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I have never...

I have never really expected so much from life. A simple apartment where I can sleep and food has always been more than enough for me. Sometimes, when I have wanted a little more, it has always been a nice book to read, a little sunshine, sometimes a little snow, a smile from my neighbour, seeing children playing or hear the birds singing. I have learned the hard way that these things are luxury, and yet I say: "When I have wanted A LITTLE MORE". A nice book to read, a little sunshine, a little snow, a smile from my neighbour, seeing children playing or hearing the birds singing is not expecting a little more from life! For many people around the world, these things are luxury, they are too high expectations from life. So I am ashamed! I am ashamed to say that I have never really wanted too much from life! I should say that I want too much!
There was a time when I lost everything as a refugee. That is when I wanted "a little". I just wanted a place to sleep and some food to eat. So what is happening to me? Why am I saying that I have never really wanted so much from life? I don´t know, I don´t have the answer to this question! But I know that I am sad, very sad. I am sad for those who are sick, those who are hurting, those who are crying, those who are lost, those who are homeless, those who are weak. I am also sad because I have to fake a smile and wish my neighbours "Happy Holidays". I have to fake a smile when all I really want to do is cry. I remember the time when there were no more holidays for me and now I am so fortunate to be able to celebrate holidays. But I do not really celebrate, not with all my heart because I know that so many people are dying in lack of food as I write this, so many mothers are holding their hungry children for the last time knowing that they will have to say goodbye to them and bury them. And then I look through the window and see my neighbour throwing garbage. Her bag is filled with the rests of food from yesterday because it is not good enough to eat today! Or the stores which throw away the leftovers! Or I see myself now, from a distance saying that I do not want much from life. And that is why I am so ashamed of myself now when I am on the safe side and have survived the war and this feeling that I am so fortunate keeps popping up, but then again I claim that I don´t expect much from life. And this is all very confusing to me, it is crazy. I will try to do as much as I can but I know that it is not enough! It is never enough, no matter what we do we should remember that it is not enough and that we can always do more. And maybe it is only then that we can relax and convince ourselves that we have at least tried, but yet we should be aware of the fact that it is not enough, it is never enough!

Comments

JaniceW's picture

How do we define enough?

Drita, you stir me with your insight, compassion, empathy and sense of self. I can imagine that you are confused especially during this time of mass consumption and commercialism, while at least 80% of humanity lives on less than $10 a day. How do we define enough, in the context of "are we doing enough?" A tough question that looks at conscience as much as resources. There will always be people in need of assistance and there will always be people who have less than you. But I think you need to ask yourself, given what you have and what you have overcome, what are you doing to give back?

I see this amazing woman before me who has overcome adversity and many obstacles in life. The fact that you are even questioning your contributions to the world is indicative of your compassion. There are so many things that you do (that you are not even aware of) that contribute to the well-being of others. Your work at the U.N help so many; many whom you do not have direct contact with and therefore you do not see the empowerment they receive because of your actions, the rights they now possess because of something you wrote, the justice that is served because you took a stand, the improved lives because of the policies that have been changed as a result of your efforts. The fact that you have chosen a career that serves humanity reflects your desire to do more. You say you do not want much but you want to transform the world and every choice you have made contributes to that. Your family chose to leave a country of oppression but instead of living quietly in Sweden, you choose to speak out for your fellow refugees and for those left behind. You have chosen to stand up for the rights of others as you know first-hand what it is to be without.

So, in this holiday season, you may ask if you are doing enough but also ask yourself "how many lives have my actions impacted?" I think when you hear the answer you will no longer be sad but will feel hopeful. All it takes is more people to think like you to transform the world for the positive and by sharing your thoughts, you have prompted others to consider that same question and you may be surprised by what will result from that.

Thank you for making us all consider our contributions to the world. Wishing you peace and joy over this holiday season.
Janice

jadefrank's picture

defining luxury

Hi Drita,

Thank you for reminding us that although many of us have much to be thankful for this holiday season... there are so many people who are suffering due to malnutrition, natural disasters, persecution, war, disease... and the list goes on. While we may want "things" for ourselves like listening to a favorite CD, drinking a glass of wine or curling up with a good book... these are indeed luxuries. You remind me how important it is each day to recognize these luxuries and continue to advocate for human rights, peace and development so that others in this world can begin to enjoy some of these luxuries. Luxuries which seem like not much for some, but are unthinkable indulgences for others. Because basic shelter, food and healthcare shouldn't be luxuries, but human rights enjoyed by all.

Peace to you Drita and lots of love,
Jade

Drita_Bajrami's picture

Thank you!

Thank you for those encouraging words, for understanding, for reminding me that we cannot help anyone by getting depressed about things, at contrary we should be strong and do our best and maybe that is enough!

DRITA

Victoria Vorosciuc's picture

You care!!!

Great impact comes from small steps we make. Sometimes life gives us opportunities and we don't see them, because we are too comfortable and warm and that makes us feel good and we become selfish. Then we fall into depression. Then we consider life boring... Getting out of this shelter we actually wake up and try to walk in other's shoes, or we ourselves get into days of troubles that motivate us to act, fight for the better, help the ones in the simmilar situation. Than can be called the wheel of life. Great that you are determined to help others and you are aknowledged with the outdoor situation. Means that you care!!! And that is a great success!!!

Thank you!

Vic

Victoria Vorosciuc
Project Coordinator
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