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Same Standard for Gender

Once Mahatma Gandhi had says “If only the women of the World came together they could display such heroic non-violence as to kick away the Atom Bomb like a mere ball. If the Women of Asia wake up they will dazzle the world. My experiment in non-violence would be instantly successful if I could secure Women's help.”

However, in Nepal, women are ignored in every sectors. Men need women when they want and decide what to do? Are women’s body goods or material to decide by someone else? Don’t we have any choice even in our own body? We, women, should be more sensible, and “she should be faithful to only one man.” She needs to be careful in every step of her lives and control herself no matter of her choices.

Being a woman, she should be available to provide sexual service whenever her husband wants. From the time we marry someone, we are under the command of our husband without considering any of our desired and interest. Being a woman, we should have a sexual relation only to have children rather than sexual satisfaction. On the other hand, it does not apply to men; they are born to use the women’s body.

Besides sexual satisfaction, if we, women, cannot give birth to a child, we aren’t consider as a social beings due to several reasons. In this case, naturally, we are infertile and the isolation of our community makes our life heavy. Who are with us to understand if our husbands ignore us? What’s the definition of social beings? Why we, women, have to give birth to a child. In our society, children are needed to lean on and get help when we are unable to work. We must obey our husbands because it’s the traditional vision of our society. Here, we didn’t mean to say that we, women, should disobey our husbands but we should be able to questioned and argue with our husbands when we are ignored and discriminate us.

In Nepal especially in rural area, Nepalese women are involved in domestic work that is unpaid where we, women, worked almost 19 hours (4am-11pm) in a day, with very little support from family members, caring our children and family members. However, only men works are counted and paid in the country. Thus, we, women, are ignored most of the time in our lives. Even we educated daughters ignored and discriminated our mothers.

For instance, when someone asked us about of parents’ occupations, we smiled and replied, “my father is a…… and be proud of ourselves even when our fathers are farmer.” But, when it comes to our mothers, we hesitate to talk and finally we answer back “My mother does nothing, she stayed in home and is a house wife.” IS it fair to say, “My mother does nothing,” who worked almost 19 hours, taking care of us and forgetting her own desired and dream. Can we scarify our dream and desired for our family happiness/ others? We all need to think.

The same standard should apply to both men and women. We, the women, are human beings so we should have equal to men.

Comments

JaniceW's picture

Difficult situation

Sunita,
Namaskar. This is a difficult situation as you are fighting tradition and societal pressure. But educating the girls is a huge step towards gender equality as once they are empowered with knowledge, they are better able to stand up for their rights. It took more than 50 years of activism by the early suffragettes for women to receive the right to vote in the US. This breakthrough for social equality was the result of vigils, protests, speeches, essays, civil disobedience, hunger strikes, lobbying, organizing, and other forms of activism.

Higher education, as you know, is a way to get away from home, postpone marriage and earn social respect. Bringing together educated women is a great way to mobilize and brainstorm on ways to influence change. Nepali women face extraordinary obstacles and fierce resistance when they organize to change the law, but each form of activism chips away at the status quo, paving the way for the next generation to gain even more control over their lives.

I suggest you bring this topic to Falcha and encourage the other members to contribute to the conversation. It will be interesting to see the dialogue that results. Hardik Subhakamana.

sunita.basnet's picture

Thank you didi

Didi,
Namaskar,

Thank you so much for your suggestion and I have just posted in Falcha too in pulse wire. I hope Falcha will be a place to find the solution too.

Yeah here I am just trying to bring the problems of our communities and was wondering about the solution. Thank you so much for your wonderful solution.
Dhanyabad

With Love and Regards
Sunita Basnet

Sunita, how glad I'm to reply your wise and powerful words once again!

I have little to add to what Janice has already said.

Add, on my side, that even after so long efforts not all problems have been solved in so many societies. Italy, just to mention one.

I think a huge advancement will come from visionary leaders, journalists, teachers (and in a way I see all these figures in you). It may not be sufficient, however.

I believe that also new role models, and maybe a re-construction of the concept of "gender" itself, may help.

I know how this may be difficult. But for women to be fully "human" I strongly believe we shall have to go beyond the constraining and reductive "roles" (maybe "cages" is a more appropriate term) of mother, servant, ... This phrase is not original, I admit. And' I'm sad of it: it has been written so many times, and sooner or later you, or me, or someone else always feels an urge of rewriting it (while things have not really changed).

Janice stresses the role of education. I add my voice. To be human, women must first be first-class citizens, anywhere, and this demands education.

Educating people is always a revolutionary task.

With Jackie, Maria and Janice, we are trying a tiny initiative, which goes in this direction: trying to do something (writing, giving voice, lobbying) to improve the access of women (girls) in fields like mathematics and physics. Would you like to add your own voice? We'd be more-than-glad to have your perspective.

And, why not some other parallel initiative in the same direction, pertaining to different education fields? To plain access to education?

Of course, in line with your own "personal" priorities.

We are all waiting you (wondering what a splendid teacher, journalist and leader you are growing in),
with a very big hug.

Mauri

sunita.basnet's picture

I have already email you

Dear Mauri,
Thank you so much for the invitation. I do believe that education is only a best way to aware people. I would love to work. I have already send you an email. Please check it. Once again, thank you so much.

With Love and Regards
Sunita Basnet

Mauri's picture

We'll stay in touch!

Sunita dear!

Your support is so welcome, you don't imagine.

I'll send you all a draft of "a" possible group definition and mission (we should define it, I imagine, so other people may decide whether connecting with us is worth the time). So we may, in reasonably quick time (but not in a hurry) check my-and-any-of-you idea, and arrive at a synthesis. And finally, start the group and begin a bit of activity.

Thank for the mail, too!

Dear little Sun, your shine will give a great contribution.

Love, and hugs,

Mauri

sunita.basnet's picture

Thank you

Dear Mauri,

Thank you so much for your comment and suggestion. Yes, I do think that draft... will be a great idea. By the way, thank you so much for yur email too.

I will send u a reply after some days.
Big hugs

Sunita

With Love and Regards
Sunita Basnet

JaniceW's picture

Out of touch

dear Mauri,
Sorry for not responding sooner but I have been up to my eyes with work and so have not had a chance to read your proposal. I sincerely apologize and will try to get to it this weekend. With best wishes,
Janice

Janice, dear!

Don't be sorry, please! Time is always so scant. And in these time is something really positive if it is filled with work!

So, take your time, we have a lot.

And, thank you for considering to reply! This is what's so kind!

I add, I understand you. This too is a hard time for me. It's always, before Christmas. All are in a hurry, all want to close things (rightly), they do, ten vanish until the next fifteen-days-before-holidays.

In the process, I'm even considering to reconnect to my neuron (have one only). Have you seen it?

Cheers
Mauri

Mauri's picture

One Standard

Sunita, dear fried, you're every time welcome.

And your concerns are so, so important. To the whole human race, I mean!

I'll post a tiny "reply" about "standards" applied to people.
"You" inspired it!

So, I must thank you once again! ;-)

With love,
Mauri

sunita.basnet's picture

I am back

Dear Mauri,

Yesterday I finished my fianl exam and is free from today. Thank you so much for your beautiful words

Love you too

With Love and Regards
Sunita Basnet

Mauri's picture

I'm glad you've finished! I

I'm glad you've finished!
I was sure you was close to succeed... ;-)

I still remember the "sense of freedom" and relaxation after my own final exam (geological eons ago). What a relief!
I wish you can enjoy it, just the little bit necessary, but for non-zero time. This is "your time" - something very important.

And now it's my turn. In these days I've some peaks of work (a great luck, in this moment), but I'll very soon work at the final review of the Long Description of the Math Support Gals groups. And I'll send you and anyone of us other "founders".

Then, we'll begin with a further little step (exist).

In the meanwhile, I go on with some little posts (in preparation).

On last Saturday I was able to walk in the nature (what remains, in Brianza). Incredible: the ground was frozen (and thawing just while I was passing - not very convenient). But I've seen three flowers. I didn't expect! Three, wide open, and still very alive.

Sometimes you just walk around, doing nothing, and make incredible encounters. As on that another time. Still another flower, a wonderful one, deep blue with a violet tone, five centimeters from a big glacier... I still remember it!

(This is, or should be, the world... Little moments of beauty and happiness, so much you may cry, and peace. With all people facing the world without greed, or hunger, or will to dominate someone else...)

(Sunita, is late! My Only Unique Brain Cell is giving signs of craziness, and begins dreaming without my permission ;-) )

Again, congratulations.

Now "the world is yours"! (They say)

Hugs
Mauri

sunita.basnet's picture

Thank you so much

Dear Mauri,
Namaskar,

Yeah! Its so relaxing after the final exam and the result has already published. I have passed all my papers.........
Please I am waiting to hear your final post so that I believe I can also make a small contribution for your initiative.......

With Love and Regards
Sunita Basnet

Mauri's picture

Great!

Sunita, dear
Namaskar!

I'm so happy of your achievement!
It's an important step, in anyone's life.
And, for you!

It's my fault not having already sent the final post. But, time is almost mature, and it will follow soon (first days 2010). Promised! Crossing all finger I can!

Then, we all may really begin some action, the way we can. "Calmly, and steadily", connecting, opening imagination up.

With Love, Respect, Regards, and felicitations.

Mauri

sunita.basnet's picture

Happy New Year

Dear Mauri,

Happy New year and may all your wishes come true. Finger cross don't worry we will work together. I have write a post specailly for New Year but the server in my university crashed and we were unable to access our saved document... Still we all are working. Lets see till tomorrow we will finish creating domains and hopefully from saturday we will have a good internet facility in our university..........

Big Hugs

Best wishes dear
Sunita

With Love and Regards
Sunita Basnet

Sunita dear,

I see servers mutiny also outside Italy! Hope you ad your colleague will fix soon the problem, so I can read your post (I'm curious!) ;-)

Very soon I'll post the second-almost-final-long-description. Say "before day 6 Jan" (maybe "much" before - I'll inform you as soon as I have it).

A warm hug, and wish all years to come, this included, will be happy, full of interesting surprises, and leadig to many explorations.

Mauri

sunita.basnet's picture

Thank you and same from Here

Dear Mauri,

Yes I do think that 2010 will be an amazing year ever in my life........... And wish you same from Nepal.............. How was your New Year.....??? Thanks for your post...

With Love and Regards
Sunita Basnet

Mauri's picture

A new year starting in peace

Sunita, who says in Italy the weather is always warm and nice? ;-)

We started the New Year with one of the coldest days I remember. I imagine nothing for Nepal (it was "just" a -15 °C), yet an enormity for me...

But, I had the opportunity to pass it with my family (both actual and extended).
The last year has carried a treasure: a child, the second by a couple of dear friends. His glance is clever, as he is waiting to be just a bit independent, in order to "act" some little prank ;-).
On January 1st, I've seen him, and his now three-year-old sister, once more. It was a delightful experience (the little girl even beginning to appreciate my paradoxes).

What better way, to begin a year? Children are entire worlds of possibilities, entirely open to them, and us too. And, they can appreciate love naturally and spontaneously, with nothing else than accepting it, as naturally as they breath. We adults, signed by life, and a bit more domesticated, are not so wide open to world - and my wish for all of us is learning from them being so...

We (I and my brother) hiked a bit, too. It's a strange situation, almost unnatural. There is not snow, but wherever little rivers cut the mountains, you can see the most incredible laces and forms made by ice. The nature looks sleeping, even firs and larches seem, yet you perceive - through the ever-changing shapes of ice, the scent of cold air, and the mysterious noises - the vibration of life... Isn't it so "same" than looking in children eyes? Life. Life!

As life flows, perspectives can only be exciting. Thing may be hard, but life always goes, almost silently, but with immense, unstoppable power.

It will be a great 2010, for me, you, our beloved. I know, in some way. Not rationally, but can feel it clearly.

And what of you? I know very little of Nepal, and the image I have of your country is of an almost-paradise of nature, spirituality. I knew from you of the big problems you face every day. But, what now about you? Did you had some holidays in this time?

A hug, with love.

Mauri

Dear Mauri,
Nepal is a mountaineous country. It is the richest country in the world in it's natural beauty however there are many conflicts going on right now in Nepal. You know what???According to the kantipur newspaper, a prestigeous newspaper of Nepal, the New year started with a big strike in capital city. Yeas, We do have many hiking palces in the country. especially, Kathmandu is full of temple, everywhere you will temples and monkies.

However, currently I am in bangladesh and studying in ungraduate studies. I miss my country although many discrimination exist agaisnt us. we love our country although we are ignored. Yes I have vaccation now but from tomorrow we will again start our university.

With Love and Regards
Sunita Basnet

Mauri's picture

May peace arrive?

Sunita, dear

it happened to me being out of Italy for some time, and remember how distance from my home felt heavy - I adapted, discovered, enjoyed opportunities, just to feel homesick after a few days. So, I admire you greatly. Being away for long, even in a wonderful and inspiring institution-place like the AUW, is hard. But I see you fortitude, your inner strength. The light (light from heart can make places close).

Distance seems higher even when you don't know what happens, or you know and things are going bad. I've seen the big strikes on end December, and I knew very little of the last days'. I'm worried, I admit. From abroad afar, it seems the situation is getting more complicate. I wish a change, for the better, may take place soon. I wish this, to your birth country - and that discrimination will decrease, and end finally. That you, citizen of the World, may return and find a different perspective.

A big hug to you, the very enlightened AUW, and, if possible, your countries. With hope.

Mauri

sunita.basnet's picture

I do hope so....

Dear Mauri,
Namskar,

I am sorry, I am late to reply your response... Yes, there are many ways we can learnt about others, travelling and talking with people is a way. To be honest,one has to leave the country to realize the desparity of being far away from the coutnry. we do hope that while returning to our coutry, we will find our birth place as a heaven- heaven in sense of peace... However, yesterday also there was strike in the capital city and the situation is getting worst day by day... I wonder how we will be able to bring peace and see the smiling face of our parents, sisters and brothers.

Once again thank you so much for your comment.

With Love and Regards
Sunita Basnet

Mauri's picture

It can't worsen indefinitely!

Sunita, dear,

I see, things are getting more complicate, and conflicts radicalize.

The same, in different words, happens in Italy. So many people seems wanting to mark a space, delimit territories, state identities. Even building artificial ones, in our very special case.

But I also see we "may" hope. For one people fighting, ten or a hundred live in peace. We don't see them, yet they exist.

It's so sad to notice how people gluing the world together, and their values of patience, sensitivity, courage, open mind, are less valued than "fighting".

You made me remember a case. A dear friend of mine volunteered in an organization aimed at letting people of Bosnia meet and work together on specific technical problems (she's an engineer). Despite a civil war just "finished", this approach worked. By doing something together, people were forced to interact, and then acknowledge reciprocally their humanity. Some continued, and seeds were planted. With love.

My hope is, things can not go forever in the direction they're now. For current trends to reverse, however, information and communication is critical in my view. The "hundreds heralds of peace" should have opportunities to connect, and do a step further.

This is so very idealistic. I hope it, and I wish. But who know: if we feel this hard enough, things may change.

Love, and thank you so very much of your reply.

Mauri

sunita.basnet's picture

Hope so...

Dear Mauri,
I also hope that not to get any worse but I wonder what will it happen... Everywhere in Nepal things are getting more complicated and challenging. Yes I do agree with you.. We used to say... the world is big but so how can we make a different and get fraustrated but we should also remember that for a world we might become a person but for a person we can become a world... So let's try to become a world in this challenging situation also......

Big hugs and much love .... I feel that your comment make my post alive... Keep writing dear.. Love you so much....

With Love and Regards
Sunita Basnet

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