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Mens involvement in ending Violence Against women

I was really impressed by the men's participation in ending violence against women in Nigeria, organised by the pastor. If society guided by the church can slowly encourage men to share in this way, they would get more sensitised and slowly violence against women wolud reduce.

The greatest challenge is that most policy makers being men, are themselves naive about VAW and would need to be sensitised. Inclusion of GBV issues in all aspects of programs, policy gender consideration would really help make this place a better place and more peaceful.

We are reminded to show and extend love, respect, and peace to others to help reduce violence against women and this will be work better with social inclusion where men are involved, sensitized and molded to practice some of the basic and minimal principles and values that appreciate women.

It begins in the family and with you and me, then we can share it with others.


NI NI AYE's picture

That's Beautiful!

Dear margo

I am so pleased to know this . That's beautiful and valued. I expect much more involvement by gentle men like this pastor.

Best Regards


Congratulations on Very Happy Teachers Day through ten years journey!

Harihimat's picture

Great job done by the

Great job done by the pastor!

I was going to fast and I am still on to fights violence against woman but some administrator have demoralized our articles that has stopped will to post more woman cases that suffer under men's rule in Quetta city, Pakistan. It was just because I am male.

shakila's picture


it Is a good news :)

Society is a combination of both men and women if we all work together we can easily achieve our target.

Best wishes

kombizz's picture

Hard to believe

I hope this good news stays like this forever.
Also I hope that women get their salary equality with men in Western countries.
God bless all women and responsible mother all around the world

Women's Power

Sampaguita Flores's picture

That's Good

This is really good news. Thank you for sharing.

Men and women has the right for equal rights. I believe that one can make a difference in this world of ours.

God bless,

Beejay's picture

Yes, everyone counts.....

Yes, more men are getting involved in ending VAW in Nigeria especially using religion as a pivot. It is great improvement achieved and valued as opposed to prior practices. More of such efforts need to be lauded and especially sustained. We are on course and will get there..
Kudos to all

Beejay Fabamise, Nigeria

gracewithfire's picture

It Starts in the Home

I daily try to do my part by raising my son (and daughters) to basically see persons as human beings first, and their being male or female as secondary; and to treat human beings with the fullest respect that they deserve, even if they don't like some of them or may even disagree with some of them.

I also try to do the same in relating with my students.

I hope and pray that what we all do in our own "little" ways somehow builds up to a critical mass of a new generation of self-respecting and respectful and kind and honest human beings, men and women alike.

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." - Anais Nin

Insha Allah's picture


Dear Margo,

After I have read your post, I am very impressed by the effort and participation of men in your community. Here, in my country, Myanmar, we, women have discussed men participation in gender equality movement. However, we haven't got much success. Therefore, if I have a chance to hear more about your work, it will be very useful for us.

Best regards,
Shwe Wutt Hmon

Shwe Wutt Hmon

oanhluu's picture

What do we have to do?

I agree with you. And I think that your subject are being cared so much. In reality, the women have many occasions to develope themseft and some of us are more and more worthy being potential leader. However, they are not usually belived to attend the important position. So, we need to create opportunity and movement for ourseft. Let's support our sisters. In the other hand, some of our sisters who are belived try to do your best to work and live by whole mind and heart.


News has it that a multitude of Nigerian girls are deceived into thinking they're being transported to Europe, but end up as sex workers in Mali...and with little or no means of escape, they're obliged to work and refund the money supposedly used to take care of their expenses and settlement.

It is a sad story that is definitely not new on the continent. Young promising girls tend to have their future compromised and fall into great risk, just because they seek a greener pasture. The question is- is the grass always green on the other side?

Thanks to some organization that tracked down the network, the situation is being looked into.

I think parents in Africa have an obligation to educate their children, that their success doesn't depend on travelling abroad, and especially for the girls/women, some risks which could expose them to violence, is not worth the trouble.
But again, empowerment is key, because an ignorant parent who's only excited about his/her child traveling whatever the means or condition, would not be of much help!


When men be the perpetrators; most of the time people connected the action to their behaviour and whether they are willing to change it or not. Women in sub-ordinance, marginalized, discriminated and moslty living under shadow of men are seemed begging to be treated properly. When the perpetrators are asked why - they keep saying they love the spouse and doing that for making everything right and properly performed in the family. Sadly it has never stopped and the final outcome is even death.

However, women are also having potential to be perpetrators: to her husband and to her children. Elder brother to younger sister; elder sister to younger and so on. The family violence are not new any more.
The women were disappointed by the behaviour of the husbands and felt to be exploited by them; so that they performed actions; some time not only psychological but also physical.

The gender-based violence (GBV) which happened between men and women - whether they were perpetrators or victims is proved related to patriarchy culture implementation. The perception that men should be number one has apparently brought up crisis to the mindset if something changed. For instance: women got more income than men, men feel to loosing their privileges or legitimation as the leaders etc. In the other way around, women in patriarchy culture perception still believe the husband must be the bread earner; it is in their dreams to be protected and being recipients only.

The intervening factor which is proved reducing the GBV cases into 56%, is high communication implementation in the family within egalitarian ethos. In this modern era we have to accept dual income family, otherwise it is slower to get more savings and taking higher step of economic status. Women and men are partners, no number one no number two - we are in equality; based on this perception it doesnot matter the women in higher position and no need to be ashamed if men helping in the kitchen and children care. The family may consider the best situation for them; either the wife or the husband become the major bread earner.

I know for so long one woman who is very talented in cooking and making cakes; she opened restaurant in Los Angeles together her husband who quited from his job as Notary in law firms just to help the wife. It's past almost 25 years. When I visited LA this year, they were still helping each other in the 70s. Once in a while the wife made cakes or food during weekend depending upon the request (they closed their restaurant already); and I saw by my own eyes how happy the husband working to prepare boxes, chilly, pickles etc. He has obligated to go to market; then the wife cooks. The husband has also obligated to finalize the packaging and send the delivery as necessary. They enjoyed the money for vacation and buying presents for their grand children.

Thus, mindset or perception is most important; when you communicated the family mission with your love one; everything is becoming better and you got companion/partners since actually he/she is your soulmate. Nobody closer to you than your spouse; you can trust him/her but remember nobody is perfect in this world. Together, the burdens are shared and becoming lighter.. On the high implementation of patriarchy culture with low implementation of communication among spouses - the research proved the GBV is increased into 189%!

I feel happy when my husband understood that I'm in sadness; in a sudden I don't need others...; I know God gave him to make me stronger, why should I complaint...?
Be happy within gender harmony!
Go tell the pastor and everybody to add this important perception and let's eliminate the gender-based violence!


linet bitutu's picture

it affects them psychologically.


domestic violence or women violence is one thing which has led to loss of life, divorce, separation, and many more in most families. when all these happen, men and children suffer the same way as women do. so it is good for men to support women and end this violence. it is good that men are involved in ending violence against women. the whole world should stand against it. it is really bad

Here is post from Brian Klocke from the National Organization of Men Against Sexism (yes it is for real ;-)

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