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Agonizing Struggle of Women Existence "A Silent Rope"

In many parts of the world, women are supposed to be burdens; they are neglected by societies, deprived from their rights and exploited by men. The majority of them do not have a voice for what they need. Most of the people think that women have less power and perceptive. They are not physically and mentally strong enough like men.
I am revealing my own family history in a small village in the 20th century. It is a tragic story of my aunt, who was the victim of social commentary. Even though I was not present at that time, I have an invisible vision in my mind because whenever, my mother used to tell the story I felt like being present during the time, my mother almost told me that during the particular time period, women had to lead lives without freedom. They led lives like inmates within four walls. My aunt had married in a family where women were bounded by the family rules and traditions, which made her life tender and distressing. After passing years, she became pregnant, and gave birth a girl child. However, the birth of the girl child was met with less fanfare. No one in her family was in high spirits at all to celebrate the moment. My aunt’s affection as a mother made her happy and proud to be a mother, but her husband made her target of torturing, beating and threatening. She was being tortured not only by her husband but also her mother-is- law, who always treated her as a slave. The most startling thing for me was when her husband refused the child and disclaimed to accept the daughter as his own child. Her husband accused her that she had a private and secret life with another man, and the girl child is the result of their hatred relationship. She felt so ashamed that she couldn’t say anything in support of her being blameless and proved the false accusation of her husband. Finally, the most shocking news of her fatality brought up to her family. However, no one knew actually what happened to her.
She died. No one in her family tried to figure out what actually happened to her. Had she really committed suicide, or her offender husband killed her or forced her to die?
She tried to live a peaceful life with her child to give all kinds of happiness to the child. As like as a mother she had a dream to see her child’s going to school, playing with toys and eagerly awaited to hear calling her “Maa” (mother). However, her agonizing struggle for existence was not exist at all and did not give support to live a serene life. She had to die to breathe in a unchain world which is free from agonizing struggle and liberate from fighting every moments with her destiny. Even though it was a tragic family tale during a particular time period, discriminations against women still prevails in my society. The description of my aunt’s life does not only mean a calamitous of her existence, it is also a social commentary about women’s hardships within the society where I grew up. During the time period, no one in her family talked about why she died; everyone on her family remained in silence. Approximately after 50 years I try to break the silence within my family. Even if my aunt’s did not get the justice, even if she had committed suicide or killed, women can learn through her death that being silent can devastate their lives in to termination like my aunt’s. Women should not forget about their rights and values. They should raise their voices against inequality and injustice.
In the prisons, prisons have to endure the reprimands for being criminals; however, without involving in any crimes, most of the women lead lives like prisoners bounded within four walls, and the society usher them to the hell of death.

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olutosin's picture

My Pastor's Question

This is a moving story my friend and it reminds me of a conversation I had with my pastor on Sunday, you will not believe that he asked if I would love to come back to this world again as a woman, and I ANSWERED IN THE AFFIRMATIVE!. Yes I will love to be a woman again if there is another world.
This really brings to mind that even men always think that women hate being women and I ASKED HIM WHY SUCH A QUESTION WHICH WAS TOTALLY UNRELATED TO THE ISSUES AT HAND THEN? Do we really love being women? do we hate ourselves the way these ones hate us? NO! That is why we are here to change the course of history and put women in their rightful position.
This is the story everywhere, if it i not killing by honor or honor killing, it is secret killing and we continue to think about those agonizing women and agonizing moments. Do you know that some women are somewhere now, crying secretly, in bondage, psychological bondage or physical. Women are strong, powerful and beautiful, I will always come as a woman will never trade myself for anything again.

You are a good woman and will soon become champion for our race, do not forget that everyday, a girl, a woman is somewhere, powerless and screaming, that voice needs yours for resonance. Yesterday, as usual I was researching on child sexual abuse and I read about those young girls from Nepal, India, i read about love146, I wept like a baby, weeping is one of my vices, it is killing me now.
I WONDER WHAT WE CAN DO FOR THOSE ONES, My personal assistant did not sleep throughout the night, she is here too, Olabisi. how can we liberate these ones too. In Nigeria, women are afraid to deliver girls because of security, sexual violence, teenage pregnancy etc. W

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

Arpita Palit's picture

A great inspiration for me

I am really happy to hear from you that we also can do something which will help us to cut the barricades of inequality. Thanks again to give such an inspiration to me. I also have seen women sufferings and enduring the injustice from societies, I also can hear women screaming for freedom. That's why, my aim in my life to free women from the misery.
Arpita

olutosin's picture

My Pastor's Question

This is a moving story my friend and it reminds me of a conversation I had with my pastor on Sunday, you will not believe that he asked if I would love to come back to this world again as a woman, and I ANSWERED IN THE AFFIRMATIVE!. Yes I will love to be a woman again if there is another world.
This really brings to mind that even men always think that women hate being women and I ASKED HIM WHY SUCH A QUESTION WHICH WAS TOTALLY UNRELATED TO THE ISSUES AT HAND THEN? Do we really love being women? do we hate ourselves the way these ones hate us? NO! That is why we are here to change the course of history and put women in their rightful position.
This is the story everywhere, if it i not killing by honor or honor killing, it is secret killing and we continue to think about those agonizing women and agonizing moments. Do you know that some women are somewhere now, crying secretly, in bondage, psychological bondage or physical. Women are strong, powerful and beautiful, I will always come as a woman will never trade myself for anything again.

You are a good woman and will soon become champion for our race, do not forget that everyday, a girl, a woman is somewhere, powerless and screaming, that voice needs yours for resonance. Yesterday, as usual I was researching on child sexual abuse and I read about those young girls from Nepal, India, i read about love146, I wept like a baby, weeping is one of my vices, it is killing me now.
I WONDER WHAT WE CAN DO FOR THOSE ONES, My personal assistant did not sleep throughout the night, she is here too, Olabisi. how can we liberate these ones too. In Nigeria, women are afraid to deliver girls because of security, sexual violence, teenage pregnancy etc. W

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

olutosin's picture

WHAT CAN WE DO?

Last year on Worldpulse, in response to someone's comment, I decided to begin rigorous work on child sexual abuse and I have never looked back, you can do something too!!!!!!!!! May God help us all......

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https:

Umme Mahbuba's picture

Depressing

Hi Arpita,
Thank you for sharing this story with us. It is not a new story or scenario in Bangladesh. Everyday when ever we open the newspaper we see at least one incident like this. I agree with Olutosin as we have to do something against it. This is not the only story of you family there are many families in Bangladesh where women are still suffering. So, let me know if you have any idea to solve this problem, I will be always beside you to help my best.

Thank you,
Umme.

JaniceW's picture

Tragic

Alas, as Umme and Olutosin have stated, this is not uncommon in many regions of the world. So, what can we as individuals do about it?

As women, as free thinkers, as compassionate and empathetic beings, we need to let our sisters know they have someone to turn to if they are in pain, if they are suffering. Often the silence exists because a support system is not in place and the victim feels no-one will listen to her story. As Olutosin says "...some women are somewhere now, crying secretly, in bondage, psychological bondage or physical." Let us open the doors of compassion and friendship so that they do not need to cry alone, in secret. Let us pierce the veil of blame and let them know that they will not be judged. Knowing someone cares can sometimes be the tipping point between staying in an abusive situation and mustering the strength to leave it.

Unfortunately, helping our sisters often takes a lot more than this simple gesture but it is an open door and open doors can often lead to so much more. In friendship,
Janice

Kim Crane's picture

breaking silence

Dear Arpita,

Such a sad story. For me, the most heartbreaking part of your story is the part when you say "No one in her family tried to figure out what actually happened to her." It is horrifying that so many women die in this world because they lack power, legal backing, community support, and voice to stand up for themselves. It makes me sick to my stomach to think that women also die because those who do have the power to stop abuse often remain quiet. I'm sure your aunt would be proud of you for keeping alive her memory and for refusing to let her death disappear in shameful silence. May we all be inspired by your story to speak out against injustice and support each other in finding a way to light and healing, using our voices to prevent abuse and support survivors. It must have been painful to share a story involving people so close to you. Thank you for sharing.

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