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My name is Ingabire , I live in Kigali. During the Rwandan Genocide, I was still 20 years old. I was raped by the Interahamwe militiamen for their simple pleasure of having sexual relations with a victim’s girl. In this way, I was infected with HIV/AIDS. Before the genocide, I had a fiancé, but he left me after he learned that I had been raped and infected with HIV.

At this time, I live an unhappy and pitiful life. Because of my poor health, I cannot find work because I am always sick. I am allergic to anti-retrivirals. No one is here to take care of me, my family was exterminated during the genocide. I am the only survivor. My friends have all left me because I am a burden to them. The neighbors, whose family members committed genocide, they laugh at me, saying that I was a prostitute and I caught AIDS. I live a life of complete anguish. at a certain time some one come to tell me that he loves me, he pregnanted me and he lives me because he has a good education that I don’t have, I accepted to give birth and suffer with my baby girl who has no value in the family because she is a girl, I am working in a saloon, with little money I earn my living with my baby, but I don’t know what wrong with me, now , I did a fornication with a man who came and tell me that he is going to marry me legal, but I am more suffering than ever , because , I am the one to pay rent, to find food and every things of our needs, and some time he leave me with some materials, and after I see him back. this is Ingabire ‘s story.

As we called our journal heal yourself, and we see that the big problematic of domestic violence In Rwanda is that culture ask women to keep quite, now we are helping them to express their problems, so this is an openly debate for you to give advices and think how women together we can release our friends from ignorance and oppression.

a story by Charlotte


Dear Ingabire:

Please read my post which is not really about you, and it doesn't talk about such an enormous amount of suffering, but it can help you face your fears day by day, little by little. I do understand what it is like to be left out by everyone you love. Although I have not suffered a big loss such as yours I feel I can reach your soul through some humble words.

Please try to make your life more liveable. Don't give up girl. Have you tried drinking lots of water, herbal tea such as chamomile? Chamomile is incredible and if you take at least one liter every day (ask your doctor though because I don't know about the combination with your medicines), you can get rid of almost any allergy. Allergies are the most annoying sickness there is, so if you can get rid of them, that helps to build the tranquility you need to think about the other health issues.

Also, you my darling, are LOVABLE, all the way. You need to remember this all the time. Everyday when you wake up say: 'Thank you my Heavenly Father (or any God you have) for I am a precious daughter of yours and this day will be filled with all the love and prosperity the Universe offers to me infinitely.' And every time you go to the bathroom, see yourself in the mirror and say: 'Ingabire, darling, I love you so much, you are beautiful, lovable, rich in every aspect, and you will today get everything you need in abundance and endlessly'. Remember, your spirit IS love.

Please begin the path of forgiveness and try to give your girl a smile everytime you look at her. It is the easiest thing in the world to yell at little kids who ramble around us when we are sick, but remember she is just a small flower and treat her gently. She will fill your days with love and laughter in return.

Also, every time you need money, repeat 'I am one with the Universe and the Universe provides for me immensely. Thank you God that I already have gotten what I need and ten times more. One with God is the majority, two or more are the totality' And you will see how much better you feel and how much better things will begin to be.

When you have time, read a lot. This is a very good medicine for the soul. If you can find the book 'You can Heal Your Life' by Louise Hay, please buy it. Give it a chance to make miracles in your life.

And keep writing in here. Tell us your everyday stories. Every burden is less heavy when carried between two or more people.

Lots of love to you and your girl,


Jacqueline Patiño FundActiva
Tarija - Bolivia
South America

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