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A Silent Victim

by Zoya | January 14, 2010 at 5:01 AM

Zoya

Freedom To THINK, Freedom To WRITE, Freedom To FLY

Tags:

Sexual harassment

In India One in every four girl is a victim of sexual harassment not at work or public place but at home. I can say this out of my own experience. I am 26 today and in 26 years for the first time i am sharing my self thanks to world pulse. I belong to middle class well to do family three elder brothers i am the youngest, educated in convent school in Himalayas, competed graduation and Post Graduation from Central university. I don't remember the day and age since when my real elder brother has been sexually exploiting me. He is the eldest and my parents love him like any thing and i hate him like anything i remember the says and nights when i have run away from home for a while just to keep my self away from his reach, i remember how afraid i was when my mother left me at home when she went for shopping, i remember the noon hours i have spent standing outside home just to wait for some one to come back home and i remember all the tears that i have silently shed on pillow when every one went off to sleep i remember every thing yet i do not have guts to share this with my family. Today its been 7 years that i am away from my family do not go home even on vocations hardly talk to anyone.

Slowly i lost touch with every one and became introvert lost confidence in myself and i am so scared to do things that i always want to do. I know what my class mates are doing i can do ten time better then them but have no confidence even to talk to them may be because i have never shared my self with any one and may be through world pulse i will gain my confidence and do well in life just for myself.

I want to open my wings and fly,i want to walk as far as i can, want to love none but myself. Come out all you women out their and do your best and for others but for your self. If their is any one like me a silent victim do not stay quite don't be introvert write, share, discuss, communicate and live your heart its chance for me may be for you as well.

So all the girls out their pull up your socks, help each other and tell the world we are not the losers.

Comments

Zoya,

Your story saddens me. My heart goes to you... reaching across oceans and mountains to embrace your strong spirit and beautiful, silenced soul. I want to scream and shake the world to make this kind of abuse stop.

Your bravery moves me. Your courage to reach out to this global community and speak up for yourself and against the atrocities of your abuser. I can feel your wings spreading and we are here to listen to your voice, to embrace your spirit and help lift you to fly - as well as catch you if you fall.

This is the first step - a huge step - in your journey towards healing and empowering yourself to BE the vision of your true self. To gain the confidence to show your classmates how smart you are and to lead the girls in your community and throughout the world to be agents of change and make this violence against women STOP.

You're here Zoya - you are home. You've found us and we have found you. No one here will hurt you and we will only help you rise.

Together we will make a journey of empowerment. You will empower yourself, but you will also empower us through your story and through your courage.

I'd like to introduce you to some women in our community who can offer expertise, friendship and support. Please click on their profile link, and reach out to them by sending a private message or commenting on their journals. These women are friends of mine and you can trust them:

Busayo
My dear Nigerian friend who is a guidance counselor and has helped many many young women at her university who are victims of sexual violence. She's also building an Inspiration Center in her home town to empower women.
http://www.worldpulse.com/user/1463

Olutosin
Another Nigerian friend who is a strong advocate for ending gender violence. She's also a poet and I find her poetry helps and inspires me through uncertain times.
http://www.worldpulse.com/user/1037

Jackie
My Bolivian friend who is like a second mother to many young women in our community.
http://www.worldpulse.com/user/1390

Sunita
A young woman from Nepal who is a leader and a beautiful soul.
http://www.worldpulse.com/user/1767

Sophie
My Kenyan friend who works to empower young women every day!
http://www.worldpulse.com/user/788

That should get you started making friends! And here are some people whose lives are dedicated to helping women like you:

Sat Tara Kaur Khalsa
Founder/Director, Women's Global Forum
http://www.worldpulse.com/user/328

Rachel Erwin
Clinical Director of Mental Health Services, The SAGE Project
http://www.worldpulse.com/user/2882

Andrea Powell
Executive Director, FAIR Fund
http://www.worldpulse.com/user/2585

Joy Nwabudike
Sufficient Grace For Women
http://www.worldpulse.com/user/3357

And please reach out to me if you need any help in understand PulseWire, finding support or just want to talk.

Love,
Jade

Online Community Manager
World Pulse

Zoya,
My heart broke when I read your story and I applaud your courage to finally speak out about this tragic episode in your life. I can only imagine your fear every day knowing what might happen and how you had to do what was necessary to prevent further harm. By speaking out here in PulseWire, you are not alone and do not have to shoulder the burden of this assault on your life on your own. We have a number of members whom our PulseWire Online Community Manager, Jade Fank, will connect you with – women who either work in the field of domestic and sexual violence, or were in a similar situation as yourself.

I also encourage you to reach out to other members in friendship. You will find encouragement and support on PulseWire that will be a good first step towards healing. Having someone to talk to about how you are feeling may help you to deal with the emotions you are experiencing, and can also help in making you feel less isolated. Recovery does take time but you have taken those first important steps to developing your sense of self-value again and that is such a powerful move towards acknowledging how beautiful you are and that you can regain control over your life.

I am so proud of you as I know that talking about your assault is not easy. But you have so courageously opened up your wings and on the shoulders of your sisters on PulseWire, I know you will fly. I can't wait to see the true Zoya revealed in all your radiance and beauty that has been tragically hidden away up till now. My heart and thoughts are with you, dearest Zoya and I thank you for not only sharing your story but reaching out to others who may have suffered as you have. In spirited sisterhood and admiration, with love,
Janice

Dear Zoya,

You are at the right place. Talking here to others can do u a lot of good. Come out with what you feel. Also everyone is unique. you are also . So start beileving in yourself first. It's not your fault. What you have to think now is how to heal yourself.

I just recommend u read this . It might help you and u mind find a way.

http://tehelka.com/story_main42.asp?filename=hub150809personalhistories.asp

We are all here for you. Just remember you are not alone.

Lots of Love

Nusrat

Zoya

After reading your touching words... I admire you; your soul has the courage to write and share and in your sharing you help people out here. This is the first step in reaching a peace of mind.. in looking for your peace and have balance with your emotions... it is a long journey and your courage and your desire to overcome your situation will lead you to find the light that is in you.

I give you through these lines a big sister hug. You are not alone and I am going to pray for you.

Keep writing and if you feel you want to talk just reach me. I am here to listen and give you my support.

Love

Ingadia

WOMEN'S RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS

Dear Zoya,
I applaud you for the courage you have taken in moving your life forward. Sharing your story here with all of us, is a bold first step to your healing and recovery.
I hope you will take advantage of the wonderful support PulseWire is able to give you and the wonderful women that Jade has connected you with.
You are on your way to opening your wings to fly,
Many blessings of health, love, laughter and friendship on your journey
Tina

Dear Zoya,

You made my day!!!!!!!!!!, that is all I can say, you are a strong, courageous and powerful crusader for sexually abused ones NOW, do not keep silent, keep on speaking, the silence is not strange but we must break it else the loop continues, WE ALL ARE SURVIVORS, yes, at least we have survived one abuse or the other and we are here as the Oracle, we are a mount heap of women who are are saying enough is enough, from Rwanda to Haiti,
TODAY, WE HAVE DECIDED TO GATHER UP AND LIFT YOU UP ON HIGH, IT IS YOUR TURN TO SAY ENOUGH IS ENOUGH AND WE HAVE JOINED YOU, DO NOT RELENT, START FROM WHERE YOU ARE NOW BECAUSE, THAT CHILD LOOKING AT YOU NOW IS BEING ABUSED BY A CLOSE RELATION AND WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO SPEAK FOR HER.

We made a mistake by keeping silent for so long but today, We are talking.

Thanks so much and do not forget that we are here for one another, we are one happy family, WHO MUST ALWAYS COME HOME EVERYDAY TO CHECK ON ONE ANOTHER, THE HAPPY HOME IS WORLDPULSE.
WELCOME HOME!

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale
Kanthari 2013 Set
Global Change Leader (COADY 2013)
Founder/Project Coordinator
Star of Hope Transformation Centre
512 Road
F Close
Festac Town
Lagos-Nigeria

https://www.facebook.com/olu

This is a great act of courage!!! To speak out...
My friends share the same story but they are still not able to share it with anyone.
I believe that you can be the voice for others!!!

You have stepped the barrier - and I am thankful to you for that!!!

With respect,
Victoria

Victoria Vorosciuc
Project Coordinator
"Empowering women to participate
in community life"
WorldPulse Media Corresspondent

i am so greatful to have read your post, since i feel so represented. i think i and many other girls have been grown up to be quite people who cannot speak out, and i think that way men take advantage of us. thank you for speaking up and giving us all the power to speak out. i wrote a poem in the Sister Namibia magazine, in the December issue. it is about speaking out. i hope if you read it you get more power. please visit the Sister Namibia website, WWW.sisternamibia.org you will find my poem, on page 37. enjoy it, and have fun around the whole magazine and the website because it is all about women's empowerment. :-)

much love

Justina

feminist is fun!