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Just a Touch!

There I lay on the hospital bed; feet suspended and in terrible pain, unable to move. I was suffering from a hip dislocation caused by a motor accident one bright afternoon. My husband sat opposite, staring into space. After the initial ‘how are you’ he seemed to have nothing more to say. That wasn’t even the main problem. What bothered me most was the fact that he never tried to touch me in anyway each time he visited. No hugging, no holding of hands nor kissing. Accepted that he wasn’t a very emotional person, but in such painful circumstances I was expecting him to be a little romantic.

Don’t misunderstand him. It wasn’t that he didn’t love me or cared enough. I could see the pain in his stony eyes and feel his confusion and sense of loss in his disquieting silence. I had been transferred to a better hospital about two hours’ drive from the town where we lived; but he came visiting every weekend religiously, driving all the way for over six weeks now. He was quick to pay all hospital expenses or satisfy my every need. All this was ample prove of love, or was I just trying to convince myself? But for me it didn’t seem to be enough! I craved for just one touch. The feeling or need or desire was inexplicable. What did it matter anyway, whether he touched me or not? Was it because sex was impossible for now? Or was it a cure for an inner loneliness and pain? Or was it just an opportunity I hoped would revolutionize his attitude towards external manifestation of love? Or maybe I was wishing that it would draw us closer, connecting our two hearts again like they once were during the courting era.
In our society public or outward manifestation of love, especially by older couples, was still viewed with some reservations if not misgivings, particularly by men. They always claim to love us without expressing it in words or touch. How can you love someone in your heart only, without letting them know? What else they do we take to be out of a sense of responsibility. Men can thrive on sex without love or emotion; but women thrive on love and emotion even without sex. Men in traditional societies should learn to express their love to make women happier and relationships more sustainable.

Comments

Carri Pence's picture

The simplicity of touch and

The simplicity of touch and how it can help sooth our emotional pains and physical scars is unprecedented. And it takes the romantic feelings when you have to asked to be touched, where it can even make you feel unwanted. But it is obvious that your husband truly loves you and wants the best for you, through his other actions. He might just be confused with what is needed from him. The power of you telling him what you want may hold strong and maybe will just be the key to unlock his lack of physical affection.

pooza11's picture

some men are different

your husband might have tried to supress feelings for you . There are men who cant express their love but loves their wives a lot.I do understand that women feel gud when men shows their love.She feels good when her husband shares every emotions with her.But there are men who hide their emotions and feelings and think that their wife will understand evrything.

According to me, we should let men know what we want. we should tell them that all we need is love and care and nothing else.

Keep writing more.Keep raising your voice

Regards,
pooza

Temple's picture

Get well soon!

My deep desire is to read you again when you are completely renewed and well dear Gladys. I know what it is like to be unable to move, as I have been there not only once, but six times in my life, at different ages.

Through my experience I can tell you that husbands can be educated by us. Take a shot and start educating him by telling him, with kind and loving voice, the way you like to be treated. Say something like: "Honey, come closer, I will give you a kiss" and kiss him for three minutes! It needs to be the greatest kiss you have given, though, hehehe.

Then tell him that you love him very, very much, ask him if he likes your kiss and state how much you have missed his lips. Promise to give him "everything" when you leave your bed, and watch his face change...

Then tell him how much you would appreciate a little touching while you are laying on your bed...

Hugs! Big healing vibes to you my friend!!!

A Temple is a place where you are welcome to come in peace, always.

Rebecca Snavely's picture

Healing touch

Thank you for your story, that reminds us of the many levels and meanings to healing, human touch. I wish you healing and thank you for voicing your needs and desires.

Rebecca

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