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For the Love of Women and The Children, Men, Please Dress Decently!

This is what men think they look, but actually look like...

As I was reading Sophie's brilliant post, Until All Women Are Free, I couldn't help but think of all the men in the US who subject our women and children to "indecent" exposure. Why is this never mentioned or addressed? Here are the problems I see and my solutions:

Problem: Men often forget their belts and, therefore, expose their butt cracks to women and children. This is not only indecent exposure, but also can cause immediate retching and vomiting among those who are witness to this indecency, which is a public health concern.

Solution: Men are required to wear belts with pants. Men who are caught without belts will be required to wear a state-issued muumuu until they present proof of belt-ownership and pay a $200 fine.

Problem: Many men are delusional and believe that they have abs, chests, and arms like Arnold Schwarzenegger. As a result, they go out in public shirtless. This is not only indecent exposure, but also can cause immediate retching and vomiting among those who are witness to this indecency, which is a public health concern.

Solution: It is illegal for men to go shirtless. Any man who goes shirtless will be required to wear a state-issued muumuu for 30 days and pay a $200 fine.

Problem: Many men deny that they have gained weight and insist on wearing pants that no longer fit. As a result, they can't get their pants up over their butts and bellies. This is not only indecent exposure, but also can cause immediate retching and vomiting among those who are witness to this indecency, which is a public health concern.

Solution: Men are required to go to the newly established "Office of Measurements" twice a year to have their butts, waists, and chests measured. They will then be issued a clothes purchasing card that indicates their measurements/sizes. This ID will be required before purchasing any new clothes.

Additionally, men are given six months to upgrade their wardrobes to the appropriate clothing sizes. Men who fall below the poverty line may apply for a clothing stipend. Any man who does not comply will be required to wear a state-issued muumuu for 180 days or pay a $1200 fine.

If my solutions seem absurd, then I have accomplished my goal, which is to highlight the absurdity of the laws and mandates that women are subjected to daily across the world. Lubna Hussein was not only fully clothed, but also wearing multi-layers of clothing. Only a society determined to continue a tradition of oppression would say differently.

It will not be easy, but I know that if we continue to raise awareness about all forms of oppression and find ways to open dialogue with our allies, we can gain more and more freedom for women to express ourselves... through words, through writing, and, of course, through our attire.

Someone please give this man a muumuu
Off to the Office of Measurements for him
This seems like a public walking hazard
The state-issued muumuu


Sunny_sunshine_cloudy_Mina's picture

Lets see

I think anyone has the right to wear what they want to wear. (Even though it can be surprising sometimes.) If that started that is denying a freedom and people can't be themselves.

When you say something has to be, you have to consider the consequences. Think it through all the way. No one but themselves can make them change there clothes. Sometimes they are just lazy, or they can't afford clothes, or even they have self disillusion.

If it is illegal for men, it would be illegal for women too. Not being able to wear a bikini, oi.

"Fight fire with fire, you'll end up with ashes."
"A charming lady does not follow the crowd, she is herself."

Jennifer Ruwart's picture

That was my point


I was using humor and sarcasm to share my opinion that I do NOT believe it is okay to legislate how women- or men - must dress. Hopefully this came across. :-)

Thanks for your comment!

Jennifer Ruwart
Chief Collaborator
JR Collaborations

Sophie's picture

The point is...

Jennifer I agree with you, all the rules of indecency seem to point to only women! If rules have to be there then even women need to be given the opportunity to define 'decent' dressing for men.....its a free world yes, but that goes both ways!!

Sophie Ngugi
Child of the Universe

Cultural Correspondent's picture

Love it!


This is brilliant...not to mention very funny and thought-provoking.

It is truly sad how "normalized" it has become for many societies -- North America, included -- to implement legislation on women's dress, yet the same standards rarely, if ever, apply to men.

If anything, when we read something like this, our initial reaction is laughter. Yet, there really isn't anything humorous about it.

I think we need more pieces such as this one finding their way into public forums so that light may be shed on how ridiculous and harm-inducing these mandates are.

All my best,


consolata's picture

How sad?

This is really really thought provoking. The women have undergone so much in the hands of our men. Who will come to their resque? I believe the media has so much role to play. I am glad that the media is really highlighting the case of Lubna Hussen since it will be an eye opener to the society.
Lets all highlight women plights and change the society way of thinking.

Thanks for sharing this with us Jennifer,
Sista Consolata.

shiku steve's picture

church `dress code'

Jan, I trust your `underground ' has been healthy! Trust you did your ran well too.Your piece remind me of a certain church which have a dressing code only for women. That women should never, I say ,ever and never wear dresses that show their knees. laughably, the dresses have to be from a certain material-cheap. As kids, we to joked and laughed alot about the material, it always did a jig kind off with a rythmic sound, shiri shara ,shiri shara. OOH NO ! And that women should never show off their beutiful hair. So the cheap `materialed' dress was and is always accompanied by a matching head scuff. Nonsense! Their men on contrary, indulge in all sort of dressing you can think of-apart from shorts. Funny enough, this church has more women followers than men. Dont we love discrimination ?

Love Shiku

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