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Voice of a women

In no way, I wanted to study commerce because it is just not of my interest. I had a vision to become a lawyer since childhood, but I forgot that I am a gal and I am restricted from having such dreams. After completing my school, my dad never thought of allowing me to continue my studies. But somehow, due to my mom support and endeavor, I was send to India to complete my +12 level but had to choose the stream preferred by my parents. I again came back to Nepal and wanted to continue my studies, but my dad, as usual, again stopped me from studying. I got aggravated by hearing dialogues “you, are a gal and you should not study much. If you study higher then we will have difficulty finding a guy for you. Your studies are of no value because one day you have to get married and indulge in the household chores. Let your brother study because he is a boy and in future he is the one to take care of us feed us”. Hearing such words bought tears in my eyes. Such judgment made me so weak and was thus I was unable to help my self.

Once again, it was my mom who embraced me and compelled my dad to let me finish my bachelors. All my friends were planning to fly abroad for their graduation, where I, powerless, had to choose to stay back to Nepal to study by keeping the fact in mind that at least I m getting a chance to study. My mom always wanted me to learn as much as possible and had high expectations from me.

The reason my dad was not in my support always bothered me. Just being a girl, I had to forfeit so many things. My entire relatives are still against me and my studies. They still yell at my dad by telling that he shouldn’t have let me study further and it really pinches a lot.

In my family I consider myself to be lucky because my cousins were forced to leave their studies after their schooling. My cousins always come to me and tell me that she always wanted to study further but due to the torture given by her parents they could not continue. Few of my cousins were married as soon as they reached the age of 18 which was so embarrassing. They were forced to marry the guy selected by their parents. And after the marriage it was found that the guy was really a big jerk and my cousin had to live the whole life with full of pain and nothing else.
Pain, sacrifice, tolerance is all what the girls are going through.

Comments

Hey Pooja,
I am sorry to hear the situation of your cousin and at the same time I am glad that you have got opportunities to continue your studies and explore the real world.
Please do not give up your education. I know we have to face alot of challenges in our life but still remeber that education is a power without this everyone will discriminate us like our mothers and aunts.

With Love and Regards
Sunita Basnet

pooza11's picture

thanx for the encouragement

Hey, glad to hear from you.
I will definitely try to overcome all the challenges.
Thank you for the encouraging support.

pooza

Nusrat Ara's picture

Hello Pooja, It is so sad to

Hello Pooja,

It is so sad to hear about the discrimination against girls in your region. Things are the same everywhere. We need to realise the importance of education, which is immaterial whether one goes out to work or not. Your mother realizes this . You are lucky. So make the most of it. And yes keep writing.

Best of luck.

Nusrat

JaniceW's picture

Hooray for your mother

Pooza,
Namaskar. You are indeed fortunate to have a mother who not only encouraged you to follow your dream but was able to persuade your father to support you as well. That is such a rare occurrence in Nepal where wives are not supposed to have opinions. She must be such an inspiration to you not only for her foresight to see the value of an education for you, but also for her strength and courage to stand up to your father in spite of his initial opposition.

I do feel that it must also be difficult for your father as to support you means he must also endure criticism from his family and judgments about his effectiveness as a father. Society is against you all but each of you has taken a stand in your own way and ignored the paths expected of you. Although your father has not always supported your dreams, he came around and allowed you to pursue your education, albeit in Nepal. This was a leap for him too and I am sure was not an easy decision knowing what people would say about him.

Each of you has set about in motion a wave of empowerment in your own small ways, each contributing to a new generation of strong women. I am excited for you Pooza as by seeing how different your cousin's paths are from yours, you will make decisions with your own children that will educate them as to the value of both boys and girls. The boys will grow up to be respectful partners valuing their wives and daughters, while the girls will grow up with strong minds and the knowledge that they are entitled to all the opportunities afforded to men.

By witnessing the opportunities that come your way, your cousins will be encouraged to educate their daughters. You also will have many chances to support your cousins and over time, can educate them on ways they can speak out for themselves. Your leadership can bring about change at the village level, and you can help them create the world we all wish to live in. I hope that you will continue to write and share the stories of the challenges faced by young women in Nepal. Best wishes,
Janice

pooza11's picture

A big support from you all !

yes, Nusrat this is the case in our region but we girls are trying our best to take the advanatge of education. Thanx for reading it and yeah i will definitely try to keep posting and am also looking forward to hear from you the challenges faced by women by overcoming all the obstacles.

Thank you janice and i am really honoured to have such mother . Sometimes, i feel so proud be a part of her.Despite the criticsm of the scociety, i somehow with the support of my mother was able to study, but unfortunately my cousins did not get a chance to. and yes, i will try to help my cousins in all the ways i can.You have really been so inspiring and please feel free to comment and just do not hesitate.

Regards,
pooza

Nelly2.0's picture

Courage

Hi Pooza,
I know it is not easy entertaining such ideas in your society, so I write now to encourage you to excel in your studies. You are already an inspiration to other women around you.

I look forward to hearing more stories from Nepal.

All the best,
Ada

pooza11's picture

Thank you

yes Sure Nelly,
i will try to update stories. well to know more details about Nepal you can view Khusbu's journal and the group falchas. I am sure you will definitely get to know a lot about Nepal.

Peace,
Pooza

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