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Same standards for Gender

Once Mahatma Gandhi had says “If only the women of the World came together they could display such heroic non-violence as to kick away the Atom Bomb like a mere ball. If the Women of Asia wake up they will dazzle the world. My experiment in non-violence would be instantly successful if I could secure Women's help.”

However, in Nepal, women are ignored in every sectors. Men need women when they want and decide what to do? Are women’s body goods or material to decide by someone else? Don’t we have any choice even in our own body? We, women, should be more sensible, and “she should be faithful to only one man.” She needs to be careful in every step of her lives and control herself no matter of her choices.

Being a woman, she should be available to provide sexual service whenever her husband wants. From the time we marry someone, we are under the command of our husband without considering any of our desired and interest. Being a woman, we should have a sexual relation only to have children rather than sexual satisfaction. On the other hand, it does not apply to men; they are born to use the women’s body.

Besides sexual satisfaction, if we, women, cannot give birth to a child, we aren’t consider as a social beings due to several reasons. In this case, naturally, we are infertile and the isolation of our community makes our life heavy. Who are with us to understand if our husbands ignore us? What’s the definition of social beings? Why we, women, have to give birth to a child. In our society, children are needed to lean on and get help when we are unable to work. We must obey our husbands because it’s the traditional vision of our society. Here, we didn’t mean to say that we, women, should disobey our husbands but we should be able to questioned and argue with our husbands when we are ignored and discriminate us.

In Nepal especially in rural area, Nepalese women are involved in domestic work that is unpaid where we, women, worked almost 19 hours (4am-11pm) in a day, with very little support from family members, caring our children and family members. However, only men works are counted and paid in the country. Thus, we, women, are ignored most of the time in our lives. Even we educated daughters ignored and discriminated our mothers.

For instance, when someone asked us about of parents’ occupations, we smiled and replied, “my father is a…… and be proud of ourselves even when our fathers are farmer.” But, when it comes to our mothers, we hesitate to talk and finally we answer back “My mother does nothing, she stayed in home and is a house wife.” IS it fair to say, “My mother does nothing,” who worked almost 19 hours, taking care of us and forgetting her own desired and dream. Can we scarify our dream and desired for our family happiness/ others? We all need to think.

The same standard should apply to both men and women. We, the women, are human beings so we should have equal to men.

Comments

Emily Garcia's picture

reflections on your entry...

Thank you, Sunita, for sharing these thoughts. I agree that is unfair to say that a house wife mother does nothing (especially one who works from before sunrise to well after sun down) and am sad that her work is so undervalued in Nepal and the world over.

My own mother was a stay-at-home mom for much of my life, and I am grateful she was always there to meet the needs of her children and to offer them much needed support and care. But I remember hesitating and feeling slightly embarrased as well before answering when asked that she had no occupation.

Recently, I met one Nepalese woman when I volunteered on a farm in the northern mountains of Italy. She and her husband worked and lived on this farm owned by an Italian women. Ghita was the first up in the morning, worked alongside her husband on the farm during the day and was always the last one to bed after cleaning up after the dinner she had prepared. I offered to help her clean up each night, but after my own 10 hours of work on the farm each day, part of me hoped she would refuse my help so I could go to bed. I just couldn't imagine working so much each and every day as she did/does and yet I know she is not alone in her toiling.

Thank you again for speaking out and raising our awareness of the many injustices women face in your country.

Warmest regards,

Emily

Emily Garcia
World Pulse Online Community Lead

sunita.basnet's picture

Thank you

Dear Emily,

Thank you so much for your reflection. I am glad that you have observed the lifestyle of Nepalese women and their hard effort to maintain their family lives. I will be writing in the future, I hope to hear from you in the future too.

With Love and Regards
Sunita Basnet

usha kc's picture

hi

dear, sis, realy ur words reflect the real situation of our society where women have been recoganized as just for men's use. really touching n this make al the women energetic to be united to fight against men ruled society.
keep writting.
luv
usha

sunita.basnet's picture

Hello Sister

Dear Sister Usha,
Namskar,

Nice to see you in pulse wire after a long time. How are you sister? Merry xmas and happy new year 2010. Yes, I am trying to captured the real situation of our society and show our sister position of our country. I hope so and I believe you will also try your best to remove the discrimination from the country....

Big hugs

With Love and Regards
Sunita Basnet

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