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Immortal Beloved

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Immortal Beloved

The lights cast shadows but not enough.
Blood trickles out of her nose as she breaths
heavy, laboriously
Back flexes, muscles taught.

Later, after we have dressed her in the white light cast by our headlamps through the soft quiet rain,
we see that her legs are broken, one hip disjointed. Internal bleeding. Ruptured intestines.

We don't know that now as we walk across the gravel road.
We know the salty taste of tears mingling with the pungent smell of blood.
We know the sound of her family calling, just beyond the lights of the car.
Stomping hooves in moist earth.
Snorting through wet air.
"We smell you, we know where you are."

I cover my mouth with my hand, human wails into the night,
knees on cement,
my shadow shading her eyes from the light.

"I am sorry for my culture."
"I am sorry for my culture."
"I am sorry for my culture."
It flows, a mantra through my head. over and over.
It is true.

Alex kneels next to her. Hand on her rising and falling chest.
We look at one another. We know.
Time passes and we do not move.
She is calm.

The cut is small and her breath leaves through the incision.
in and out
in and out
in
and
out.

Life's blood moving too,
a stream out of her body, pooling next to her, sinking into the gravel and into the earth.

Hands on ribs. We wait.

Slowly life leaves, the snorts from the forest cease, her breathing slows with her heart beat.

And with the final breath I feel the release of energy, like a supernova or an eclipse, moving out into everything. I feel it through my body, I feel it with every cell.
They feel it too and I hear them calling once more, loudly.
They know, as I know and the rocks know and the trees know. As everything that can feel knows.

Comments

jadefrank's picture

Beautiful

Hi Friede,

Thank you for courageously contributing to the community with your powerful poetry and writings. I encourage you to continue sharing your work, and perhaps contributing to the PulseWire group, Poetry and Other Writings. Here you can share your work with a group of passionate poets on PulseWire! We are so glad to have you here in our community!

Warm regards,
jade

Sharese's picture

This is a very powerful

This is a very powerful piece. I felt the emotion and could see the scene throughout. Literally, my heart beat faster and I couldnt read fast enough to get further. Very powerful.

I feel at the end, however, that it kind of "lost it". I feel that there was a switch from letting the reader feel the emotion to trying to make the reader feel it. Try working on that last stanza- perhaps leave out the word "feel", instead let the imagery convey the feeling.

Agian, though- heartpounding work. I very much look forward to reading more of your work. Thank you for sharing this!!!

I hope this was constructive and helpful. Much Peace.

Sharese

Friede Rica's picture

thanks

thanks for the feed back it was great, i will look at the piece and make some changes towards the end. I wouldn't have seen that shift without your help!

thank you sincerely, Friede

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