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My heroe..


Dear my friends,
That was so nice to read your stories and know more about your heroes.. For me there is no sure criterion to know who is the real heroe. I know that who is joining to your life is a kind of heroe, because to learn something even bad things, make you stonger against the life.. I'm not even sure if we have to fight with life or accept the life how it goes..
There'll be a lot of people in our lifes, they will teach us many things..But the real thing that if you dont want to learn, noone can teach you anything. So from that point my heroe is myself.. Even our perfect parents try to stop you because they just don't want to lose you, try to be with you all the time.. But we know that life is hard and sometimes you have to say good bye to eachother.. I know it's sad but there's no solution.. We think that the biggest problem is our problem, i hope there is a movie about life from past till now then we can realize we all have the same problems, from past till future..
We think that our parents and best friends believe us in any situation.. But the truth is something different.. They can believe and trust you how you believe in yourself and trust yourself.. They just like a mirror.. If you smile to mirror, you'll see a smile.. If you make an angry face to the mirror, you'll see an angry face.. If you make yourself stop in front of a mirror then you'll see there is no movement.. So tell me who is the heroe if you're not a heroe..


nilima's picture


dear Feyza,

Yes u r true until and unless we are determine to go ahead and do something in life, no matter how hard other's try it doesnt work. but just remember those days when we were unaware of the fact that we should be moving ahead, at that time if smbody wdnt hold our hands, was it possible to be in this place. Yes we are the one to bring the change in our life but when we are helpless the one who make us move ahead are the real heroe!

but i admire your feelings of self confidence and determination that is what works in life!!

all the best!

Feyza Papak's picture

My lovely friend, First of

My lovely friend,
First of all, thank you spending time to read and sent a comment :) I just want to see people how they can be strong even there's noone to hold.. You cant have your family and people who you really love with you all the time, sometimes you'll be alone.. Deeply alone.. In that time just look at yourself in mirror and try to smile it's like a magic, suddenly start to feel good.. We're talking about women problems and try to make them stronger.. That's what i try to tell, just be free, you don't need anyone to be happy just be happy with yourself.. Because unfortunately you can stop people to talk but you can't stop what your heart is telling.. Peace with yourself and all the time think about if you want to do, you just can do..


nilima's picture


thanx a lot and same goes to all. lets celebrate the womenhood

marim_smile's picture

Dear friend

Dear friend
I agree with you that you are the hero of your self but you can't be hero without others. and also we help others to be heroes

Feyza Papak's picture

Dear friend, I'm completely

Dear friend,

I'm completely agree with you. That was also one of the thing i was trying to explain. The mirror represents the people who you're with like family, friends.. "and also we help others to be heroes" just like they helped us as show us our face to us.. Thanks for spending time to read and give comment..

with my best wishes..

Lotty's picture

I agree with you to some

I agree with you to some extent and i really enjoyed reading your post.What you said is without doubt the truth.You are the only person who can make yourself happy but just that it is not that easy because human being by nature is a social being and must live with others.Sometimes you just cant ignore what someone else is doing or saying and that is where the problem lies.

Thanks Fayza I enjoyed reading you.


P.O.Box 451, Ofankor
Accra, Ghana

Feyza Papak's picture

Dear Lotty, Thanks for

Dear Lotty,

Thanks for spending your time on my article..Let me tell you something..I went to Denmark in 2005 to be a european union volunteer.By the way i'm not supporting Turkey to be a member of European Union because i know soon the European Union will finish and also they dont want to make us a member, they're just using us to get connection with the other Turkish countries and also make us buffer zone between the other muslim countries. Anyway when i went to Denmark, Noone wanted to be my friend, noone talked to me..I was completely alone..I had a beautiful red flower, diary and radio..That was all i had..Usually i was talking with my beautiful flower and writing on my diary and listening my radio on saturday nights because there was some Turkish people was making programme and playing some Turkish music.. I was listening that musics and closing my eyes and dreaming that i'm walking on Ankara's street and spending time with my family, with my best friends, drinking Turkish tea, enjoying the life what we have in Turkey then crying..After a little time my beautiful flower is dead because i couldnt be able to talk with the people and that's why i was telling every single thing to this flower..And you know, i mean i believe in that flowers can understand what's our feeling..I'm sorry i made it so long..What i was trying to say, yes i know to be alone and try to make yourself happy without anyone is so hard but not impossible..And also listen this because it's so much fun, i stayed there for 9 months never be with any man..Time was going and i start to have some nice friends, but never had boyfriend because you know Danish people have fair complexion and blue,green eyes..These things are not charming for me..I felt like they're all women :) and then my all friend were asking me if i'm not interested in man :) But who cares?? I dont for sure..If they want to think in that way just let them to think..I know who i am..I believe myself..Someone else can be just a frustrating sound so then i can close my ears :) life is like this.. :)

with my best wishes..

Princesskay's picture

True Talk

Dear Fayza,

You have spoken well. First we need to look inward and there is a hero inside of everyone. However, it is only those who unleash that potential that can eb called HEROES!!!

However, they can be village women, educated women, professional women - it doesn't matter. They are change makers!



change is the only inevitable thing

Feyza Papak's picture

Dear Princess, Thanks for

Dear Princess,

Thanks for spending time on my article..Yes i agree with you, being a heroe has not connection with your degree..But for me being a pure heroe belongs just us..But being a enterpreneur heroe belongs to the other people..I hope i could explaing what i tried to explain..

I feel in love with this statement..
"There is no mountain anywhere, your ignorance is the only mountain - Dr. David Oyedepo"

with my best wishes..

HollyTsur's picture

Heroes within ourselves...

Hi Feyza,

Thanks so much for your post. Yes, I agree that we make the ultimate choice in our lives about whether or not we will be heroes to ourselves (and others). It's our approach to adversity that determines whether or not we are heroic. It's our approach to hanging on or letting go that determines our heroism as well.

In this horrible Judas of an economy, I have struggled to find work since March of 2009. My employer laid me off in the midst of a family crisis where my mother was stricken with Alzheimer's and I had to move her into a (very good) care facility, dispose of a lion's share of her possessions, restore her home so that it could be sold, take over her financial affairs, and take my mother to many, many doctor appointments. It was a huge amount of work that took me the bulk my time last summer, but I got through it. A few months after I was laid off from my job, my 27-year old daughter was also laid off. I had to use a good share of my dwindling savings to help her financially. It was very difficult because all this time, I also had to look for work. Work that was nearly impossible to find in this economy. Some days, I would think about very little but how difficult my life had become. Other days, I would become determined to keep trying and stay positive. I would try to think about how lucky I was compared to others who were suffering more. But, when you're struggling, that is so very hard to do.

Remaining positive is so important, yet such a struggle. Recently, I have landed some temporary contract work. These jobs don't provide the long-term income that I'm seeking, but they are at least providing some work, which is a start. My daughter, however, who has a master's degree and great skills and who works very, very hard, is still unemployed. She is considering moving to S. Korea to teach English because friends have told her that there is great demand for English teachers there. On one hand, I am excited for her. This would be a great experience for her. On the other hand, I struggle with the idea of not being able to spend time with her for the duration of the time she is so far away. But, I would never put pressure on her about staying. She needs to work and she needs to feel good about herself. And, having such an experience would be very, very good for her. So, what you said about parents hanging on to their children rang loudly for me. It's important that I give her as much support as I can in her new adventure.

Choice. More than anything else, choice is what we are given in this life. We can choose to wallow in the injustice of our misfortunes. Or we can choose to make the best of our difficulties and move on the best way we can from there.


Feyza Papak's picture

Dear Holly, First of all

Dear Holly,

First of all thanks for spending time on my article..That's so nice that you gave a chance to your daughter to live her life..But for her it was obligatory decision for you too..What i was trying to tell is like,imagine that you and your daughter dont have any financial problems and your daughter will have decision to live in an other country to work also have new friends etc. what will you think? what will you do? will you let her to live what she wants to live? Maybe for your country it's not so hard but believe me for Turkish people it's like a tabu especially for girls..Usually girls cant leave their father's home without marriage..But for your situation there's nothing i can say..Because it has to be like this for you and also for your daughter..I hope i could explain..

with my best wishes..

HollyTsur's picture

Re: Heroes Within Ourselves

Hi Feyza,

Two years ago, my daughter had opportunity to move from Portland, Oregon to San Diego, California. The distance is over 1000 miles (approximately 1600 kilometers) away. Many countries in Europe and Asia are equally far away from each other; so it's quite a long distance to travel. When my daughter told me she wanted to move that far away, I actually paid her airfare and bought her new clothes so that she could interview for a job in San Diego. Then, I helped to pay for her relocation. After she had been living in San Diego for about a year, I helped to pay for her to come home because she learned how terribly expensive it is to live in San Diego and her job did not pay enough to sustain her there. At the time, she probably could have gotten work in Portland, but she had friends in San Diego and really wanted to live there. So, even though I knew that I would miss her terribly, I thought the experience would be good for her. So, when you love someone, I think it is important to support their decision to move away even if it's difficult to let them go off on their own.

It is sad to see that other cultures do not give their young women as much freedom and trust as we often do here in the U.S. I have friends from India and they tell me much the same story as you have regarding taboos for girls. But, if I had made it less easy for my daughter to travel and live on her own far away, she would not have enjoyed all the wonderful adventures that she did. What a shame that would have been for her! But, I understand that other cultures have great concerns about the safety and virginity of their young women. And these customs make it difficult for young women to experience the adventures that young women in America can take advantage of. I have friends from India who tell me similar stories about taboos that they grew up with. However, they also tell me that things are changing in their society. More and more freedoms come their way as people become more educated. Is it this true in Turkey?

Holly Tsur

Feyza Papak's picture

Hey Holly, Thanks for

Hey Holly,
Thanks for telling your story..You're trying so hard to make good things for your child and that's so nice to hear..You have to proud of yourself for real :)
Things are also changing in Turkey too but you know something can't change in short time so you have to wait till you'll have a child then you can give this freedom to her, if you wish..In my case, i really wanted to go to Avustralia but my family told me a lot of excuse which is i know has not so much reality and now i'm still in Turkey and trying to get a job.. And here is so much hard.. I just want to have my own opportinity even i'll suffer i don't care because this decision belongs to me.. I know these people try to protect me but i can't live my life with other people's protection which means i have to learn to protect me by myself.. You know you're their still small child sometimes they don't want to understand we're getting old.. So if i need to fight for my freedom even with my family, i don't care.. Because you can't be with these people everytime.. You need to walk alone on your way..


MOMMY's picture


Feyza i agree with you but to some extent. My mum is my hero cos i got my inspiration from her past mistakes and today i join the struggle because i wanted to change what she couldn't change. I now have a voice and people can listen to me. She is my hero!!!


Feyza Papak's picture

Dear my friend, Thanks for

Dear my friend,

Thanks for spending time on my article..Our mom is like our old version but at least we have a chance to change what we think not good to have as you said so..That's why i'm agree with you :) Thank you my friend..

with my best wishes..

Emily Anyango's picture

you have got it.

Dear Feyza,now you have it,we are heroes on our own personalities.Thank you my sister.
The strength is raising our voice.

ketwangi orphanage and learning center Kisumu Kenya

Feyza Papak's picture

Thank you so much Emily :)

Thank you so much Emily :)

with my best best best wishes :)

monyki's picture

Yes, we can

Nice post. Cheers

Feyza Papak's picture

Thank you my beautiful friend

Thank you my beautiful friend :)

yacsed's picture


Its food for thought.
What about those who always consider themselves failure?
It is a good and educative contribution.


Feyza Papak's picture

We are human being which

We are human being which means that we can make wrongs, we can think and move in a wrong way..But the important thing is to change our way when we realize that we are doing something wrong.. What i am trying to explain is always consider ourself failure is also a wrong way and i think this is the worst! so i suggest that we have to stop thinking like this and try to accept ourself just like who we are..Then we will see how things change in a good way..If you dont love yourself then you cant make people to love you..If you dont trust yourself then you cant make people to trust you..These words has strong connection with my article as you see..

By the way thank you so much for spending time on my article..

with my best wishes..

Feyza Papak

NatashaLeite's picture

Stand on the shoulders of giants

I loved that you had the strength to talk about you, ad how you have to be a hero in order to see that quality in others. Because, we, women, in general, tend to put ourselves in second place. And it sort of comes naturally, which is the scariest part of it all. So we take care of our family and friends and forget about ourselves. What was great about your post it was that reminded me that we have to know ourselves and learn how to love ourselves first. It is like the security drill they do on airplanes. If the air masks fall down you should put the mask, first on yourself, then help others. Because if you're not well, everybody looses.

On the other hand, I strongly believe that there were/are heroes. We have come so far in the women's movement and to be able to be here, talking freely about women's issues with such great people around the world is a proof of the amazing work that so many had done before us. Also, I consider a hero any person who can see over an obstacle in their lives and make the world a little bit better afterward. We all had hardships, but the ability to overcome it and be a better person for it is what makes it a hero for me.

All the best,


Feyza Papak's picture

Thank you so much for

Thank you so much for spending time to read my article and sent such a nice comment..Thank you for understanding me so much clear..What you explain about the air masks is completely true for us..We just like to think about the other people who in our life..Just like now..I came to istanbul to see my boyfriend for just one day and my parents dont even know that i am in istanbul, and he is playing PS..The other people can think about theirself so what about us? we made people all around us..We let them to do what they want to do and we made them think for sure we will be waiting for them anytime..
I am so angry now.....
thanks again..

Feyza Papak

Dannie's picture

Heroes within

hi everyone!
It is very true what you are saying, that each individual is a hero perse, those of us who write that other people especially our mother's simply subordinate ourselves and elevate those we feel they impacted in our lives yet looking closely at ourselves we find that it is our decisions, our choices and above all courage and determination in the face of calamities and adversities that make us who we are, the real true Heroees. we see greatness in others, we dim the 'us', inside our own skins.


"Look out for happiness and you will be happy or else you will make someone happy"

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