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My Journey back to me

Being on World Pulse has been the most wonderful discovery. Not only hear about the reality of women worldwide through their own words, but also embark in this very interesting journey of self-discovery. It was the first collaborative platform where I feel deeply connected and have such honest discussions with other people about women's issues.

First things first, I had just move to Panama and I was having a little bit of writer's block. I used to have blogs, journals, write essays... And somehow that all had slipped away when I got here. I couldn't find my inspiration, I couldn't figure out what made me tick, I was stuck. I got scared. I thought I was losing me… I know it may seem dramatic, but I was always sure. No matter where I was or how hard things got, I always had me. I was the sure piece of the puzzle. And as long as I had me, I knew things would turn out fine.

I am part of a lot of women networks and newsletters and, in that moment, though one of them - I can't remember which - I heard of Pulse Wire. I like being informed but most the networks and newsletter that I subscribe or am part of is very one dimensional. I never found any that felt like a sisterhood. Some of them are designed as forums; however they became means to showcase your work. I read a lot of theoretical work, I heard about actions but there was no personal engagement. We were names on a screen. I need to connect.

And then, I was here, and there is such a feeling of familiarity and support. There were the actions and the opportunity offers, but most importantly, there was a feeling of community. I read the words, I felt those stories, I began to get involved with the people and surely enough I was inspired again.

I was suddenly not afraid to open my heart and my mind to you all, and being completely honest and outspoken about me and my opinions. Here, there are many hearts beating at one pulse. Getting to know you, hearing your voices, brought me back to me. And for that alone I’m thankful to Pulse Wire.

Comments

Anna Malinovskaya's picture

Dear Natasha

Dear Natasha,

welcome to our online community! I'm glad that World Pulse helped you find yourself again. I like World Pulse a lot and I really enjoy reading other women's journals, but I couldn't explain why until I read your journal - you explained it perfectly! "there is such a feeling of familiarity and support...but most importantly, there was a feeling of community." Very well said!

NatashaLeite's picture

Thanks!

For me, that's all about. We're are a network of support of each other, not only technical, but also emotional.

Thanks for taking the time to read my post and comment, I really appreciate the gesture!

All the best,

Natasha Leite

olutosin's picture

My Fear is gone

My lady dearest, you write as if I narrated my exeperience to you, Once I lived in fear that I developed hypertension at this early age of my life nobody taught me to flee, I ran my feet did not touch groud. I had found solace on Pulsewire, I decided to retire here and enjoy my friends sisters from around the world where I NOW HAVE COOL COOL temper. Imagine the joy of meeting you here, where we trust, love, care and mentor one another

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

olutosin's picture

My Fear is gone

My lady dearest, you write as if I narrated my exeperience to you, Once I lived in fear that I developed hypertension at this early age of my life nobody taught me to flee, I ran my feet did not touch groud. I had found solace on Pulsewire, I decided to retire here and enjoy my friends sisters from around the world where I NOW HAVE COOL COOL temper. Imagine the joy of meeting you here, where we trust, love, care and mentor one another

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

NatashaLeite's picture

Thanks, Olutosin

It's so true! I never feel alone or feel that my truths are not going to be listened because you all hear my truths and I believe yours!

Thanks you so much for having the kindness to read my post and having the consideration to reply it!

All the best,

Natasha Leite

Iffat Gill's picture

Had a very similar experience!

Hello dear,

I had a very similar experience recently when I moved to a new country from Pakistan and was there for a few months. I suffered the exact same fears when i wanted to write and was desperately looking for inspiration to start writing again. The connection I found on this website is amazing. I got my self to write and hope to share more with women writers who are living in much harsh conditions and yet never lose hope!
Best,
Rose.

Iffat Gill

NatashaLeite's picture

YES! That's exactly it!

I'm glad I'm not the only one! Thanks for commenting!

IvanaG's picture

Dear Natasha, I can relate to

Dear Natasha, I can relate to your feelings of being blocked and looking for inspiration so much and as i was reading your post personal feelings started pouring inside me! I am so glad that I found this community, which gives us strength and make us one!
Ivana

NatashaLeite's picture

Ivana

I'm glad you were also able to find yourself. Thank you very much for reading and taking the time to share your thoughts with me, I really appreciated!

All the best,

Natasha Leite

dg.vegas's picture

It so good to know that in

It so good to know that in one way or another we all are down the same road and that your quests are similar to others. It makes the load lighter.

Many blessings,

In lake'ch

NatashaLeite's picture

Thanks DG, for the kind

Thanks DG, for the kind comment and for taking the time to reply. One of the amazing things about this collective space is exactly that, to see that others have share the same experiences and misfortunes and suddenly we don't feel so alone.

All the best,

Natasha Leite

Myrthe's picture

I loved your post, Natasha,

I loved your post, Natasha, and I can relate to some of the things you mentioned so well. I've had some changes in my life in the past six months or so, as a result of which I almost entirely gave up writing. Recently things have quieted down a bit and now I am trying to get my writing skills and writing rhythm back. But it is so hard and scary! I know I have to push through a barrier and I will eventually, but until then I feel strange, like I am missing a piece of myself.

NatashaLeite's picture

Myrthe

I feel like you are my counterpart in Holland/Armenia as I am your counter part in Brazil! We share pretty similar experiences. It is exactly like having an strange person in your body... Like someone else has written in your journal. Things are the same but they feel completely different. Here is a great place to get back to writing, because it forces you to be disciplined about writing (by turning them in a specific date) and by interacting with others we get to practice writing more. So, you get both! I really hope you get our "groove" back and keep on writing!

Myrthe's picture

I feel the connection,

I feel the connection, Natasha! ;-) I can relate to a lot of the things you mention in your posts here on World Pulse. Whenever I read your writing I find myself nodding in agreement.

Wagatwe's picture

I was having a block lately,

I was having a block lately, too. I was on a roll writing days every week and I had suddenly stopped. Good to see a reminder that we're not alone! Thanks for sharing your story.

NatashaLeite's picture

That's the message

Through smaller or bigger problems. We are not alone. I hope you find your writing soon. Thank you for commenting!

All the best,

Sarah Diop's picture

Thank you!

Natasha,

Thank you for sharing. I believe your experience speaks to many of us women, not only losing our sense of self, but need to connect with other women authentically. Keep connecting and writing!

Wishing you many Blessings,

Sarah

I really appreciate the kind comment, and I hope that all of this just show that we face similar problems around the world.

All the best,

Natasha Leite

bougeotte's picture

Greetings from a listener

Natasha,
I am one of the voices of the future listener. It is my job to be your cheerleader and friend as well a coach.
I found your story to be enlightening, and as judged by previous comments many people suffer from self-doubt and writers block. Writing is not an easy endeavor and must be massaged daily as you discovered. However, I found myself searching for details that would give more color to your story. As a writer, especially one who hopes to be a leader, you have a powerful tool at your disposal - the written word. Along with this tool comes all the attributes that will draw the reader in more, compelling them to read on and when done, wish for more.
You have a strong voice and clearly the ability, thus I look forward to watching you grow in your journey to be heard.
Terri

NatashaLeite's picture

Thanks, bougeotte!!

I really do appreciate the feedback! Right now for me it has been about finding the balance of my usual writing to the writing here. And the usual filters of what is too information? When to cut? When to leave it? Which guess are pretty natural for journalists and communicators but I'm not there yet... And I know this is an essay, but I will always cherish constructive criticism, because it helps strengthen the message. That being said, if you could give me some specifics, though here or messaging, it would be great. I know that people sometimes hold it back to not hurt other people's feelings...

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