.
He reminded me that I should never look down on a person especially those who have less in life. He also said that I must never give up or retreat in any battle. When I decided to work overseas I thought I hit a goldmine. I was wrong. All migrant workers had to go through immigration processes and pay all their fees. Today, I could fully understand why so many would just be living and working under the radar. Since 1999 up to this year I have spent close to $30,000.00 just for all these papers and retainers fee for lawyers. One night I found myself crying hurtfully not knowing what to do. I have no savings and no credit card to pay for all these fees. Where will I get the money? As I was crying I was slowly feeling so weak and out of breath that my knees just fell on the floor. Then I remembered my father while he was on his hospital bed. Despite his desolate situation he started praying. In between heaving and patchy breathing my father wanted to live. On bended knees I surrendered in prayer just like what my father did. I found strength from my weakest hour. My father’s tribulation is asking for an extension on his life, my problem is just money. I should not be bawling. I know that help is on the way. Days passed and little by little people are helping out even if it is just a few dollars. A few more hundreds and I will be able to come up with the total amount needed and pay for these immigration processing fees. Hope springs eternal. The universe has a peculiar way of putting things in order.
To this day my father is still going through radiation and chemotherapy, he is not giving up and I am not giving up too.
I think of other women who are in the same situation as I am. I know that there are so many migrant women in my community living with a barrage of curve balls being thrown to. There must be so many of us out there and so many who are willing to help. I have already emailed friends about World Pulse and I intend to post flyers in public libraries and find my other sisters. They too have stories to share. We could all be weak because that makes us human and together we become each others source of strength.

Photo from Life.com

Comments

vivian's picture

you will make it

Each time I read you post, I sense the courage in you to make a change. My friend you can make it and you will really do. I pray for your success especial in this training. I will be a winner at last.

Cheers

Vivian

''Every woman have a story at every stage of Life''

everlyrose's picture

Hey Viv

Worldpulse keeps me going. anything could happen to my father from this moment and i never had the chance to honor him. with this, i feel that i am honoring him in a way that i can, he probably would have expected more
but i am so many miles away from him and i have to be here for my daughters, i know he will understand
what is important is, he knows that all his children love him so and his legacy will live on forever
i have so many stories about my father, he is really a good man, the only thing is he could not stop from being a womanizer :) ( oh well), but that was my mom's problem and not his children( when we were younger) but as we grew older of course we became aware about the fights and the late nights and financial issues,
we were not a perfect family, we were more dysfunctional than ever, but we respected both our parents and love them unconditionally
it will truly hurt if i would hear the news that my father is gone, but then i know that his suffering will end, still, i am hoping that he would live a little longer . . .

take care
everly

Solvitur ambulando
(it is solved by walking)

vivian's picture

he is your hero

Life and death is in the hand of our creator. Rest your mind about him. You are honoring by writing about him. He is your hero.

Vivian

''Every woman have a story at every stage of Life''

vivian's picture

you will make it

Each time I read you post, I sense the courage in you to make a change. My friend you can make it and you will really do. I pray for your success especial in this training. I will be a winner at last.

Cheers

Vivian

''Every woman have a story at every stage of Life''

Airyn Lentija's picture

Inspiring Post

Dear Everly,
I can relate to your emotions towards the situation of your father since i have been one of the "caregivers" of a cancer support group her in Hong Kong.Caregivers are domestic workers also who look after their fellow domestic workers who were diagnosed to have cancer.Im a member of the group since 2008 and ive seen how hard it is for the patients to undergo chemotherapy and radiotherapy.Usually,what we do is to make them feel they're not alone,make them feel our love and care and remember them from time to time to ease their depression.Those simple things gave them strength.
Your dad and you will be on my prayers and im so honoured to meet another courageous Filipina here in World Pulse.
God bless you!

Airyn Lentija-Sloan

http://airynspoetry.blospot.com

everlyrose's picture

Hello Airyn

I just heard from my brother last night that my father already lost most of his hair and is frail as ever. Nagbibilin na daw. i really could not concentrate with my life but I have to, I have two daughters with me whom i have to take care of and support. I hope my father would still live longer.

I admire your work and your compassion. Thank you so much for your prayers, we really need it so bad.
let's keep in touch often

Everly

Solvitur ambulando
(it is solved by walking)

aimeeknight's picture

Dear Everly, I am so sorry

Dear Everly,
I am so sorry about your father. You have written a beautiful tribute to him. You reflect his strength and courage. The power of prayer is limitless, you will be in mine.

"One shoe can change a life" ~ Cinderella

everlyrose's picture

thank you so much

aimee i sent you a message thru WP and also added you in FB

take care

everly

Solvitur ambulando
(it is solved by walking)

ladyblue's picture

Hi Everly,

I admire you for the way you honor your father by caring for him and continually loving him and fighting for him.I will keep you and your father in my prayers too. Continue to be strong ...

everlyrose's picture

thank you so much

your thoughts are well appreciated

Solvitur ambulando
(it is solved by walking)

olutosin's picture

My regards to your dad

Dear friend, I know how you feel, my deep regard to your father and you.....take heart, we come we will go....May he have the strength to pass through this period. Amen

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

everlyrose's picture

my dear thank you

it is quite hard because my dad is so far away from me, but i always pray for him
how is your book coming along? do email me even just the first chapter
take care

everly

Solvitur ambulando
(it is solved by walking)

NyamburaFoley's picture

Everly..

You are right when you say the universe has a weird way of patching things up when they seem scattered and broken. You are a courageous woman and it is people like you who restore my faith in humanity.

Please keep writing and sharing with us your journey.

Regards,

Nyambura

everlyrose's picture

Hello nyambura

we are truly blessed as we get connected with so many women in this group, i was reading some of your posts and your narratives are powerful too
thank you so much for encouraging me to keep on writing

take care

everly

Solvitur ambulando
(it is solved by walking)

Mei Li's picture

Thank you...

for listening to my post and adding your insight. Your voice is so strong and powerful and I believe you are honoring your father well with speaking your truth.

The fees paid here go unmentioned on the news, which is not surprising, as many important aspects are often left neglected. I read yesterday about how much money the US receives during the paper process.

I think there is so much nerve when it comes to discrimation against migrant workers in my community, in any community. People do not realize the struggle of becoming legal citizens. They think that just because a person is here "illegally" simply means they jumped the border and are trying to deplete the American economy - what they do not realize is the amount of money and time it takes to become citizens. My close friend Ingrid came here from Venezuela 10 years ago and finally received citizenship THIS YEAR. Her and her husband are hard working and contribute greatly to our community. They are the most loving, free spirited, open minded people I have EVER met. I have known her for four years and I have NEVER heard her speak ill of anyone, even when she is confronted with classism and discrimination in her own life and her 8 yr old son's life...she always ends the conversation with, "All we can do is be a light, to spread awareness, to remember these people think this way because it is so deeply engrained." I have never met anyone who has such a developed, unyielding sense of compassion, empathy, and kindness. So, when people speak about illegal immigrants I think of Ingrid working to become a citizen, how many fundraisers she organizes annually or contributes to for cancer, for local charities, for anything she can be a part of. I think of knowing myself the most intimately when I am lying on a yoga mat in her classroom while she plays Tibetan bowls and crystal bowls for us, with ommmmm gently in the background on the ipod, how every class brings me to understand myself better.

You said this, "when we were younger, as we grew older of course we became aware about the fights and the late nights and financial issues, we were not a perfect family, we were more dysfunctional than ever, but we respected both our parents and love them unconditionally,"

it fills my heart to read those words. No family is perfect. I have learned the same lessons - to love my parents unconditionally despite their downfalls and questionable parenting. No parent comes with a handbook. Abuse was evident in my home, but I live in the present moment.

I wish you many evenings with pen in hand, writing your stories so that his legacy is written as well as it lives in your memory.

And thank you for responding to my post and telling me my voice is important when it comes to this issue. I know many states right now have a watchful eye on Arizona - I see the discrimation daily, and I am grateful to have read your insight into it.

"...our compassion is the practice of unconditioning." Jakusho Kwong Roshi

everlyrose's picture

thank you so much

Dear Mei Li,

thank you for sharing your story about Ingrid. A friend of mine once said " Everly, some people just do not know how migrating break families apart". And even though families would move from one place to another, the transition is difficult most of the time.

We do have to be watchful and vigilant with Arizona, it is disheartening with the daily discrimination that you see and hear. I had a few interludes with discrimination and I still carry the hurt and scar. I guess you move on but never forget. I just dont get it, we are all human beings right? Yet, I feel so alienated with the way some people treat me. I really have to fight tooth and nail sometimes to stand my ground to prove that I don't have a tail and yessss, I can speak and understand English.

Oh, this will be a long journey for all of us ....and I hope, for our children's sake, tomorrow will be a much better place for them.

take care

everly

Solvitur ambulando
(it is solved by walking)

marissabrodney's picture

Incredible strength

Everly,
Thank you for sharing your story with us. The strength you show through your words and through your voice is inspiring and humbling, and I wish you all the strength and love in the world as you continue on your journey. Keep up the good work!!!
Best,
Marissa

everlyrose's picture

hi marissa

thank you so much for all your support. how are you doing right now? are you busy with work? let us know what your missions are and how is it progressing.

take care

everly

Solvitur ambulando
(it is solved by walking)

noreens's picture

nice

Hi Everly,

Wow!! So many people liked your post. I am one of them! You wrote a very nice tribute to your father. I'm sure it was therapeutic for you to to honor him in front of so many people. I'm sorry that I haven't been in touch lately - been a bit overwhelmed with my own life. I hope everything is going well. I wish the best of everything to you and your father. I know how difficult it is to be so far from family and home. I have spend most of my life with that feeling, and getting older doesn't help..........it's not an age thing. Take care!

Noreen

everlyrose's picture

Hi Noreen

My thoughts are with my dad lately. I heard from my brother that he is already bald due to chemo and radio therapy. I dont know any other way to honor him except here, surrounded by strong, compassionate women. What is keepin you busy lately? How is work? It must really be very tough and very challenging everyday. But, you are strong and you have so much conviction, dont worry about age. According to one of our sisters here in WP, age is just a number :)
Doncha think? Take care and always stay happy.

everly

Solvitur ambulando
(it is solved by walking)

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