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My story made me strong and bold

As a child, I have a story. As a young person I have another and as a wife another.
It's a childhood experience but the memories are still fresh. I hurt myself so much all these years. I did not voice out to anyone because of fear of being tagged. My childhood story is known to only two people to the best of my knowledge but today am sharing with the world. Thank to World Pulse- for giving me an opportunity to speak. My papa and mama did not know, no member of the family known even as I write now.

After being abused as a child by a family relative. The outcome of it was psychological trauma. I hated men, became afraid and too quiet to talk to anyone. It delayed marriage for me because I never wanted to have anything with any man. I got much relief at 24yrs after I write my first book on healthy living on HIV/AIDS, Care and Support. I gave to a friend to proof read. When he was done, he invited me and the first question he asked was "have I ever been raped". He said it was clear in my book that I have been hurt. He asked for the story and that was the first time I ever talk about it. I felt relieved, better and calm that I have opened up after a long time.

After, I have decided to get married, my health journey started. I discovered a growth and it was fibroid. The suitors were coming and taking to their heels when they discover I had fibroid. Doctor's result was that the sizes were big, you cannot conceive unless you carry out a myometomy.

It cause me varieties of pains - emotional, psychological, physical and medical all as single. Time to made a decision set in and I decided to break the promise of keep sex till after marriage so as to get pregnant. Do you what? I got pregnant with big sizes of fibroid. Medical personnels that handled my case were all astonish at it. But it was God. The period of my pregnancy was life and death. Always in pains, it was a pre term at 8months and did not make it (baby died on the 8th day). After delivery, I was still looking like a 7months pregnant woman. I had no choice that to go for surgery after 6months of delivery. To God be the Glory, the operation was successful. All these as single, thank to my mum, she was there all through encouraging me. One year later after the surgery (this year) I got married not to the father of my baby but someone else who was there from the begining but I never loved him. Today, he is the joy of my life. He makes me happy every new day. Love grow. The father of my baby was AS as i am, so i decided to disengage the relationship. Another area of life empowerment and education ( know your genotype)

"Life is a teacher, the more you live the more you learn". One thing was on my mind when all these was happening, 'I will make it so I can encourage other women cos I know alot will be passing through the same ordeals or even worst. The vunerability of women comes in various ways.

The concern lies in educating women and girls on reproductive health and other health issues. Also to assist girls who have been abused to speak out and get justice in return. A youth friendly center is my plan to reach out to them and my proposed magazine title "About her" which will target every woman - child, young and old.

Comments

olutosin's picture

WHAT DOES NOT KILL US

Dear sister, there is an adage in my place that says what does not kill us makes us stronger, I know many things that people count for evil to us but God will turn them to good. I love your story because I know that very soon you will become a force to be reckon with in your field of endeavor, they should wait for us because we are not dead and very soon, I mean very very soon, if we do not fail to look up, we will get there...loads of love to you.

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

vivian's picture

I will live to declare the goodness of God

thank you tosin,

i live not die but live to declare the goodness of God. To the whole world .............

Vivian

''Every woman have a story at every stage of Life''

Rose Candy's picture

SURVIVOUR EXTRAORDINAIRE

Dear Vivian,
What a story!
You have seen it all, girl, but there is light at the end of the tunnel.
The joy of the Lord is your strength.
Thanks to WorldPulse for this unique opportunity to voice out.
This is just the begining. WATCH OUT, WORLD.
Stay blessed, and put smiles on your face.
You are a survivour.
Rose Candy @ GrandmaRose Foundation

Mothering, Molding and Nurturing children

vivian's picture

you are right

Thank you so much rosy. The Lord was on my side. Getting involve in worldpulse is a great achievement for me.

Vivian

''Every woman have a story at every stage of Life''

Amei's picture

Sharing is caring

Dear Vivian

I am so pround to have met you here :) your strength make me stronger.

I was going to ask? How is your proposed magzine working out. I like the title "About her" and looking forward to read your progress. All the best :-)

A friend
Amei

vivian's picture

Thanks Amie,am so grateful to

Thanks Amie,am so grateful to pulseWire. It has given me the opportunity to sharing my stories and meet new friends like you.

The magazine is a vision I want to use to educate the female gender on health related issues, skills development. Tell their stories. Teach homemaking for women and other global issues. My target is women and girls who thinks that they are nobody, am sure they will feel happy to see their stories publish.

My greatest challenge is procastination. You may help me-keep in touch with me and ask always abt it. Give me a deadline infact that was how I achieved my first book on HIV. Someone was there to keep me on.

Vivian

''Every woman have a story at every stage of Life''

Amei's picture

I am thankful too

You are welcome, Vivian,

I came across Worldplus/pluswire due to my curiosity while browsing through facebook. I was fascinated by the group of women participating and felt much safer to express my thought with people who can understand.

I am not very good myself either procrastination is a huge challenge for me too. I am happy to keep asking you about the magazine. So tell me more about the magazine and the timeline for the first publication.

It will be good to have their stories and definitely it will assist them to release some of emotions too. Good to hear from you. I will keep in touch. Cheers, Amei

Nb: I will upload a photo on my profile when I find out how :-)

vivian's picture

I can see your photo. Good u

I can see your photo. Good u have found it. You can edit ur profile in your account.

Am already learning new things abt web 2.0. Am thinking of developing my own pulse wire, have an interview with them and then develop the story. This is becos the cost of production here is expensive. I will also need working equipment like a personnal laptop and tape recorder which am still hoping to get. That is one of my challenges cos it is not wise and honest to get person work to the office. The magazine will also be nice becos majority of my target audience do not have access to computer and internet. The magazine will excite them. I have already started gathering their stories which is still on paper,but the cost is what I do not have now. Hoping to generate money or get sponorship or funding.

If you think you have an idea of how I can raise fund I will be glad cos my take home pay cannot meet the cost.

Thank you for you willingness to keep me on track.

Love u.

Vivian

''Every woman have a story at every stage of Life''

Amei's picture

Good day :-) Vivian

I managed to upload a picture. I was looking through how I could invite you to be a friend. I could not find the tool in my account.

I am also interested in web 2.0. I will have to explore web 2.0. It would be great to develop a pulse wire unique for you. I like the idea. A personal PC will be a good investment. I am too in the process of getting my own PC. Unfortunately, some people think that all humans now will have easy access to internet. I get sadden when someone naively expresses so. I too have a lot of friends in Maldives living in remote islands who will not have access to internet and have no means to share information or experiences with other women. I understand the importance of a printed magazine for those communities who are not as fortunate as others.

What is do you think will be the cost to print such a magazine? How often do you plan to publish? I have never thought of fund raising to as an option to do something. Yeah! Why not brainstorm and find the possibilities. I do hope you find some means to do so and I can think of some ideas too.

Have a good day and good weekend :-) talk to you soon. Amei

vivian's picture

Am you are exploring web2.0.

Am you are exploring web2.0. It was so for me too intially but with time I got use to the nagivation. I have accepted your quest to be a friend.

Hope you have done your assignment for the week. As regard the magazine, I do not really know the cost but I knwow that it all depend on the quality. If I embark on high quality magazine then I have cut off the low class who are my target. As a start, it will not be more than ten pages and will be monthly. The cost of producing one copy of low quality magazine could be less than $2. The content will include health information like issues like cancer, HIV, STIs will be discussed. Women's stories, home making tips and others.

For the fund raising, I do not really have an idea of how to go about it. Maybe I need to write a letter to some friends for support or something else. Pls do think of an idea too, I will appreciate.

Amie, we are already forming a team for this magazine.

Remain Bless

Vivian

''Every woman have a story at every stage of Life''

tocssfoundation's picture

Dear Vivian, How are you

Dear Vivian,
How are you today?Good I know.
I'm glad you could talk about life lessons, some did not survive the experiences-you are a survivor(step one).
Some survived the experiences but won't talk about it.You know what , you do not overcome conditions or experiences you don't talk about.Once you talk about it/them you move pass them and it/they stop(s) hunting you.(step two)

The trophy ceremony( step three) is when you choose to assist or support others who are going through what you have gone through, then you seize to be a survivor but a heroine and a change maker.
Hurray, this is your trophy, the strenghth of the Lord.(JOY)

Shalom.

vivian's picture

thank you...

Thanks for you logical analysis of my story. It is acceptable and I want to be a hero. Always ready to assist and support others.I have started narrating my stories. I will not stop so that others can be strong in their crisis.

Vivian

''Every woman have a story at every stage of Life''

tocssfoundation's picture

Bold step and good talk.God

Bold step and good talk.God bless and Keep you in Jesus' name.Amen

Shalom.

vivian's picture

Amen and Amen

Amen and Amen

Vivian

''Every woman have a story at every stage of Life''

jadefrank's picture

the journey forward

Dearest Vivian,

Your story is one of great pain, but also of great strength and courage. I am honored to know you, to read your story and to witness these next steps in your journey forward - towards achieving your dreams and bringing strength to others through your example. You are already a hero!

It is such a joy to have you in our community - your words move me to tears!

In friendship and solidarity,
Jade

vivian's picture

Thank you for declaring me.....

It's one thing to run, it's another thing to be a runner. I have explore PulseWire and will like to be a runner for a cause_to touch lives and save lives.

Yestaday, it was pain but today it joy. I thank God for that.

Thank you for declaring me a hero. it is said that Life is funny but I add that it does not made everyone laugh. But if you are strong and bold, you will smile with others and be victorious someday.

Love you all

Vivian

''Every woman have a story at every stage of Life''

vivian's picture

thank you for declaring me....

It's one thing to run, it's another thing to be a runner. I have explore PulseWire and will like to be a runner for a cause_to touch lives and save lives.

Yestaday, it was pain but today it joy. I thank God for that.

Thank you for declaring me a hero. it is said that Life is funny but I add that it does not made everyone laugh. But if you are strong and bold, you will smile with others and be victorious someday.

Love you all

Vivian

''Every woman have a story at every stage of Life''

vivian's picture

thank you Deborah

Thank you Deborah, i knew it was the Grace of God that saw me through. indeed, i am a blessed child that has been my favorite name at workshops ever before all these happening.

Vivian

''Every woman have a story at every stage of Life''

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