Holding Hands: Finding My Voice
by Linda Stamato | May 25, 2010 at 7:08 PM
linda_photo2_.jpgI held my mother’s hand, a lot, and I have stories about events in our lives when I held her hand—very tight. One, in particular, tells me "who she was" and, at least partially, who I am as a result--how (and why) I found my voice, you could say.
When my sister, Karen, and I were quite young, fourth or fifth grade I guess it was, 1949 or 1950, we went to services at our church one Sunday morning and heard the priest ask for volunteers to be altar boys and we thought we'd like to be them so we asked our mother if we could go to the orientation meeting that evening and she said 'yes' and that she would go with us. When we crossed the threshold--holding hands--and saw the gathered (all male) crowd, we were stunned (What was up with us anyway? How come we didn't get altar boys?) My mother pressed on, announced we were interested in participating, much to the priest's obvious chagrin, and, anyway, we were told we couldn't and that was that. We left. We were humiliated; we blamed our mother. “Why did you bring us here? Why did you subject us to this miserable experience?” My mother calmly, but as I remember it, with a strained and profoundly disappointed look on her face, explained that the Roman Catholic Church would change, that it would become more open to us, but for that to happen, people needed to bring attention to the changes that had to be made and to be the instruments for those changes to happen. And, that we were doing just that.
I never forgot that night, neither the arriving, with anticipation, or the grim departure, but there was also an odd and sort of gratifying sense--perhaps it was a sense of promise--too. And, I have to say that there isn't a Sunday that I don't smile and pause to look up as the altar girls execute their tasks during the mass.
What does this story 'say' to me? Change institutions and policies to "do the right thing." Be on the right side of history….and needed institutional change. And do something about it.
Comments
welcome !
Hey,
I am glad to welcome you in this global community world pulse where all women from all the corners of the globe meet and exchange their emotions, feelings, thoughts and hearts. And, I am sure you will simply love making new online friends and exchanges stories. If you have any difficulty exploring this site, then please feel free to ask. If you have any doubt regarding any thing, then we do have different sections and groups where you can just post it and people will respond to it. This way, you will get your answer and will be able to make friends as well.
I hope you will take advantage of all the resources and opportunities provided by world pulse. So looking forward to hear more from you.
Keep writing more stories, keep raising you voice, Keep making new wonderful friends.
Best wishes
pooza
excellent!
Linda,
Great lessons about life, and and the world's ability to change. It is possible, and we must work daily to see it happen. I love this sentence: "I have to say that there isn't a Sunday that I don't smile and pause to look up as the altar girls execute their tasks during the mass." Excellent!
Your mother sounds like a powerful woman! Thanks for sharing this story.
best,
Jody
My post on holding a hand (and getting a life)
Why thank you, Jody, this is a much-appreciated comment. My mother was a powerful woman indeed. Not a day goes by that I don't find an inspiration from something she said or did (or didn't say or do for that matter). Best, Linda
Hey there! Welcome to
Hey there! Welcome to PulseWire!
Its so exciting having you with us, I am sure you will have a fun time with your new online friends and you will find this to be a positive experience. I encourage you to take advantage of the numerous resources and features available through our vibrant online community.
Welcome again to our global community and I look forward to hearing more from you here on PulseWire!
Peace!
Fatima
Dear Linda, You mother has
Dear Linda,
You mother has been a great visionary who believed in changing things by putting in our efforts , our bit. You are really lucky to have such a guide/teacher. thanks for sharing the story.
Love
Nusrat
Thanks so much for your
Thanks so much for your encouraging and much appreciated comment....
Valuable lesson
Hi Linda,
What a valuable lesson. I can see why you carry that memory with you.
Katie
Valuable lessons and appreciated comments
Thank you, Katie, and you too, Nusrat, once again, and all those wonderful Pulsewire voices...It's been a tough 12 hours so it's a great feeling, at day's end, to repair to Pulsewire and find encouraging words and the opportunity to read them over and over! Linda
Oh wow! i enjoyed reading
Oh wow! i enjoyed reading your story. It is amazing how change evolves. I am a catholic and my parish does have alter girls.Your mother was bold back then to even consider her girls being alter boys.
Peace!
Fatima
Fatima's comment
Peace to you, too, Fatima. Thanks so much for giving me a "charge" today in appreciating that special boldness in my mother.... I try to keep her courage in mind, every day! Linda
Hooray to your mother
Wow, what a powerful lesson you learnt that day. I am inspired by your mother's quiet way of effecting change, without antagonism, loud shouts or arguments but a quiet forceful presence that made her views known. You must be very proud of her and I thank you for sharing this story that will no doubt inspire many who do not want to shout from the rooftops but still transform the world in their own quiet way. Best wishes,
Janice
p.s. when responding to a comment, it is best to hit the word "reply" at the bottom of their comment box as that way, they are notified by email when you post a reply.
Janice's welcome comment
Thanks, Janice; you have this just right, I'd say... There are certainly moments when this "quiet way of effecting change" advances the cause and, indeed, is more forceful and effective than the shouting (which is the only choice other times, or so it seems).. Best wishes, to you, too, and, Janice, thank you. Linda