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Unfrozen

It is 3 in the morning in my barracks room and I’m lying in my rack still holding my breath; my head is swirling, grasping to understand. He finally left. All my combat training skills and I didn’t stop him...I just froze...I’m a damn Marine, for God’s sake...I should have hit him...I just froze...I should have pushed him off of the top bunk where I lay...I should have screamed...I just froze...I know how to fight, but I froze...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t until recently, 15 years after my sexual assault in the Marine Corps, that I actually acknowledged to myself that it occurred. The mind is an amazing thing when it comes to surviving trauma, and women are skilled survivors. We have a lot of experience with it, but we need to get beyond accepting survival as enough. We need to change the cultures and communities that continue to allow our traumas to occur. We need to stop blaming ourselves...stop blaming each other. We need to become unfrozen!

While serving in the Marine Corps, I learned tactics that achieved change by force. These strategies, based on a masculine paradigm of physical and intellectual power, left me, as a woman, feeling disempowered—at times completely powerless. The military culture goes beyond just devaluing anything feminine; it encourages the complete eradication and destruction of femininity. The only thing feminized in the military is the enemy. The military is a microcosm of the larger, dominant culture, and it is a startling truth to accept that our feminine power and qualities are perceived as the enemy.

Here’s the ultimate paradox: women serving in very “powerful” positions often find themselves isolated in the fortress of masculine structures—from the military to corporations—that cut them off from accessing their authentic power. The more powerful they become, the less likely they are to form and maintain essential partnerships with other women. So, the common definitions of power, as defined by extreme masculine values, divide and isolate us, and keep us frozen in our fear–silent and small–no matter how “powerful” we appear. If we internalize masculine values as “truth,” then we come to believe the very source of our power is the enemy.

But the fierce feminine is powerful and tenacious! When I see the truth of authentic feminine power reflected back to me in my sisters’ eyes and words, that truth wakes up in me like a raging dragon. Its breath of fire melts the ice-cold fear that keeps me frozen.

Our collective spirit–rooted in our intuition and feminine wisdom—will lift us beyond survival and inspire us to challenge the paradigms that keep us frozen. My connections through Pulsewire and other Internet programs are the solutions because they connect me to my sisters across the globe, and remind me that I am not alone and I do not need to fear my feminine power; it is not the enemy. It is the truth of my being and my most essential weapon for change.

Comments

Noriah Ismail's picture

Great Self-Revelation!

"As one person I cannot change the world, but I can change the world of one person."
~ Paul Shane Spear

Don't be afraid to embrace and find strength in your own feminism - it is the ultimate power for women!

The change you seek for is well worth it.

Even if others do not-Be That One!!

Dr.Noriah Ismail
Senior Lecturer
Academy of Language Studies
UiTM Segamat Johor
Malaysia

Jennifer Brier's picture

Thank you!

Thank you Noriah!

Yes, it is our most essential truth and source of strength...I am incredibly thankful for World Pulse for connecting women in this truth....it is transforming the world one individual world at a time!

In our truth and power we connect....

Jennifer

Jennifer

"I am a woman, that's my weapon!" ~Catherine Robbins

dg.vegas's picture

Great post! filled with

Great post! filled with transformation!

Jennifer Brier's picture

Thank you!

Thank you for your lovely comment....

In our truth and power we connect!
Jennifer

Jennifer

"I am a woman, that's my weapon!" ~Catherine Robbins

Marti's picture

collective spirit

Hi Jennifer,
I agree--it is our collective spirit that will inspire us! I'd love to hear more of your ideas about how you envision feminine power bringing about solutions to the challenges women face.

In partnership with you,
Marti

Christine L's picture

Powerful story

Hi Jennifer,
This story, your story, (her)story is powerful. It speaks at so many levels to the patriarchal structures that are all around us.

It also speaks in a softer, subtler voice to the strenght of a woman to be able to survive in spite of the domninant and established structures.

Thank you for sharing this.
Christine

“Be the change you want to see in the world.”- Mahatma Gandhi
www.harmonydrs.com

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