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To my birth father

The loss you feel makes me sad. It makes me feel worse knowing only I can fill it, but won't. I feel the loss too, and only you could fill it too, but I won't let you. Because I would rather have an empty space than a space filled with verbal assaults, conflict and pain. I thank you for my life, and I'm so sorry that you never really knew how to love.
Your "terrorist loving idiot" daughter.
PS I will leave the door open, just a crack, in case one day you learn

Comments

noreens's picture

your pain

Laughterlove,

So simply put but it grabs at the heart. Your pain shows through the few words that you posted here. I am sorry for your pain. I am sure it's hard to keep the door open, but it's good that you are - even if only a crack. You never know - maybe one day both of your pain will, maybe not heal, but lessen. Wishing you lots of love!

Noreen

laughterlove's picture

Thanks Noreen. I wrote this

Thanks Noreen. I wrote this immediately after I told him I thought it was healthier for both of us that we not try to be in each other's lives. I was struggling with the guilt and sadness for him that he has a daughter that has no interest in knowing him. I do not miss his presence in my life anymore, and yet I feel some sense of obligation towards him.

For all of life is like that race with ups and downs and all. And all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.
“Quit! Give up! You’re beaten!” They still shout in my face. But another voice within me says “GET UP AND WIN THE RACE!” DH Groberg

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