Just a Touch!
There I lay on the hospital bed; feet suspended and in terrible pain, unable to move. I was suffering from a hip dislocation caused by a motor accident one bright afternoon. My husband sat opposite, staring into space. After the initial ‘how are you’ he seemed to have nothing more to say. That wasn’t even the main problem. What bothered me most was the fact that he never tried to touch me in anyway each time he visited. No hugging, no holding of hands nor kissing. Accepted that he wasn’t a very emotional person, but in such painful circumstances I was expecting him to be a little romantic.
Don’t misunderstand him. It wasn’t that he didn’t love me or cared enough. I could see the pain in his stony eyes and feel his confusion and sense of loss in his disquieting silence. I had been transferred to a better hospital about two hours’ drive from the town where we lived; but he came visiting every weekend religiously, driving all the way for over six weeks now. He was quick to pay all hospital expenses or satisfy my every need. All this was ample prove of love, or was I just trying to convince myself? But for me it didn’t seem to be enough! I craved for just one touch. The feeling or need or desire was inexplicable. What did it matter anyway, whether he touched me or not? Was it because sex was impossible for now? Or was it a cure for an inner loneliness and pain? Or was it just an opportunity I hoped would revolutionize his attitude towards external manifestation of love? Or maybe I was wishing that it would draw us closer, connecting our two hearts again like they once were during the courting era.
In our society public or outward manifestation of love, especially by older couples, was still viewed with some reservations if not misgivings, particularly by men. They always claim to love us without expressing it in words or touch. How can you love someone in your heart only, without letting them know? What else they do we take to be out of a sense of responsibility. Men can thrive on sex without love or emotion; but women thrive on love and emotion even without sex. Men in traditional societies should learn to express their love to make women happier and relationships more sustainable.