Holding Hands, Leads to A Reconnected Heart
A single tiny connection.
His baby finger reaching out in a dark movie theater to connect with my own. Gently and cautiously caressing my soul with the simplicity of two small fingers barely touching one another.
I had given up on connection; I had given up on love, believing that a life of solitude was my destiny. Then out of the darkness a tiny finger, a tiny touch, the simplest holding of hands unleashed a fury of fear and relief. Perhaps I was no longer destined to be alone; perhaps I could share my dreams with someone, anyone else. But the fear of being hurt, of being treated without thought or kindness, what if this lead to those scary and dangerous feelings again?
I was not willing or wanting to be hurt again. I had been hurt, I had let love and connection and Need for connection destroy me once and I did not want to go back there again. But then running away from my feelings had left me not in a safe place but alone with my fear. So could I take the risk? Could I expose the soft underbelly of my heart to a place so full of question?
Sometimes it's better to let go and ride the wave. A single tiny connection was unfurling itself, setting my soul a sail once again, and I must see where the winds of love and hope would take me. My journey back to the world of connection has not been without its storms and trials, but I have discovered lands I never could have believed to be real. Without this connection I would not have been alive, I would not have really lived in this life, but merely existed and gone through the motions. If it had not been for one tiny touch, one single connection, I could not have been allowed to grow into a lifetime of love.
So I am grateful to have taken the risk. I am grateful that He took the risk and reached me through the darkness to reconnect my baby finger to my heart and a life of love.
Connection = Love