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I am ...

I am … Afraid. I am afraid that my challenges aren’t sufficient to create change, at any level.

I am … Worried. I am worried that communicating my challenges may diminish those challenges I deem more worthy and credible.

I am … Unsure. I am unsure how to move forward without knowing that my voice, my challenges, my ideas, my self will create the kind of change I think is necessary to transform my community.

I am … Exposed. I am exposed to the truth of women I read about, see, connect with and am confronted by.

* * * * *

The simple truth is that I am the challenge to the change I so desperately want in this world. I see possibilities, and then I retreat, believing that my voice, my story isn’t enough to make a different. I witness suffering, and I quickly withdraw, because I think that others’ suffering is far greater than my own, which leaves me an impotent spectator. I hear stories – compelling stories! – from women who, every single day of their lives, do something – anything! – to make a difference no matter their circumstances, and I remove myself from the dialog because I feel like my voice won’t be heard among the chorus of authentic, courageous and steadfast “change agents” before me.

As I move through these feelings and beliefs, I get to a place where I see that the women by whom I seem to be intimidated are the very women who are the solution; the key to unlocking the chain of fear, doubt, and vulnerability that holds me captive and prevents me from making even the smallest of difference in my community. Every story, every journal entry I read opens my heart to the women behind them, which replaces the paralyzing chain by which I’ve been bound and, instead, fastens a new chain made of love, hope and the possibility of transformation.

PulseWire (and Web 2.0 generally) is the grease that will keep the chain well-oiled and malleable; it’s the conduit through which connection with women will be generated and maintained. I can’t know what’s ahead of me – of us – but I can say that with connection comes support, encouragement, discipline, tenacity, commitment and a future full of possibilities.

* * * * *

I am also …

Thankful. I am thankful for a network where our voices can be shared, heard, and appreciated.

Encouraged. I am encouraged by the strength and insight of the many women I have come to know through their stories.

Hopeful. I am hopeful for the future; a future filled with new friends and opportunities to make a difference – no matter how big or how small.

I am Me. I am a woman with a story, not to be compared or judged, but simply to be acknowledged. And I am a woman with a voice, not to be muted or dubbed over, but to be heard without criticism or ridicule.

[Post script: This was the most difficult assignment to work through – whew!]

Comments

Fungai Machirori's picture

Thank you

Your honesty is refreshing. Thank you for it.

from today i live out of my imagination
i am more than my yesterday
tomorrow i plant a new seed
nothing that lies behind easy
nothing that is ahead real
my within is all i have today
*Napo Masheane*

aimeeknight's picture

I share your thoughts and

I share your thoughts and yes, this was a difficult one! Great job and thank you for sharing.

"One shoe can change a life" ~ Cinderella

Amei's picture

These are humongous issues!

I had to see what you had come up with after your comments on mine!

I loved your article. It was beautifully written and captured my thought. It will keep my mind busy. Wow, I liked the way you have written too. … Hey Megan, your procrastination has helped you here!

Thanks for the comments you made on my post. I get so amazed!

In friendship
Amei

Megan Reyes's picture

I loved your story ...

.. about what you most loved about the day spent with your friend - lovely, sweet, sincere ... how do we convince the world that these are the actions and experiences that bring about transformation?? Thanks for the connection with you!!

Best regards,

Megan

Inspirationally,

Megan

rmweaver's picture

I commend you for putting

I commend you for putting yourself out there as you did ! It took a great deal of courage to call out your fears.

The following part of your essay stood out to me:

"I hear stories – compelling stories! – from women who, every single day of their lives, do something – anything! – to make a difference no matter their circumstances, and I remove myself from the dialog because I feel like my voice won’t be heard among the chorus of authentic, courageous and steadfast “change agents” before me."

I have read your other postings and you have a very compelling story to tell. I sincerely hope that you continue to tell it. I've had a thought weighing on my mind this past week - that the power of World Pulse and Pulse Wire is not only in just reading the stories of other women around the world, but also in the telling of our own stories, no matter how small it may seem by comparison.

All the best,
rmweaver

tallybery's picture

Dear Megan, I am here as part

Dear Megan,

I am here as part of the listener group to congratulate you on this assignment. It takes a great amount of courage to put yourself out there the way you just did. It is very important to recognize you fears and challenges in order to improve. I belive that it will be easier to advance once you are free from the need for comparison, once you have yourself as your own reference point, not others. I suffer from this anxiety as well...I see so many people doing such a wonderfull job trespassing such challenging situations that I doubt if I am doing enought. I too wish I was able to do more. I belive I will, but I have to start by trespassing my inner challenges before. I belive that once I gain my self steam back, I will feel lighter and more able to recognize the opportunities and to size them properly. Changing needs to come from inside out. I am looking forward to reading your next text. All the best :-)

Mirchii's picture

Honesty

Dear Megan,

Your honesty is heart-warming. I would have, however, loved to read more about your personal story, and specific challenges in the attempts that you have made to correct a prevalent ill in your community. Keep your spirits high for the future is now!

Love and peace,
Mirchii

Megan Reyes's picture

thanks for your comment

Hi Mirchii,

My challenges currently are something that plague professional women around the world - discrimination in the workplace. I have stood up to it all my life and have yet to reap any reward ... interesting. I am leaving a work place situation in search of lots of things, though to be completely honest, there is a part of me that is running away. I just can't handle it like I used to ... e.g. colleagues calling me a "hot-headed Latina" and laughing as they speak it. I'm taking a journey to discover myself and discover that hidden slice of humanity that I know still exists but is becoming ever more elusive. As a child, i didn't understand the mistreatment of any living thing and I still, at 51, am perplexed by it. You and the rest of my WP sisters have helped me open my heart and mind to new possibilities that will contribute to my awakening ... THANK YOU!!

Megan

Inspirationally,

Megan

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