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Are You a Jerk?

We've all worked with them at some point. Loud-mouthed, over-demanding people with whom no one wants to work long term. Pests who take all the credit for other people's ideas. What if I told you that these people most likely are completely unaware of their behavior?!

Ben Saltzman of www.createyourvision.com says the key is to get such people to see how they are affecting other people around them. One of the best ways to do this is to ask colleagues. Some people may be too polite to tell you or simply wish to avoid confrontation. Ask your friends and co-workers "what is the image I've created at work?" Ask for direct feedback.

How do you fix the rumors and impressions already in circulation, you ask? Simple. Start a new rumor! Ben suggests starting a campaign within your organization. Get people talking about you. For example, enlist your co-workers to tell the boss about your success in a recent project.

Ben and I also talked briefly about people who may have difficulty influencing others. This is usually due to being afraid of something - of what? Why? Most likely the first answer is "I don't know." Ben uses the Enneagram, a personality system, to find the underlying why. Its purpose is also to find your hidden decision-making processes. Why do we do what we do? The Enneagram features 9 different belief structures.

The more self-knowledge you have, the more likely you are to eliminate limiting beliefs and behaviors, right? :)

If you'd like more information on the Enneagram, Ben has a couple of free trainings. One of them is How to use the Enneagram in Your Life, which can be found at www.createyourvision.com. Transformational Coaching Audio Training can be found at www.enneagramcoachtraining.com.

Comments

Rebecca's picture

Influence

I'd love to hear what your thoughts are on the relationship between influence and power. Does influence look different depending on how much power a person has, or what sorts of power other people hold over them? Is it really as simple as being 'fearless?' Isn't fear a great influencer?

Kristen Hallows's picture

Good question, Rebecca!

I think influence and power are similar yet very different. Someone has influence among people typically when they respect or admire him or her. That person could have power over people with or without their respect.

And no, I don't think it's as simple as being fearless. Sometimes I think those without fear are the ones who tend to fall into the "power" category. Personally, I'd much rather have influence than power. I suppose it depends on who experiences the fear...I know that fear has definitely influenced all of our decision making at some point.

What do you think? Thanks for responding!

Kristen Hallows
Job You Deserve Career Coaching
www.jobyoudeserve.com
www.jobyoudeserve.blogspot.com
Skype: kristen.hallows

Goldie Davich's picture

thanks for the link

I recently did a test that determined my enneagram number.

I think I am probably a jerk at work SOMETIMES. I found your links helpful and in particular I like the idea of fixing some of my reputation problems :-)

Goldie Davich, PulseWire Online Intern

Glad to hear it! I'm pretty new to the Enneagram myself, but it seems to be an extremely useful tool for a lot of people. Let me ask you this: Now that you know your type, how does it affect your life, especially professionally?

Cheers,

Kristen

Kristen Hallows
Job You Deserve Career Coaching
www.jobyoudeserve.com
www.jobyoudeserve.blogspot.com
Skype: kristen.hallows

Goldie Davich's picture

I want to learn more about my type

Right now I do not know exactly how knowing my type has affected my life professionally. I know that I can identify with the fears and can see how my fears dictate my behavior... I will hopefully get back to you!
Goldie Davich, PulseWire Online Intern

Cynthia Casas's picture

Enneagram testing?

Hi Kristen, i checked out the links, but what i'm really curious about is if there's a simple enneagram test online that is free and that anyone can take to help determine what number they are. If you know of any please post it.

Thank you,

Cynthia Casas

Kristen Hallows's picture

Free mini-test

Hi Cynthia!

I found a wealth of information today in the FAQs on this site:

http://www.ennea.com/faq/faq.htm

It looks like all of the full-length tests that provide you with your type are fee-based. Some are as little as $10, but I would also like to dip my toes in the water first, so to speak, before I start to invest money. If you really want to invest some bucks, evidently there are classes you can take to better understand your type! Wow.

Below is a link to a free mini-test. I say "mini-test" (can't you just picture Mini Me now?) because it is a shorter version that suggests your top three or ranks all nine in order of probability. I know what you're thinking...just give me my type already!

http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/Tests_Battery.asp

To think that 12 hours ago I knew nothing about the Enneagram! You guys are great!

Kristen Hallows
Job You Deserve Career Coaching
www.jobyoudeserve.com
www.jobyoudeserve.blogspot.com
Skype: kristen.hallows

Gene's picture

Enneagram was Helpful for me

When I was on sabbatical 10 years ago, I was able to take a year course in the Enneagram. I now know much better who I am.

But the Enneagram is not the only help in getting to know oneself. Life itself is an excellent teacher. I am 76 years old and have a pretty good idea of my weaknesses and strength.

One of the most powerful ways to grow is to relate to others. Of course a person who never stops talking won't learn much. But after enough bangs and hurts one learns. At least I did.

I am what I am, warts and all. I am still able to help others, and that is the ultimate teacher.

Hey there Gene,

Thanks so much for sharing your experiences! I completely agree that the Enneagram should be one of hopefully many tools used to understand why we do the things we do both on the job and outside of work.

I hope that when I'm 76 I can provide such uplifting messages to other people! Keep up the great work!

Kristen Hallows
Job You Deserve Career Coaching
www.jobyoudeserve.com
www.jobyoudeserve.blogspot.com
Skype: kristen.hallows

Gene's picture

Your Message just after Supper

Well, I came to look if there was anything new at PulseWire after supper. I sat at my computer and saw your message. Thank you. Your response to my comment was most welcome.

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