Community Update

World Pulse Toolkits Available!

At World Pulse, we recognize the need for ongoing learning—for you and for your community! Our toolkits are all available here.

We are especially excited to share our signature Citizen Journalism and Digital Empowerment Curriculum. Start learning today!

Three Years ago When I was Just a Little Woman

It was a very nice afternoon in the winter of 2007 when one of my elder brother’s friends came to visit our home. It was the first time he had ever seen me. I did not know that before leaving our home, he directly told my brother that he wanted to marry me. Despite the fact that I was not grown-up enough to marry someone, my brother couldn’t deny the proposal at that time because that guy was a very good friend of my brother. My brother spoke to my parents about his friend’s proposal. At first, I thought my parents would not deal with it seriously. However, I was surprised to see that my parents agreed to the proposal. Everything was happening like a dream. Perhaps it was the first time when I discovered what love was, but was so unlucky because our love did not last for a very long time. It was only about a week we were in a relationship, but still now, if I close my eyes I can easily go back to that time. I felt like a number of butterflies were around me. I knew why they were there. Butterflies are called the angels of marriage. I was wondering about getting married and having a husband. I was planning to buy new sarees and ornaments. I could not decide what color to wear on the night of my wedding because I was really overwhelmed by everything happening so quickly. I felt an extreme happiness inside me when I wore my engagement ring. I felt very grown up, ready to take on all the responsibilities of my in law’s home. When my future husband and I were at the veranda, nobody was there except the full moon with its dreamy glow. I vividly remember him holding my hands saying that I was the most beautiful lady in this world and if he did not see me, he would not think of marrying any other girl because the girl what he dreamt of was me. It was the day after my engagement; I was waiting by the phone for my future husband’s call as usual. But I didn’t get his call ever after. Something, unexpected, happened, I could smell that. The reason why his parents refused is that my hometown is in Barisal (a division in Bangladesh) and there is a rumor that the people from Barisal are very difficult in their manner. The boy’s parents never wanted their son to marry a girl from Barisal. I decided that I will never get married. I do not know exactly why I decided to do this. Was it for I was in love with that guy or I started to hate boys?
Now, I realize that I started to hate the concept of a being a bride in our society that she always has to be very soft and quiet and she has to agree everything whatever her husband or the in-laws tell her to do.

Comments

Ruun Abdi's picture

Dear Shaila

Dear Shaila,
I am so sory for what happened, life is made of ups and downs, i always wonder why some parents do such things or why some parents refuse the bride or groom to be married to their house, they dont have to blame what others did, they dont have to discriminate others because of their race, color, village or family, people differs the same way our 5 fingers differ from one another and that is a fact they should consider.

I am sure this isn't the end, you will gonna get the love of your life back whatever cost or you will gonna get some one who is much better than him who considers you to be his first and last queen, who looks you everyday as if its the first time he saw you, and that guy who let you down (or his parents) will regret for letting you down. dont ever give up my dear because "You will never be defeated unless you admit it", just looking your picture tells me how beautiful and strong women you are.

Peace and love,
Maria

Shaila Sharmin's picture

Dear Maryan Hassan

Thanks for your encouraging words. I am so happy that you read my story. :)

Shaila Sharmin
Undergraduate student of
PP&E (Philosophy, Politics and Economics)
Asian University for Women
20/A, M M Ali Road
Chittagong, Bangladesh

Andrea Arzaba's picture

Shaila!

Thank you for sharing your story!
And as Maryan said, life can bring us up and down. Do nt close the gates of love, as I am sure it will come back to you!

Greetings from Mexico :)

Shaila Sharmin's picture

Dear Andrea Arzaba

Thank you for going over my writing :)

Shaila Sharmin
Undergraduate student of
PP&E (Philosophy, Politics and Economics)
Asian University for Women
20/A, M M Ali Road
Chittagong, Bangladesh

Tina Mason's picture

Dear Shaila They also have

Dear Shaila

They also have lost out, as they are without you to help them open their eyes to their limiting prejudices and expose them as mere myths. I hope one day you meet someone who is strong like you and will cherish your outspokenness.

Thank you for sharing your story and I look forward to hearing more from you

Tina

Shaila Sharmin's picture

Hi

thanks for making this comment :)

Shaila Sharmin
Undergraduate student of
PP&E (Philosophy, Politics and Economics)
Asian University for Women
20/A, M M Ali Road
Chittagong, Bangladesh

lolatsai's picture

Heart

Dear Shaila,

Thank you for sharing your story of heart and love with us. Your writing is captivating. I think life sends us these emotional tests to train our heart...to learn to always come from the heart, even if we might get hurt.

Keep loving,

Lola

Love & blessings,
Lola

www.oneglowinglife.com

Shaila Sharmin's picture

Hi

thanks for making this comment :)

Shaila Sharmin
Undergraduate student of
PP&E (Philosophy, Politics and Economics)
Asian University for Women
20/A, M M Ali Road
Chittagong, Bangladesh

flickerstudios's picture

don give up my girl

hi Shaila first of all i appreciate the boldness of that guy who instantly asked ur bro abt his wish... and i also hate him on the other hand for not having the same confidence to convince his parents..dont loose hopes..what ever happens life has to go on.. so keep rocking..Life is a book, it moves chapter by chapter.. u will find the boy soon.. Love teaches you a lot..soo b happy, keep smiling.. you r looking good in the pic but still change a smiling pic..

Shaila Sharmin's picture

Hi

Thanks for ur comment :)

Shaila Sharmin
Undergraduate student of
PP&E (Philosophy, Politics and Economics)
Asian University for Women
20/A, M M Ali Road
Chittagong, Bangladesh

Shaila Sharmin's picture

Hi

Thanks for ur comment :)

Shaila Sharmin
Undergraduate student of
PP&E (Philosophy, Politics and Economics)
Asian University for Women
20/A, M M Ali Road
Chittagong, Bangladesh

jap21's picture

Hi Shaila

Your innocence and dilligence for writing your story got me hooked reading!

You have a beautiful life ahead of you. Go for it, and forget he ever existed!

Love,
Jackie

Jacqueline Patiño FundActiva
Tarija - Bolivia
South America
www.jap21.wordpress.com

Shaila Sharmin's picture

hello dear,

thanks for ur comment :)

Shaila Sharmin
Undergraduate student of
PP&E (Philosophy, Politics and Economics)
Asian University for Women
20/A, M M Ali Road
Chittagong, Bangladesh

Magazine »

Read global coverage through women's eyes

PHOTO ESSAY: The Dreams in Their Eyes

PHOTO ESSAY: The Dreams in Their Eyes

Community »

Connect with women on the ground worldwide

On Women's Agency in Southern Africa

On Women's Agency in Southern Africa

Campaigns »

Be heard at influential forums

WWW: Women Weave the Web

WWW: Women Weave the Web

Programs »

Help us train women citizen journalists

World Pulse Voices of Our Future

World Pulse Voices of Our Future

Blog »

Read the latest from World Pulse headquarters

Welcome, Women in the World!

Welcome, Women in the World!

Partners »

Join forces with our wide network of partners

Nobel Women's Initiative

Nobel Women's Initiative