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My challenges and the way forward…….

Being a development worker and questioning the present patriarchal environment I found my self has not been easy, it still is not easy.

I have faced many challenges growing up as a female, girl and young woman who questioned many things and tried to argue and change people’s orientation about women and girl’s issues in my community and one thing was clear boys and men in my community where very comfortable with the way things were and did not need any change and if I was to create any positive change women and girls issues, I had to make talking about our issues, women and girls issues part of my life. I had to talk change, live change and be prepared for a life long struggle.

I have faced a lot of challenges in different ways but will share few, daily my friends remind me that I can not find anyone who will be willing to marry me if I do not give up my attitude of talking about girls and women issues and trying to equate men to women and cap it all with saying am growing older in age and women have a time limit when they can be married.

It still is difficult for me to encourage girls and women take up leadership positions in different bodies in schools as the girls and women themselves are scared and do not want to oppose their male folks saying men are suppose to be the head giving males the opportunity to say women are fighting themselves.

Being a trainer and a facilitator becomes difficult by the day as people see you as a super human being who is suppose to change their world with a “witch wand”. They expect you to know all and do not want to be part of the “Change” process. They see it as my thing to change girls and women orientation not as our thing leaving me to talk and talk, advocate and perspire a lot during the process.

I have learnt to work with like minded people no matter how small they may be in number while advocating for an issue or doing community work. I have learnt to believe in my self and my skills using them positively each time I have the opportunity and reminded my friends daily too that marriage is a choice that will be fulfilled if both partners are comfortable with the personality involved and are happy.

PulseWire is an awesome plat form where I am relating and interacting with other women from all over the globe gaining inspiration and encouragement to do my work and be a change maker. This past weeks of my involvement in this training has reopened my eyes on how important it is for me to remain focus. Most importantly, it has revived my love for writing which has been the most valuable way I express myself.

Comments

Rudzanimbilu's picture

I hear you Emyeyo

I can relate to what you are saying. It's really hard in our complex system to develop girls and women to take on leadership roles. The environment sets you up for failure and you immediately become an outcast for being bold and for fighting for human rights. It's going to take a long time before women can understand that they are not inferior and they are just as equal as men like we are all equal before the law. Don't give up on doing community work, one day it will pay off and you will be able to see change and you will talk less because they will do the talking for you. thank you for the post.

Rudzanimbilu Muthambi

Emyeyo's picture

Thanks

Thanks for your comment. I won't give up because I believe with joint efforts from everyone we can make the change we want.

Emyeyo

Frances Faulkner's picture

Natural Leader

Emyeyo,
You have obviously been a natural questioner from a young age. Don't ever lose that quality! The only way the world becomes a better place, offering human rights to all people, is when people question what they see and hear around them on a daily basis, and try to make change to get rid of inequalities and wrongs.

You have a nice spark and sense of humor ("...perspire a lot during the process" - made me laugh) that shows your strenght, and you are absolutely right about marriage. You will marry if and when a life partner comes along who can honor you as his equal and allow you the freedom to be a complete individual, and vice versa.

Keep up all of your hard work, your strong messages and your good writing.

Frances

Emyeyo's picture

Thanks

Thanks so much for your inspiring comment.

Emyeyo

kati.mayfield's picture

change for good

Emyeyo,

These words of yours have stuck in my head: " boys and men in my community where very comfortable with the way things were and did not need any change"

Because I believe that all of us - men, women, boys and girls alike - have to be advocates of women's rights and gender equity in order for real change to happen, I want to ask you:

how do you teach not only the women and girls that you fight for, but also the men and boys in your society, that we ALL benefit when we abolish backwards, misogynistic ideals and practices?

I look forward to knowing what you have to say!

*resolved this year to think twice and to smile twice before doing anything*

Emyeyo's picture

Hi

It is not only me but the training that I facilitate as a staff of GPI. GPI does not teach, we facilitate sessions that assist young girls to develop critical thinking skills to be able to question some cultural and societal practices that do not go down well with women's health, psychology and so on and become advocates for a change. There are other programmes GPI organizes to encourage healthy interactions amongst male and females like; Inter-schools debate, quiz and talent competitions amongst young people and those foras are used to facilitate the spread of useful information on health growing up for both boys and girls. Though one thing remains obvious, GPI's focus is on young girls because of their disadvantaged position in the society and the training is also for them to re-socialise their brothers, uncles, fathers and friends to be different and know better hoping with close family members on board as their ally change is just a short mile away!!!

Thanks for your comment and question.

Have a great week ahead.

Emyeyo

kati.mayfield's picture

thank you for your response!

Dear Emyeyo,

I really like that you say "GPI does not teach, we facilitate" - the best teachers are the ones who facilitate our learning process, giving us the context around which to frame our thoughts and therefore the opportunity to teach ourselves. How wonderful that GPI helps women " re-socialize" with their male counterparts through activities that are mutually beneficial for all. That is the way to create change!

Thank you for your words and work,

-Kati

*resolved this year to think twice and to smile twice before doing anything*

lolatsai's picture

Great voice

Dear Emyeyo,

I'm so happy that you are an advocate for girls/women's strength and power! With your persistence and determination, I know you will continue to be a change-maker in Nigeria and the world :)

Love & blessings to you,
Lola

Love & blessings,
Lola

www.oneglowinglife.com

Emyeyo's picture

Thanks

Thanks so much for your comment.

Emyeyo

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