Introducing myself and my journal: My search for me
Hi Everyone, I'm Toyin and I'm 32 years old. I live in Ipswich with my partner of 13 years. I was born in Leicestershire, My Mother is English and my Father is Nigerian. I moved to Ipswich to study where I gained a Business Management degree, and I now work for the Civil Service. I would descibe myself as interesting, curious, funny, slightly odd and an all round decent person...I hope ...most of the time.
I realised something today that I spend alot of time seeking validation from others but find it difiicult to validate myself. I was heading into work thinking of the things I wish i could change or the things I wish I had done/hadn't done. I started thinking about what I had done in my life, not what I wish I had done, but what made me the person I am today, what lessons did I learn, what was painful and joyful. By the time I had arrived at work, a clear message came to me. How can I not validate myself? How can I stand here and not feel validated in my life and my history? I found it to be the single most powerful thought I'd had for quite a while. I'm learning to love myself and to respect where I've been, I've spent alot of time beating myself for not conforming to so many things a 32 year old woman should conform to, I'm not married, I don't have children yet, I don't own a house, I don't drive BUT I am .....everything else.