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Every Anarchist Dreams of Lullabies

Every Anarchist Dreams of Lullabies

I'm not a big enough band-aid to re-link two glaciers.
I don't write to the legislature
I have absolutely no trust in government and will show you the docket numbers to explain why, their collected aspiration is to rule while mine is to fly.

I don't print leaflets or pass out pamphlets.
I'm not on the corner of Roosevelt and fifth on Fridays
having shouting contests with the church of Scientology
I'm not going to the rally because crowds scare me.
I stay away from riots because I never met a cop who knew what he was defending.

I'm not working undercover in a sweatshop, factory farm or local brothel for the inside scoop.
I'm not outside the abortion clinic, I'm inside because they offer the cheapest pap smears
I'm not boycotting bottled water, buying a prius or making the ultimate corporate black list.
I don't have cable, so no, I didn't see the news last night and I don't get your American idol jokes.
I don't go on one-week vacations because I will never understand a culture in seven days,
I need to live on their land to understand their ways,
I need to see how they watch the moon before they sow their seeds,
and don't want their flowers draped around my neck
I'm not buying a Rosetta stone just to say hello half-assed
I'd rather close my eyes when they speak and allow my heart the opportunity
to wrap around their language

I'm not on the freeway picking up cigarettes or beer cans
because billboards are false gods
who are not waiting up at night to answer my prayers

you'd like me to tell you the simple solution
there must be something I've caught onto
to impart or share, a single line
like a shot of whiskey meant to warm you instantly
but I'm not writing the manifesto that will make you go plant trees
no sonnet alive will change your mind when you pretend to go green
I do 108 sun salutations a day and still cry myself to sleep
I live in the breath of each holy moment
and sigh over the world from my deepest heart space
I'm still helpless.
I know my fluorescent light bulbs and quick showers
won't change any of this
the hemp organics and antibiotic free fanatics can find another choir
shouting the loudest to disprove the other side is not the same as solution

I'm tired, or exhausted, but the pharmacist calls this fatigue
and with all the prescriptions I've been handed I've built a village
to spare me from baring witness
don't tell me to respect my elders when they are
responsible for raping my mother so long

Don't waste my elementary years teaching me all the wrong songs
this land was never my land
and if we all squished up baby bumble bees the flowers would die
writing in cursive never improved the hue of the sky
I'm still recovering from 25 years of disappointment
I can't tell you where I'll be in five years
I'm busy trying to undo all your suburbian intentions
I'm trucking out to the forest with fists full of your history books,
flags and politics
I'm weeping over my mother but you can just call me an anarchist
because it's the only word that makes sense when you're confronted with impassioned difference

well, every anarchist dreams of lullabies
when they've puffed their last puff and settled in for the night
and it's my kettle that's steeping their dandelion tea
because when we look up at the bare sky
we all dream the same dream

I don't have any answers, I only have poems I've had to stop writing
mid-way because I knew what to say and felt nobody would understand

if you don't know where to begin you can do what I did
play footage of the towers collapsing slowly and on repeat
re-read the constitution and always walk in the opposite direction
of a precinct - they may have used the star for a badge, but they have no concept of constellations

wake in early morning to water a garden
stay away from boxes until you've had tea
never buy things for sale when they are marketing philosophies

I live each day like I'm drenched in kerosene
and everyone I encounter holds a lit match
I run into the forest and climb the tallest tree
hoping it happens fast so once the smoke has settled
the earth can breathe

I'm not interested anymore in saving humanity
2000 years of mythology have ingrained the fact in me
that I am alone
and you can call me a hippy bohemian anarchist
If those are the nouns you know

but I won't be able to hear you over the strings
and melodies leading me away from all of this and back
into the forest to enjoy it before it burns.

Comments

jap21's picture

Hi Mei Li

The name of your journal "Gently Fierce" gives me the hint that inside of you lurs the lust of life at its best. In this sense, I am glad to read your poem and feel the nurturing effect of bubbling, powerful energy striving to become real.

Like bees reaching for flowers everyday, like volcanic lava in the center of the earth, your search for life principles is the unquenchable thirst that will lead you to higher skies in your reconnaissance flights.

Keep us posted on your journey! Loved your poem.

Jacqueline Patiño FundActiva
Tarija - Bolivia
South America
www.jap21.wordpress.com

Tripti's picture

this is great

honestly i was moved by your poem. I'm glad you posted it. Seriously this is a great poem i've ever read. so thank you.
I feel like you are also one hope for a better future.

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