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DADDY, TOUCH THE BONE IN MY BREAST!

I listened attentively to the conversation between my husband and our eight year old daughter this morning before I concluded that my journey into child sexual assault prevention is not by accident, every step of humankind is predestined by God. She was showing her father her budding breast, an experience I had when I left secondary school. My left breast began to bud after I finished my secondary education before I was age fifteen. Therefore it was very strange to see my daughter's budding breast at the age of eight and quite infuriating that she was innocently showing her father.

Prevention of child sexual assault is the sole responsibility of any responsible adult in the community and every child must also learn about Sex education at a tender age since there are age appropriate sexual education trainings. This is to avoid life lonng calamity because the pain of sexual assault begins long after teh physical healing has taken place.

The first step I took in the journey is to ensure that everyone around us knows that we are the sexual abuse people and our chidlren are well educated about this problem mitigating against chidlren and women in our society. But I will want everyone to note here tht most of the time, teachers of sexual abuse forget to inform their chidlren before hean of sudden changes in their body system because we may believe that they have learnt about prevention but how woud they handle tehir body changes?

There was a new research early htis month that says Nigerian girls reach the age of puberty at eight, when I read thsi, I was agitated a bit and instantly, I created a quiet area and time to educate my eight year old girl about Menstruation immeidately forgetting that the breast might bud before menstruation. Gone are the days when we used to have our bath in the rain outside the backyard now things have changed, we should become our girls best friends, direct them in the right path while praying for them at the same time.

We must not be occupied by these mighty/mundane things of the world, eating and living, they may look insurmountable but the future of our girls lie in the way we lay their lives. To build safe and strong girls who would continue what we are building here, we must spare little time to, prune, weed, dress their flowers. A sexually assaulted girl is like eating and drinking unripe fruit while the children are silent. We must not forget that both boys and girls sexually assaulted and they must be protected.

Comments

Sarvina's picture

Nice post!

Hi sister Olutosin,

Thanks for sharing such a wonderful article! I see some girls in my country also have the budding breast in age 8 or 10 too. It is important to educate the young girl about sex education, thus in my country most of parents have never let their daughters learn about sex education because they think sex education is not good for their daughter and they afraid it will affect to their daughter or afraid other people else say somthing not good about their daughter but I think SEX Education is so important to educate the young girl and boy.

Warm Regards,
Sarvina

Regards,

Sarvina from Cambodia
VOF 2011 Correspondent

olutosin's picture

Very Important

Sex Education is essential in every child's' life but I believe there should be a change of name in our local areas. LOL. We are afraid of the reality! A friend once said that Indian government canceled sex education in some state because they do not want to corrupt their children but every billboard and even their statutes are pictures of Naked women wilth dangling breasts.....Why are we shying away from facts.

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

Sharese's picture

Great discussion starter!!

Hey Olutosin,

Long time girlfriend :) Sorry I have been MIA.

That being said- GREAT conversation starter. This is so important. In the US it seems a lot of conservative's apporoach to keeping kids safe from sexual asault/abuse is to IGNORE that these issues go on. I think that you are so right on when you say that we need not ONLY talk to our kids about sexual abuse/assault (good touch, bad touch, etc) but also talk to them about their bodies and sex and sexuality in general- that way we can empower them to protect themeselves, be confident about their bodies and make good choices when it come to consensual sex.

As always, brilliant post. I hope you are well my friend.

In Love,

Sharese

olutosin's picture

CONFIDENT

My dear friend that I can confidently call FRIEND, How are you? I hope you have not forgotten, neglected, abandon, forgotten Me, I know it is easy everywhere...I miss your excellent discussions, hope life is treating you well?
Sex education is very important and must be treated as such! Else we stand to loose all and gain shame.
Please never leave me again. For so long.
Thanks for remembering Us.

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

Sharese's picture

I know :)

I know I went MIA for a while, but don't worry I am back for good! Settling back into Kansas City for good- it is very different from Jamaica, both in good and not so good ways.

Keep the love,

Sharese

olutosin's picture

God and Good Speed

I wish you well and good speed in settling down my dear sister.

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

Deepti's picture

Great post!

Dear Olutosin,

This is a great post! It reminds me of one of the experiences which my aunt had shared with me and my sister. My aunt had told the innocence of a child near her father's home that the child had shown her budding breast to her father, telling her that she felt little pain there. In Nepal also, the situation is the same that people feel shy talking about sex and reproductive health. Anyway, I hope this will come to an end soon.

Good job!

Regards,
Deepti Bista

olutosin's picture

Let us hope so

I want all these to come to an end soon too.

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

vivian's picture

nice info

Sex education is one issue parent tends to shy away from discussing with their children especially at the age of 8. They tends to see it as you want to spoil the child not knowing that they exposure the child to danger when they do not educate them.

Thank you for bringing up this issue and surely we have to start now to educate chidren before they become adolescent.

Cheers

Vivian

''Every woman have a story at every stage of Life''

olutosin's picture

Yes we must

Thank God we are educated about these things..........I will suggest you log in to EVAW End Violence Against Women International...www.evawintl.org, but just google it out and let me know the outcome, if you want to learn more about SEXUAL assault against women....I was trained free of charge about 2 years ago by EVAW and their work and certificate is relevant to our work...
Keep on trying, you are there already.

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

vivian's picture

thank you

Thank you so so much for this information. You are one of those that inspire me on pulse wire. I will check out the site.

Vivian

''Every woman have a story at every stage of Life''

elsietina's picture

Great Post!

Hi Tosin,

Great post and nice work u r doing.

I am currently developing a project on sexual harrassment in Delta State, would like to hear your views and experiences, considering our country has a culture of silence "leave am for God" atitude.

Regards
Elsie Ijorogu-Reed
Founder/CEO
Deltawomen
www.deltawomen.org
ereed@deltawomen.org

CEO/FOUNDER
Deltawomen Ngo
www.deltawomen.org
deltawomen.blogspot.com

olutosin's picture

thanks for stopping by

I love working on prevention of sexual assault my sister I am available anytime. Thanks for the internet.

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

elsietina's picture

Thanks, please send me your

Thanks, please send me your email address mine is ereed@deltawomen.org, i sent you a friend invite on fb, our group is "delta women"

CEO/FOUNDER
Deltawomen Ngo
www.deltawomen.org
deltawomen.blogspot.com

Y's picture

My breasts were budding at

My breasts were budding at age 8, and my menstruation began at age 9. I had no sex education until my male cousin and my older brother began to explore my body. It is a disaster that religions have cut us off from the fact that, underneath our faith is the body of an animal that must be taught everything about our animal instincts before we can know how to channel them to creative endeavors other than procreation.

Yvette

olutosin's picture

Hmn, so true

I always wish that we are able to open our eyes to see the right things at the right time. I hate child molesters :(

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

Y's picture

Sometimes even the young men

Sometimes even the young men don't know that they have no rights to their cousins' and sisters' bodies because they have been kept as ignorant as were their girl cousins and sisters.

Yvette

Y's picture

Sometimes even the young men

Sometimes even the young men don't know that they have no rights to their cousins' and sisters' bodies because they have been kept as ignorant as were their girl cousins and sisters.

Yvette

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