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The Cry

Nature has always been a central part of my life, from the North Dakota plains, to the Rocky Mountains of Colorado to the shores of the Pacific Ocean. My father tilled the earth for a living; the marrow of the land is in my bones. When I am in need I seek the solace of the soil.

In 1991 I locked the door of my tract home in Highlands Ranch, Colorado. In search of renewal and deep healing I was on my way to spend the summer at a retreat center in the Finger Lakes Region of Upstate New York.

My home for the next two months was in a handsome 19th century farm home with minimal furnishings and glorious space. Surrounded by the magic of wetlands, hardwood and coniferous woods, rolling hills, and an old-fashioned swimming hole I dove into the murky waters of my inner world. For weeks my morning walks with Baron, my four-legged friend, contained my cry, “Where ARE you God?”

Step by step I felt my intuitive, creative energy emerge. I felt connected, even “wild” at times. Early one morning Baron and I sat on top of a grassy hill to rest and contemplate.
I peered into the eyes of my dear companion. Something shifted. Flooded with the power of my own passion and joy I danced my way back to the farmhouse. Once again the sacred nature of the land unlocked the door to the spirit within me. It was time to go home.


Mauri's picture

Wild, and at home


as I read your wonderful story the image of immense forests, lakes, and uncontaminated nature formed in my mind.

I write from Italy, where spaces of wilderness are vanishing. And am worrying where may we heal ourselves, would this all happen.

I found a special resonance in your feeling wild at times, in Nature.

I too try on my way to feel intimately within the whole nature, and nature within me, on the fringe of night in places of my own. Isn't feeling "wild" any less than feeling "human"? Maybe, we are self-domesticating - and then, feel not completely authentic.

I wish you will more and more be in your home - and nature, same thing.

Thanks again,

voiceflame's picture


Dear Mauri,

Thank you so much for your response to my story of nature and home. It is heartwarming to know that the expression of my experience can touch another, and in turn I am touched by your response. I also feel my need to once again return to the woods, ponds and oceans to feed my soul. It was not in my own writing that I realize that - it was your response that awakened me. So again , thank you! Mary

Maria Cuellar's picture


Dear voiceflame,
It sounds like Thoreau's Walden. Wikipedia's entry about Walden says "The work is part personal declaration of independence, social experiment, voyage of spiritual discovery, and manual for self reliance." This sounds like what you went through. It sounds wonderful!
Thanks for sharing your thought on land,

voiceflame's picture


Dear Maria,

Thanks your response to my story! It was a pivotal experience in life that I often refer back to.
I read your profile and want to congratulate you on your accomplishments. Your grandmother left you an incredible legacy that you are carrying forward. Supporting people to leave a written spiritual legacy is part of my passion.

This summer I took 8 women to Malawi, Africa to empower women to write their stories as a tool for finding their voice for social and economic change. Your goal to teach science in developing countries is admirable. I think of the young girls in Malawi who are aching for such an education. If you have any desire to chat further about what my group is up to, please let me know. I would enjoy learning more about you and and your goals.


Sophie's picture


Your piece is so powerful, feels the connection with nature that you experienced. Often we forget how close we are with nature and how much we need each other.

Sophie Ngugi
Child of the Universe

voiceflame's picture

Thank you for your thoughtful

Thank you for your thoughtful comment! Mary

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