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Parents Loving Arms

When I got married at the age of 22, I was so happy. I told myself that I had met a man who would love me for better or worse, in sickness or health, till death did us part.
Sadly, my happiness was short lived. When I was five months pregnant with our first child, troubles started in our marriage. I discovered my then husband was having an affair. I was heartbroken and almost had a miscarriage. After I found out, he apologized and asked for a second chance. Being young and so naïve, I believed his “I will never do it again” words and took him back. For only a few weeks, we seemed happy. He then had another girlfriend, and another, and another. In a short period, I realized that he had a chain of affairs with many different women. He showed me his dark side too soon in the marriage. I then knew it was time for me to pack my bags and move on.
With shame, I went back to my parents. I had barely stayed in marriage for a year and I was back in my parents’ home. In my African culture, it is almost taboo for parents to welcome back a girl child from an abusive marriage. Girls are told that once married, they should stick to the man no matter the circumstances. Even in the face of your husband being unfaithful, the woman is told not to leave a matrimonial home. In my culture, it is almost considered an acceptable norm for a man to cheat. There is even a saying which goes ‘A man’s adultery does not break a home but a woman’s adultery does...”. My parents decided to go against this cultural misnomer and held my hands back in the house. Just as my father gave me into marriage, he was able to hold out his hand to me back into his house.
Soon afterwards, I gave birth to a bouncy baby girl who brought so much joy in my life. It has been two years and I have never reconsidered my decision to leave the abusive relationship.
I am grateful to my parents for holding my hand when I was almost slipping. If they had not done so, I would have had a difficult time dealing with the pain of betrayal whilst pregnant.

Comments

pooza11's picture

i can understand you must

i can understand you must have had a hard time returning to your parents home.Even here in Nepal, It is not considered good when we girls after our marriage return back. A girls home after marriage is her husbands home no matter what.
Fortunately, due to your parents you were able to have a good life with your baby.
Remain happy forever

peace and love
pooza

mumu's picture

hello

thanks. hope you and l can do something to make a better world for the girl child to live in. take care.

pooza11's picture

Yes, we together can do

Yes, we together can do anything.

Pooza

Rebecca Snavely's picture

powerful

What a powerful story of love, for your parents to choose love and to support you despite what your culture supports. It's love like that that can break that culture of acceptance of what is so painful. Your story is full of power - your decision to love yourself enough to leave, to love your child to provide it a safe and loving home, your parents' support and embrace. Thank you for sharing your story to empower others who read it!

Rebecca

mumu's picture

Thanks

Thanks for the comment.

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