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Fight against forced and child marriages

Dears

The sad stories of women who went into forced marriages and victimized by child marriages are very much pathetic and they live in total mental trauma and suffering throughout their life. A woman of 74 years who is a widow and alive today live her life days in chaos and cry and after the death of her husband only she just realized that she has undergone a traumatic life till then. She has delivered 4 children with different types of mental stamina and difficulties and she could not rare the children to the standards and out of the four two children were suffering with personality disorders and the other two were emotionally and other ways disturbed.

Her husband was negligent and since her marriage she has been ill-treated by the in-laws and her husband. She has been sexually abused several times by her brother-in-laws and other male partners of the family. Her three girls children were abused by their own family members (incest). The three girl children were utterly failed in their matrimonial life and all of them are living in crisis or one or more difficulties. They are not able to take self decisions and they totally and emotionally depend on their husbands for economic needs and livelihood.
naturally they are exploited by the male counterparts and the women live in total suffering throughout the life.
Women need to learn and acquire life skills and made self dependent. They need to enter into matrimonial life only when they understand their self and keeping them to face the battle after the marriage.

Emotions alone can never help the women to face the challenges of life. The courage, the mental maturity, well thinking and logical decision making capacities alone help them for their wellbeing in the society.
It is a forced marriage at the tender age of 14 even she has not completed her school education and at her age of 16 she delivered the first child. She is not able to take up any valid decision at her tender age of 14 and she could not stabilize herself in the matrimonial setup. She has less informed about the life systems and she is not able to run the independent matrimonial home. This is the situation where she has faced sex threats and damages by her own brother –in-laws and she could not express the same to any body including her husband. The mental trauma she was suffering made a permanent injury in her unconscious mind and she lost interest in her life and lived in a condition of solitude. She lost trust on her husband for not protecting her from such abuses and she lead her total life in fear and frustration.

Women are no longer slaves of men and gender justice could be gained by strong voice against such social practices on child marriage and abuses on women. Women are to be treated as human beings and not as an object or a machine. The whole life of the poor lady is lost without any charm and every body has one life and she lost that life. Why women are not raising themselves to voice for such social atrocities on women?

Mrs.Bagirahti Ramanathan

Comments

Carri Pence's picture

Education is Key

Forced marriages can be defined as slavery, and I am happy that you point that out. We need to produce a culture of education, I believe, to change the culture of forced and child marriages. Education creates dependence leading families to accept their daughter as an important entity and it makes women less vulnerable to abuse.

olutosin's picture

NEVER LATE

When I sit to retrospect about all the happenings around these unfortunate girls I feel it is too late to do anything but now I believe that if we start now we can still salvage some of these girls. I visited some NGO's working on child trafficking in India and I decided not to write about the situation . so traumatic that i fel guity is after writing it and nothing is being done about it, or is it the two hospitals in Bagalore that record 2 death of women from dowry death everyday!
WE ARE NOT LATE IF WE CAN START NOW.

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

JaniceW's picture

Forced marriage

As you have pointed out, for many young girls around the world, marriage is not a celebration of joy but the beginning of a nightmare with no end in sight. Unlike "arranged" marriages, in which women are generally free to participate or to decline, in forced marriages "no" is not an option, and often there is emotional pressure and coercion from parents, families, brothers and sisters. They are told they will bring shame on their families if they do not follow through with the marriage, "honour" being a large contributor to the reason young girls stay in these situations.

In 2006, when a 23-year-old Turkish woman divorced the man her parents forced her to wed, her brother shot her in the head three times. These practices are rooted in tradition, but that does not make it acceptable and any form of abuse of women's and girls' rights needs to be stopped, no matter how it is veiled. Forced marriage tells women they aren't human beings, but pieces of property. Let's join hands to raise awareness of this abuse. As Olutosin says, "we can start now!".

dears
I am extemely happy to receieve all your encouraging mails to me sharing your feelings and views on my voice on forced and child marriage and I understand from your emotions that we need to start working actively in educating the women on the age of marriage and stop such eveils in any soceity. Thank you verymuch for your waves and lengths on this issue which has definite role in gender jsutice arround the globe.

Thank you
for women in solidarity organisation
Mrs.Bagirathi Ramanathan

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