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Time to speak!

I come from a small town which is considered to be very safe to live. Children go to school alone, people walk around in the late evening or early morning, without being afraid that something bad can happen to them, like being mugged, attacked or else. Thus, when my friend one day told me she has been raped you can imagine how shocked I was. Both of us were at the age of 15. I was even more surprised when she told me who the guy was, because we both knew him and have been hanging around together in groups. I couldn’t convince her to report him to the police because the shame and disgrace that would fall upon her and her family was more important than anything. Very soon afterwards, at one occasion the same guy offered me a ride back home and of course I refused, but if my friend hasn’t warned me who knows what could have happened. I tried to be as supportive and helpful for her as possible, by discussions and walks and trying to put what happened behind.

This is not an isolated case, it is something that happens very often in many places and the young people, especially girls, should be warned on the potential danger and their rights instead of sticking to some conservative traditions, barriers etc. In the past few years, lots of cases of pedophilia in the rural areas in my country were reported which is truly terrible. Some children were abused for years and sworn to silence. Their childhood has been a suffrage instead of enjoyment and entertainment. Things seem to have had small step forward, but there’s a lot to work on this and on the public awareness on human rights in this area. As a member of few NGOs I am trying to make a difference in my community in certain sensitive areas, but I wish the authorities invest more efforts, capacity and instruments.

I can not stop thinking about my friend’s mischief, but even more on the fact that he guy was free to continue causing troubles to others. The only thing I can be grateful and happy for is that she found the courage and trust to tell me and I truly hope that I was of some condolence in those difficult times.


Carri Pence's picture

Your acknowledgment of sexual

Your acknowledgment of sexual abuse is greatly appreciated and thanks for putting much needed effort into this issue. Like your friend, 73% of rape victims knew the person that raped them. The more voices that speak up about rape and furthermore, if they were sexually violated themselves the more likely justice will be served. Thus, it is important to build a community of safety for women so they are able to tell their stories and it seems like you are doing this. Thanks!

IvanaG's picture

Thank you for the feedback! I

Thank you for the feedback! I recently found about World Pulse and I really like what they are doing here, so hopefully all of us can share experiences and many others would join and speak up.

Rita Banerji's picture

good going

Thank you for speaking out! Here in India too most women even today don't speak out -- because society still continues to blame and persecute not the rapist but the victims!

Rita Banerji

IvanaG's picture

Yes, more women should speak

Yes, more women should speak out, that's the only way of making a positive change. I liked your post "The Bitch" and recently a friend of mine, who has been living and working in India for 6 months, was telling me about the situation there and to be honest it was quite a shock for me. One of the situations he told me was about an English woman, a tourist, who has lost her passport and sent to prison and raped by the whole village on a daily basis, until accidentally found by an English tour visiting the place. The more voices are raised the sooner the justice will be served!

pooza11's picture

Thank you for speaking out

Thank you for raising this issue. It tells us that we should not trust any one in this world. The more people will be aware about this issue, the more prevention people will take and more actions can be taken.

keep raising your voice


Fatima Waziri's picture

Thank you for sharing your

Thank you for sharing your story. I am so sorry about what happened to your friend and like your friend all victims should learn to speak up so that others can learn from their story and be cautious just like you did. Continue to be a supportive friend that you are.

God bless you.


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