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My mother's hands

My mom and Petya (my oldest daughter)

If someone asks me, which part of the human’s body reflects most his soul I would say “The Hands”. I know, because my own hands had changed so much, while becoming from the hands of a girl to the ones of my two baby girls. Today I caress them in the way my mother was doing this to me and my sister….
On the tenth of May, my mother called and said “Do not be scared, but the doctors found something bad in my liver”. From that moment on, the minutes of our life started to slip away. The world had turned up-side down, to make a room for the worst word ever. One day trying to “snap” the happy moments, I was looking at our pictures, as if the love peeking through them could make a spell and save my mom. And then I saw something left hidden from me till then -my mother’s hands. We are always staring at faces on pictures and never see the hands. Now I finally noticed, but may be too late, those invisible till then hands and realized they were holding all the time my whole world. My mom’s hands were with me since the beginning of my life and just now I understand that in them my mother is holding my heart and a whole universe of love and serenity, which I newer saw, because I was all the time looking at somewhere else. My mother’s white hands were holding this way our whole family, together with my baby girls and my husband and they were the real proof that life goes on and we are living it. I suddenly realized that if God now decides to take these hands away with him, we would no longer be stitched to each other as a family, because no one would be there to hold us, and even if we learn how to hold on each other it would still be different. I was so blind and never realized for God’s most special gift for me-my mother’s hands.
Dear God, thank you for saving my mom. Please protect all mothers in the world because the world, created by you has been all the time held up by our mother’s hands.
My mother’s name is Kirilka. She is 56 years old and she lives in Bulgaria.
Dear Mom, Thank you for everything! I love you!

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Thanks for defining hands as glue, keeping together the family. It made me realize that when my mom holds my hands, she holds the memories and the love that keeps us together. But please realize that you are the glue for you daughter and even your mom. Don't doubt that you can't be the 'hands' in your family, no matter what happens to your mom.

SabinaNedkova's picture

Thank you

You are right. Women have to be the glue, especially when it comes to their families. Just, I did not know how hard and such a big responsibility would be this task for me. I am still trying to avoid "me" and to start to become "my daughter's mom". I feel like such an egoist most of the time and do not know what is the right thing to do. But I believe I would learn, no girl is born as a mom.
Thank you for your opinion.
Warm Greetings,

Sabina

Frances Faulkner's picture

Seeing

Dear Sabina,

"We are always staring at faces and never see the hands," is a great reminder to look at the world differently, to try to see things from different perspectives and find different ways to understand, appreciate and move forward in life. Thank you for offering that. Your mother is lucky to have such a thoughtful, observant and loving daughter. I hope the best for you both.

Warmly, Frances

SabinaNedkova's picture

Thank you

Dear Frances,

Thank you so much for your support and warmth. You really felt, waht I wanted to say (despite my english :)))
Thank you for having your open heart for an unknown person from so far away.
Warm regards,
Sabina

jadefrank's picture

a mother's embrace

Dear Sabina,

I was moved by your story, which reminded me to think more clearly about my own mother's position in our family - as holding us all together in unconditional love.

I'm sorry to hear about your mother's illness and I pray that you can feel her strength and embrace wrapped around you for the remaining time with her, and for after she's passed on from this world. Maybe it's your hands now that will take on her role as the "holder" of your family.

In friendship,
Jade

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