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Wanted for Employment

QUALIFICATIONS:
Female
Single
Not over 25 years old
At least 5 feet 3 inches tall
With pleasing personality

FEMALE - Of course! She’s the front-liner. Her feminine wiles are supposed to bring in more clients. She’s the one hunter in this world who uses herself as the bait.

SINGLE - Sure! She’s going on dinner dates with clients to seal important business deals, work with bosses who demand her presence to the minutest detail of a business transaction, has to spend overtimes and overnights on urgent official matters, is on call 24 hours a day – 7 days a week, as the office need (or the bosses need) arises! What more – there are no maternity leaves, no absences or under-times to deal with due to kids getting sick or having trouble in school, or due to jealous or philandering husbands, pestering in-laws… and so on…. In short, single is available, office hours or not.

AT LEAST 5 FEET 3 INCHES TALL - Dear me!!! What could have made my grandma marry a despicable aborigine! I’m standing on 4 feet 5 inches of native dignity. Could 9-inch made-to-order clogs qualify me, please? What does one do in her employment, I wonder … write on ceilings, talk to attics, paint cobwebs, catch lizards, cling to heights … or something?

NOT OVER 25 YEARS OLD – Goodness gracious!!! I had to stop schooling for 4 years in high school in favor of the family’s firstborn whose college education was top priority – a boy groomed to be the provider. It took me 7 years to finish college since I had to fend for myself and pursue education as a working student. My elder brother eloped with his classmate after squandering my father's hard-earned income at my expense during his sophomore year, and returned home with more mouths to feed. So now I’m 31 and a fresh graduate. Where do you think you’d find me?

WITH PLEASING PERSONALITY – Wow!!! I got that! I got my hair highlighted to half the rainbow’s colors to conceal my age a bit! I got my eyebrows plucked and tattooed! I got myself bleached! I got my face stretched and my nose lifted. I do wish I could afford that liposuction surgery, of course! My nephew’s friends figured he has a bitch-witch aunt. My grandpa sings the Christmas carols in mid-April as he sees lanterns dangling on my ears, fingers, neck, wrist …. I don’t mind them, of course! Both my nephew and my grandpa don’t belong to my generation. It’s the trend – or I won’t be “in”. Beauty tips and consultants abound, the toast of the femme fatales – in all their ads of emotional blackmail! As if landing a good job and getting a promotion is the monopoly of the one who has perfect physical statistics.

And now comes the big problem! How in heaven’s name do I put on a movie star smile and a poise resolve with a thickly made-up face, a swollen nose, a thinly scrubbed skin, and practically all of me aching out and threatening to betray my pleasing looks and trendy glamor any moment? Oh, no bother! I guess I’d either be some kind of a wall décor or a flower vase in the office, anyway. Or what have I to be a pleasing sight for?

Fathers, husbands, brothers, sons …please be there when we fall short of the society’s standards and demands, will you? It might not be easy to get by, you know?

Precious men and boys of our lives …. If your decisions and demands prove to be a burden to us – the other half of humanity … where do you think this world is headed for?

Comments

olutosin's picture

Eh Eh Eh....

Eh Eh stop there...I am reeling with laughter of reality! May God save our daughters!

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

Emie Zozobrado's picture

Cheers!

Hi Olutosin!
Yes, God save our daughters! For now we need to survive society's demands ... and really do something short of humorous! We can only laugh at it because they say when we laugh the world laughs with us ... but when we cry, we cry alone! We need not cry .... there are too many of us with one voice now. We will be heard!

Always,
Emie Zozobrado

aimeeknight's picture

So funny!! "What does one do

So funny!! "What does one do in her employment, I wonder … write on ceilings, talk to attics, paint cobwebs, catch lizards, cling to heights … or something?" Thank you for sharing this important issue in such a humorous way.

"One shoe can change a life" ~ Cinderella

Emie Zozobrado's picture

My pleasure!

Hi Aimee! So it happens all the time! There are favored species ... and it's no fun if you don't belong there! We will definitely change that ... if only for those who are yet to experience the pain of rejection - for something that can't be helped, for someone you are not!

Always,
Emie Zozobrado

Amei's picture

You brought a smile :) Emie

I really needed some humour and this is wonderfuly written.

This reminded me of girl that was very concerend about all mention above. She was stressed, anxious and worried. I was happy to see happy in recent times.

A very real issue. God bless all of us!

A Friend :) Amei

Emie Zozobrado's picture

Cheers!

Oh yes, Amei! It's real stressful when you find yourself in a long queue of applicants where long-legged girls with movie-star smiles brush elbows with each other and hover around you as if you don't exist! The years you burned the midnight candle for good grades do not seem to matter at all! Sheer embarrassing and disgusting!

Always,
Emie Zozobrado

Waringa's picture

:)Quite funny

That was just so hilarious! I totally loved it. You brought out the underlying issues in a humorous way! Painting cobwebs?! That was so funny!

A writer in the oven you are! Looking forward to see more of that!

Emie Zozobrado's picture

Thanks!

And now I really feel good! Your comments make me realize we really share the same concerns ... women all across the globe! Wow, PulseWire is amazing!

Always,
Emie Zozobrado

Tripti's picture

m so impressed

m so impressed with your post...you are absolutely right and i urge everyone to see beyond the humour and feel the need of attention that is needed to the issue. BRAVO...i really really like this one!
Tripti

Emie Zozobrado's picture

Thanks!

Thank you so much, Tripti ... and yes, I know every one woman who's had to go through enormous introspection on whether she's fit for employment or not will know what I mean ... I do hope our men will realize that they have mothers, sisters, daughters .... loved ones, who, at one point or another, will go through the same sad experience...

Always,
Emie Zozobrado

Farona's picture

LOL (sssssss)

Your post is super-hilarious ! I once saw a very similar advertisement for secretary, the job requirement appeared to be requiring an actress than a secretary :P

Emie Zozobrado's picture

Thanks!

Hi Farona! Yes, it's sad ... and the TV ads do not help! They feature shampoos that gets a girl a job or a promotion because of her beautiful hair. Isn't that absurd??????

Always,
Emie Zozobrado

Farona's picture

If only all the women using

If only all the women using 'that' shampoo would land them a job !!!!!!!!!!!! Absolute absurdity !

N.B. I came across this link titled' 25 most horribly sexist vintage ads' :S posted on my journal ( I couldn't believe my eyes)

Emie Zozobrado's picture

Oh yes!

Yeah right, Farona ... absolute absurdity! Actually, that's emotional blackmail .... and we can change it if we sneer the ad out! We're not gonna tolerate these ads by buying their products ... and they will see! Of course, when budget is tight we always prefer the cheaper ones ... and the ads don't always sell, but it's irritating! Business people should know better!

Always,
Emie Zozobrado

Svetlana Dmitrieva's picture

thanks!

Yeah, I have always feel that. :( ofcause that is a different side too. When u too good looking men dont considr u smart and serious and women are tring avoid any commnication. Im not beautiful!!!! Why do they say that I am!

Svetlana Zens

Emie Zozobrado's picture

Hi!

You're right, Svet .... some of us women have low self esteem ... maybe it's part of the breeding. Some cultures tend to intimidate us into the wrong concept of modesty and humility. Although confidence comes from within, it would help a lot if there is encouragement and appreciation from our loved ones ... You are what you think you are, so they say ... we need to think we are important ... because, in truth, we are!

Always,
Emie Zozobrado

Dear Emie and all,

I am glad reading this communication although maybe a bit late.
During my working life; do you ever known that this kind of advertisement; which actually you feel a bit 'weird' for discrimination and fairness; had stranggled many adolescent girls into trafficking, rapes, prostitutions and mafia of drugs?

No qualified company would like to accept staff without experiences - while in the 25 you know they just graduated..
No legal company would state the physical and personality criteria in advanced; due to rights for employment is even given equally to disabled persons. The interview performed later must be directed to teamwork not personal matter.
Thus the above is hidden message to capture girls!!

My ex maid, age 18 years old once told me her story. She had applied to similar advertisement to work abroad. But then the company marked up her age into 25. She needed to learn English from books by herself withour teacher; she needed to learn household management and activities by herself without assistance - and they were kept inside several big houses for months with limited food and freedom but strong security. No body could get out without permission and they have to sign agreement to pay back their boarding cost when they worked later for at least couple months to one year; depends how they can earlier past the examination.
It was only by God's grace she was sick very badly and begging to let her come home first to her village; then she could get out from the 'jail'. She admitted she spent and wasted money to come to the 'hosting place' and for bribing the guard to be nice to her.

My friend in the government said twitter and facebook are also another ways to catch up 'innocent' girls and women; they were raped..! We can not say they are 'fool' due to they never imagined the world is not the way they imagined anymore.
When long time back parents say -don't trust strangers; they feel they found their own friends in the cyber; even feel as 'soulmates'..... ccckkk ckkkk.....

That's why I like the improvement of Pulsewire when offering friend request - it links to the profile of the requestor.
Thanks to this progress - otherwise many people may be trapped into 'segmented world' like gilrs with facebooker, twitter, Hi5 and so on
The main important is never opened the email or link you are not sure coming from the person you know - by the time you open it, automatically the virus and the system works to your email and other personal information.

In my life, I am victimized very badly by the power of cyber in my office; when you have never expected happened. Power may easily turned out the facts, especially in cyber - I just lucky many times I could prove it due to I know computer; so I can debug the log history, have enough data of documentation etc. Onething you may note - try to see the motive; it is obviously expressed by your adverstisement Emie! That's why it is also important we have to know 'our rights' as the job-seekers.

One wise institution or company; may actually debug the motives and stick on it; though the culprit may easily link all features with fake data which made people impressed and believe them (unfortunately, not so many people understand this; and they saw what they seen; while the wisdom to debug the motives within fair regulation and law sadly become forgotten).

Remember, they may not give up. They may use other friends name as they found it in the circulation; remember fraud is around and people might be living in 'dejavu' due to life is not easy...

In certain provider you may see similar names, then it sent to you asking password, mother's name etc otherwise they would delete your email account - DON"T believe it: just DELETE the email at once and forget it!
Unfortunately, many people believed what they read and then their emails got 'hijacked'.

Sad but true, the 'straight' persons have more temptations in life..
It is because we are in the lights not in the dark side..; you could see as well as others to you it is opned for everybody within lights..

The people in the dark could not see; however later on slowly they could see others in shadow; but not themselves... No body could help them - only themselves to get out from the 'darkness'..
For us in the lights - God gives us sunshines, blessings and strength everyday to walk and face the world; rewards are waiting for us who work with gooodness for others!
God has not promised flowers everyday in your way; but strength and love in every moment needed.
Let's do what God say this accounted for; be strong and protected..

We have to protect the adolescent and naive girls. Let's tell them through this VOF.
Beware on ICT; and get your protection immediately!
May my writing will be useful

Have a blessed day!
Best wishes,

ES

Emie Zozobrado's picture

Hi Erna!

You are right, of course, sister ... with the amazing advantages of online technology comes myriad forms of disadvantages. It is really our right and our duty to protect ourselves and each other. Scammers, stalkers and psychotics abound and proliferate, particularly in social websites. That is why we need to inform and educate each other. There are already numerous criminal cases that are traced to the internet. Online technology has no body language, no detectors, no safeguards. Even smart people can be duped. Advertisements can really be tempting - because that is what they are made for! Only the power of information, education and communication can stop the devil from wreaking havoc in the internet. We must be aware ... and we must spread the warnings to loved ones, friends ... as much as we can...

Always,
Emie Zozobrado

Erna Surjadi's picture

Go tell the world your stories

Dear Emie and all others - sisters, daughters...

Keep alert...!
I am glad that you agree to the information.

There are also stories about people showed generousity to help.
It is happened in big cities in Indonesia - people just walked out from ATM booth, heard some one reminded her/him that something was left in the booth. When the person came back then the culprit hipnotized him/her to evacuate the account.

One more true story: very famous bank's name in Indonesia which covered almost 80% customers from low to higher ecnomical status. They send you email and say: please go to the link - however actually if we keep carefully check it - there are some mistakes in typing - www.klickxxx.com (it is supposed clickxxx). However many people didnot notice; due to time constraint, due to never imagined it will happen... after the link connected the system strangled your data like a spy... and stole your personal data...

We cannot deny - for some people selling data means money; even from big offices and international organizations!
You are very often become the target of business and capitalism.
Thus, don't believe or trust even if they said you WON the prize for 100 million dollars!!

What we have to do...? DELete it at once!
I am sure many other incidents related to this malpractices.
Go tell the world your stories; and save ourselves and our sisters!

ES

Emie Zozobrado's picture

Hi!

Yes, Erna, that's true! Everyday I receive emails notifying me of my winnings in a lottery or a huge inheritance, or "personal" letters asking assistance to transfer big amounts of money to my account ... well, we should always remember that WHEN IT'S TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE - IT'S NOT GOOD AND IT'S NOT TRUE!!!! Sometimes people become easy preys of scams because of their own greed!

Always,
Emie Zozobrado

Erna Surjadi's picture

Thinking of Shakespeare

I will remember that: it is really a good phrase.
Nothing is too good to be true - then it is not good and not true!

Shakespeare mentioned: I always feel happy - because I dont expect anything from any one.
Expectations are always hurt; life is short so love your life ---- be happy and keep smiling!
Live for yourself and remember this:
before you speak - Listen
before you write - Think
before you spend - Earn
before you pray - Forgive
before you hurt - Feel
before you hate - Love
before you quit - Try
before you die - Live

Shakespeare lived in his era; for me I live with Hope, Faith and Love; however what he mentioned is worthed.
No body is the same; I believe God created each one of us uniquely; we dont have to choose 'turqouise' color to be Shakespeare, if like the red even black why not? God is the Almighty!

Again, I agree - nothing is is too good to be true; but God is always good for everybody believed in Him; this is faith!
I am happy with His Love and keep my Hope for the future - due to He promised!

May GBU
ES

Emie Zozobrado's picture

Thanks!

Thanks, Erna ... it always feels so good to be able to share ... All the best

Always,
Emie Zozobrado

Amel's picture

reminds me of the 'good' ol' days

When I was first hired at age 23, in addition to my ridiculous workload, I was always assigned to be the one to wear a pretty dress and receive guests. Admittedly, it took a while for me to realize that I was being abused because I thought my years at college and my grade would protect me from any kind of gender profiling. And my mind had also been trained to understand 'professional looking' as pretty and groomed (although thank God not as bad as those fair and lovely ads)
I smile now because apparently, with age and experience, you earn the right to look like your own definition of 'professional', be yourself and tell those who have a problem with it to SHOVE OFF.
I really loved reading your take on advertising for pretty girls, MADE MY DAY!

Thanks!
Amel

Emie Zozobrado's picture

Cheers!

Yeah right, Amel ... that's the beauty of hindsight! We laugh at the way we were as we grow older and wiser... Actually, there's always something to celebrate at any age! Did you know that when I was young I felt so bad I am just a pocketsize and I could never be a flight attendant? Until I took my first flight and see for myself what flight attendants do and didn't like it ... we are created for a reason, and destiny is tailor-fit for each one of us!

Always,
Emie Zozobrado

Leelee's picture

This was hilarious post -

This was hilarious post - thank you so much for sharing...still happens today the profiling in the workplace ...

'Harlem: A Dream Deferred' - Langston Hughes
What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun
Or fester like a sore—
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over—
Like a syrupy sweet?

Emie Zozobrado's picture

Thanks!

Hi Leelee! It's really my great pleasure to share a laugh ... with a serious note on the punch, of course! Yes, it happens all the time ... anywhere! And we can't allow this to go on, because we know we are not defined by what others want to make of us ...

Always,
Emie Zozobrado

Nusrat Ara's picture

What a way to put things

What a way to put things across. You have done it so wonderfully. Satire when done well is always outstanding. We want more Emie

Love

Nusrat

Emie Zozobrado's picture

Thanks!

Thanks a lot Nusrat! It always feels good to know you share sentiments with others ... even if those "others" are people you may not even have a chance to meet face to face in your whole lifetime....

Always,
Emie Zozobrado

IvanaG's picture

Dear Emie,

I read and giggled like a small girl; it's so true what you said and nicely put into words. This is something that really concerns me as an existing problem and I can see it all around me in the adds. The worst thing is that young girls grow up with this criteria in their minds and forget what were they priorities after all. Hopefully, we, the women around the world, will show to men that we are not dolls for showing off.
Thanks for this post! This story was needed out there!
Best,
Ivana

Emie Zozobrado's picture

Hi!

Thanks Ivana! I do hope we will not feel shy in putting critical issues forward. Truth hurts, even if it is presented as a joke. But we can change painful realities little by little if we share ....

Always,
Emie Zozobrado

Adelma A.Linatoc's picture

Just to add . . .

Hi Emie,

That's really true my dear on this times now that a lot of competition in applying for a job. If a girl/applicant happens to be hired to a certain position especially as a secretary for sure she will become a secretary without a chair! ! ! you know why? she will be required and asked to sit in the lap of her boss while taking the notes or else if she will not follow his boss' wims she will be asked to "lay down or lay-off?
That's the danger for our daughters for their future applying for a job that we must Oppose.

Emie Zozobrado's picture

Thanks!

It's really sad ...but with such awareness we know we can make a difference now. This cannot go on! We have got to make the men realize that their mothers are women ... and their sisters and daughters ... human beings they must respect and protect!

Always,
Emie Zozobrado

Dear Emie,

I was laughing all the way. Thank you for making me laugh. I needed it. I am now in my late 30s, single with boyfriend :) and still needed plenty of laughter. Surely laughter is the best medicine.

Take care,
Sampy

Emie Zozobrado's picture

Cheers!

Hi Sampy! For career women and independent girls, being single is a privilege! You're right, laughter is the best medicine! When times are hard and you feel sick of something that's beyond diagnosis, it always pays to take a dose of laughter! Of course discrimination is a serious issue, but the burden could be eased out a bit if we speak it out in chorus and laugh it out loud together ... men have been so familiar with our tears and meekness that they take our heavier concerns in a stride. Laughter can carry the message through with not much effort and pain...

Always,
Emie Zozobrado

Sampaguita Flores's picture

Salute!

Dear Emie,

Thanks for the suggestion. I really enjoy reading your articles. You make me smile especially this one.

Thank you,
Sampy

Emie Zozobrado's picture

Cheers!

You're most welcome, sister ...

Always,
Emie Zozobrado

Rachael Maddock-Hughes's picture

Love it!

I LOVE the line "If your decisions and demands prove to be a burden to us – the other half of humanity … where do you think this world is headed for?". I think we need to plaster that over the cribs of our little boys! And tape it to the mirrors that our husbands and fathers use to shave in the morning!

Cheers,

Rachael

"In every human heart there are a few passions that last a lifetime. They're with us from the moment we're born, and nothing can dilute their intensity." Rob Brezny

Emie Zozobrado's picture

Thanks a lot, Rachael!

You're right, Rachael! We have got to remind them NOT to hurt us as often and as much as we can... and tell them so if they did or do. Silence, subservience and tolerance can never solve anything! All the best ...

Always,
Emie O. Zozobrado

Ruth Beedle's picture

You..

You crack me up, Emie! So funny.

I love that tongue so firmly planted in your cheek as you 'respond' to the ad. And, at the same time.... it is sad to think that there are such requirements.

I wonder if men ever feel quite the need to measure up physically? Maybe.

Thanks for the giggle!

Emie Zozobrado's picture

I wonder, too!

But men are not supposed to be flower vases and wall decors, Ruth! If there's ever a requirement for men, surely it does not speak of "pleasing looks"! All the best ....

Ruth Beedle's picture

true enough..... true

true enough..... true enough.....

Fungai Machirori's picture

Fabuloso!

Hahahahaha, well you just have a knack of doing this don't you?! You are a genius of a woman and yes, this makes us a laugh, but the truth it conveys is very startling and clear. We women have shelf lives and expiry dates, at least in this male-dominated world that glorifies the single supple siren!

Well done on this!

from today i live out of my imagination
i am more than my yesterday
tomorrow i plant a new seed
nothing that lies behind easy
nothing that is ahead real
my within is all i have today
*Napo Masheane*

Emie Zozobrado's picture

Thanks Fungai!

Wa ha ha ... I like that, "shelf lives and expiry dates"! Here in my country, a girl's expiry date is measured by the "deci" (the teenage life), followed by the calendar, then the thermometer .... and then life "begins at forty"! And only heaven knows what that means! Men are prouder when they get older because they claim to have been spared the inconveniences of menopause (as if "mid-life/identity crisis" for men is not much worse)! Ah well....

Always,
Emie Zozobrado

Emie Zozobrado's picture

Thanks Fungai!

Wa ha ha ... I like that, "shelf lives and expiry dates"! Here in my country, a girl's expiry date is measured by the "deci" (the teenage life), followed by the calendar, then the thermometer .... and then life "begins at forty"! And only heaven knows what that means! Men are prouder when they get older because they claim to have been spared the inconveniences of menopause (as if "mid-life/identity crisis" for men is not much worse)! Ah well....

Always,
Emie Zozobrado

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