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MY DIARY

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Jun 02, 2009
The roaring wind made us all rush to the window of the drawing room overlooking the lawn. We all stood rooted to the ground witnessing a shower turning into a pour not of rain but hail. As the white tiny balls (resembling shreen a sugar ball traditionally used in festivities and religious ceremonies in Kashmir ) scattered on the ground falling and then rebounding furiously. Soon the green grass was adorned by white pearls. Nature was at its best and most furious as well. The wind was howling, dangerously swaying the trees as well as the rain.

My brother was worried about his plants in the garden. My grandpa was thinking about the orchard owners ours being a horticulture region. The hail translated into loss for them.

I was calm. I had never seen such wind. This was the most furious till date. Surprisingly it didn’t scare me. The rage of nature matched my inner rage. I felt like nature was in tandem with my own feelings. I felt one with God at that very moment.

A host of problems have been plaguing me for long. I guess it is same for everybody . To each his own. But at that very moment I wanted to believe the common thing that was bothering me and God was the tragedy that occurred in Kashmir. On 30th May two women were gang raped and then murdered at village Bonagam in Shopian. A teenaged girl Asiya Jan and her pregnant sister in law Neelofar Jan left for their orchard at 4.00 pm never to return. Their orchard is just 2 km away from their home. An army camp is nearby. A stream is between their orchard and the area that hosts the camp. On their way back home the tragedy occurred. Their bodies were fished out of a stream the next day. They clothes were torn.

The girls brother had gone out looking for them but couldn’t find them till 3 in the morning. He went home and came back after two hours only to find them in a bad state with torn clothes.

The government was trying to hush the matter to the extent that the Chief Minister said nothing had happened. The Post Mortem Report was not made public. In fact they did two of them as the first said nothing had happened. A lady doctor in the second team was made to swear (she was made to keep her hand on the holy Quran) before answering by the people. On being asked what had happened her answer was “It is better for all Kashmiri girls to die than this. It is the work of beasts not humans”

They saw the rectum had come out and also the uterus.

Since yesterday we are on a strike meaning all the city is closed down and people are protesting. The government has put restrictions which are akin to curfew in some places.
They are trying to deny the incident.

People are angrier because such incidents have been happening by and large in villages but don’t get reported due to societal trash. So it has been simmering for too long now.

Jun 03
Had a horrible day. I woke up with a stomach pain which in fact started in the night itself.
I passed the whole day in pain or the apprehension of it. I couldn’t locate the cause. A friend called and while discussing my condition I happened to mention that I used to get stomach ache due to tension/stress ( she was trying to figure out the cause u see and I was rejecting them like spices, empty stomach etc). Then I was trying to assess am I straining myself too much as always. Yup I have been thinking too much lately.
The wind took away electricity. Had a candle lit dinner .
The protests are on. You know what we do. People here pelt stones at police. And the police fire bullets not the rubber ones. So many have been killed this way. They tried rubber ones once or twice but fired them in such a fashion that it nevertheless resulted in deaths. Not in the legs or something like they are meant to be. They also use what we call tear gas (smoke canisters). They use the ones that are not allowed on civil population. Made in Israel, the ones that are meant for a full fledged war (Yes, war with all. And they aim it in such a way that it results in death like rather than firing it on the ground they aim it at the head of the protestors. A few teenagers have made it to heaven in last few months thanks to them.

Jun 04
The electricity has not been restored. I was looking forward to first of June for the programme of VOF to start but then one never knows how things turn out especially in my region. I am confined to my home and wondering when I will be able to post this and how much more will I add before posting. I am also wondering what has happened in the first week of the programme. No internet at home. Life can be hell :)
I am also worried about the loss these days mean to my work. Had some guests at home from 31st they had to stay due to the strike but today they managed to go home. I have been busy with them.
I am all with the strike and among all the Kashmiris who want justice for the two victims. The separatists’ leaders have been arrested or house arrested.

A 22 yr old who was injured by smoke shell succumbed today.

Jun 06
My granny has been hospitalized a few days back. The hospital is a few kms from our home. Dad is there alternately for night. Mom goes to see her daily. She has to walk and it takes her an hour each while coming and going. She has a back problem and it is really difficult for her to walk. But then we don’t have a vehicle of our own. I didn’t go as I am still taking precaution with my foot (remember I had broken ligaments)

Not feeling like writing lately. A journo friend called giving me the account of his colleague who had been to Shopian for a story on the incident. I felt the pain afresh. I asked him why males don’t get raped. To humour me he said you women are selective about whom to sleep with for men it makes no difference. I was too disturbed to say something and hung up.

How could a human being inflict so much of pain on the other and derive pleasure out of it. I wish they all get hanged publicly. No better still they go through much more pain themselves.

I was angry with God. I always think that God should have given women more physical strength than men because they need it. Because they are so vulnerable they need to protect themselves. But then this can’t be undone.

But we all need to learn some sort of self defense. I suggest whosoever has a chance do so. And you all mothers there get your daughters taught.

Jun 07

Sources say the medical report has confirmed gangrape. The authorities are not speaking. Today a women’s organization had asked all women to assemble at Eidgah which also houses the martyr’s graveyard. All the roads leading to Eidgah are blocked. Eidgah is under curfew with the adjoining areas.
After the afternoon prayers hundreds of women managed to reach Eidgah but the troopers fired teargas canisters and beat them up with bamboo sticks.
We are still on strike meaning no transport, all offices, schools and establishments closed.
People are either protesting on streets stone pelting or in their homes.

Jun 08
As expected curfew in some parts. Today was Shopian Chalo meaning all the people had to go the area where it happened? It was known that the administration won’t let the people do it.

The government had convened a meeting of the media and has ordered the local cable channels who cover the local news extensively to limit their news time from 8.00 PM to 8.15 PM daily. Friends this is the biggest so called democracy of the world. Can u believe it the CM Chief Minister (the head of the state government) who talks of e governance and information technology is asking the local cable channels to limit their news to 15 minutes daily only. In this age of internet this is blasphemy.

The strike has been called off from tomorrow. Though the protests will continue. I may be able to finally post this.

The procession of people who had managed to reach Shopian was fired at leaving several injured. Dad was at the hospital when a few of them were bought there. There was hue and cry dad said and so many women were crying.

I ask what we have done. Don’t we have a right to protest? The country that is proud of Mahatma Gandhi the beacon of non-violence is doing what in practice. Firing on unarmed peaceful protestors. There can’t be a better example of preach but not practice.

A friend called giving the account of a journalist working for a national news channel. He had filed a report today which has raised hue and cry. His version is that there was no rape. It was all with mutual consent.
I was really shocked. Though the man is known as a state agent I still wonder does he have no conscience. If it was all consented why did they need to die and in such a condition.
He says the forensic report does not indicate rape. The police have only filed a charge of rape and not murder.

Isn’t it easy to confirm if the troops have done it? They can get the DNA from the bodies all they need is the DNA of the soldiers. My friend tells me forget it they have all been transferred it is over. She is more disturbed and wants to do something about it. I am numb.

Jun 09
I can post this as the strike is off. I am at work. A lot to do.

Comments

Maria de Chirikof's picture

Wow!

I guess the only good news is you have not missed much since we have just been reading the material and are getting ready for a skype/phone conference soon.

But, my Goddess! That is terrible! I hardly know what to say since words can only do so much but to say that I hear you and will make sure others know how bad it is there.

I agree about learning self defense but my girls have not yet either so am planning on signing them up soon for it. It is important to learn how to fend off an attacker long enough to get away.

I am still so stunned about it, I mean trying to deny it. It must be like here and reading they gave the guy who went with his buddies to some home and killed the parents then raped the girl and makes me so angry. Where is the justice?!

What can we do?! My prayers and thoughts are with you but there must be more we can do!

Hugs and I am so sorry such things happen in the world!!

Maria

Nusrat Ara's picture

Thanks for the support Maria.

Thanks for the support Maria. And do enroll the girls in some course. And I think before that impart a faith, a confidence in them that they are not so weak, they can fight it out they just have to be cautious and wise. We can beat them :)

Love
Nusrat

Nusrat

Tanya's picture

In prayer and solidarity

Dear Nusrat,

Your post finally compelled me to post after such a long time (I've been meaning to reply to other posts but havent done so yet). I'm in India right now and I was meaning to ask you what is your account of the dastardly incident. You see, the first few days when this happened, I saw nothing of it in the Indian media. It was only when I logged on to a Pakistani news channel that I got an inkling of what had happened. I read about it later in Dawn. For the past two or three days, finally a little coverage is being given to the issue in the national media. It's extremely limited. A conference of Omar Abdullah and a discussion between Farooq Abdullah & Mehbooba Mufti..alongwith some tickers and images during the day.

My deepest condolences for your loss of fellow Kashmiris. May Allah grant all of you the strength to deal with this and other issues plaguing the valley.

Please try and keep us posted. One of the voices I really look forward to reading/hearing is yours on this board. Stay strong and safe and may Allah(swt) use rain as a means of sending his rehmat(mercy) upon all of you.

Lastly, can I share this account of yours on facebook amongst my friends and in my email so as to create awareness. I wouldnt want to put up your picture because of security issues but let me know what you think. Also, can I use your real name?

Warmest Regards,

Tanya Daud

Nusrat Ara's picture

Dear

Hi Tanya

Nice to know u r in India. Somehow U seem closer. I don't use my pic. I think this is the first time I had put my pic on net.
Sure u can use my post. Keep my name as Nusrat. Don't use the pic. You can take out the unnecessary details like the guests we had and things like that. The only problem I see is that I am afraid I wasn't able to put all the facts like in a newstory. I was confined to home. I wrote it for my blog.

I remembered u when I wrote this. u had asked me about Omar Obdullah.
they saw he has gone to Gulmarg for a holiday today.
the rape and murder has been confirmed.

" the primary findings indicate that they were neither raped nor murdered and they actually drowned but the situation is such that people are not ready to buy our theory . so, we have decided that s judicial commission will probe the deaths and submit the report within a month " says the CM
the women were found naked and the brother had taken his shirt off to cover his sister.
you had asked me if omer could make a differnce. this is it
A journo friend was telling me the other day that this was expected of Farooq Abdullah but his son turned out to be the same.

I want to write a good piece on this but don't know if I can manage because there is a lot of work pending.

Btw I have a facebook account as well. Be my friend there as well.
I don't know about u much. share .

Till then Lots of Love
Nusrat

Nusrat

Edithlum's picture

how many more

your story makes me fear for women. how many more women will fall prey to the large appetite and scornful hearts of some men. every day cases of rape are reported everywhere and the plea for a change yet no hopes. the forces of law and order who are supposed to keep peace have turned out to be perpetrators of such forms of violence.
i am a journalist and i feel hurt when a fellow journalist goes on to twist the truth on issues as such. Of course it can only be done by press men who fail to carry out their social responsibility roles but engage in pro government actions. who are we fooling?

Edithlum

Nusrat Ara's picture

Dear do u know what his (i

Dear do u know what his (i mean the reporters) dispatches suggested that they died of pleasure. he had used the word excitement. The Forensic report has now confirmed gangrape and murder. It is still a long way to go before the guilty are punished. I doubt it.

Nusrat

dr edonna's picture

WOW

I can imagine the numbness you feel in this situation and your identification with natures rage on the scourges of humanity. It is a crime against humanity for such a thing to occur. I will send light and love to them as they are in the world of spirits now, for the healing of their souls. To die such a tragic death, means that those of us who are left have much work to due to prevent its occurrence in the future and to pray that the end of such violence comes to an end, in our life time.

I am thankful to siserfriends like yourself who care enough to make the rest of us aware of such horrors. Sometimes, it is difficult to know what to say, but I know this, that those who committed such a crime will not rest for the rest of their days even if they get off free in this life time from having to pay for their crime. Thank you for your courage, compassion and determination to stand for the oppressed and abused.

Nusrat Ara's picture

Thanks. Let us all be there

Thanks. Let us all be there for each other. It makes things a lot easier.

Nusrat

Nusrat,

Thank you for sharing your diary. I am stunned and deeply saddened by this story. I am grateful to you for breaking this story here on PulseWire. Our community can now mourn for the two sisters and help them on their journey beyond this world. We can support the protest and send our love to you and your community. We can continue to follow the story and take action if a pathway becomes clear. Most importantly, we can wrap pur virtual arms around you and let you know that we love you and are here for you.

Please tell us what you need and we will do our best. Do not worry about VOF. It is waiting for you.

Love,
Jennifer

Jennifer Ruwart
Chief Collaborator
JR Collaborations

JaniceW's picture

News reports

Nusrat, I have been following this in the news media, and see that the police and military have been instructed not to allow people to assemble as a result of the protests. It seems that over 150 people have now been injured from the police firing of live rounds and tear gas into the demonstrators. With the initial cover-up, understandably people have little confidence in the judicial investigation that has been ordered by the government but I hope that the truth comes out, and the families and people of Shopian and Srinagar will be able to get some form of resolution.

http://www.demotix.com/news/fresh-protests-erupt-kashmir-over-demonstrat...

http://www.dawn.com/wps/wcm/connect/dawn-content-library/dawn/news/world...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/8076666.stm

Nusrat,
I have been trying to get in touch with you - but now I understand why you have been hard to reach.
Thank you for sharing your very personal perspectives on this terrible tragedy - a tragedy that unfortunately reflects similar tragedies that happen all too often. I can imagine how difficult it is for you to have such a horrific event occur in your own city and to have to deal with the grief, aftershock and the lack of honesty about the events. It is such a clear indication of why women's voices around the world are so important.

I am with you in my thoughts and encourage you to email one-to-one so you can pour out some of your own personal grief and anger with me.

Blessings,
Debra

Debra

busayo's picture

Sorry About Your Losses

Hi Nusrat,
I know when we do not hear people there must be one thing or the other that has been happenning to them.
All of us in this program are serious and passionate women with visions. We know something must be wrong. Sorry about your losses, the girls murdered in their cold blood and government doing nothing is callous but i know those who did it would be punished by God. They will not go scot free.
How is your stomach, the electricity and all the ups and down. Hope things are better.If there is anything we can do to ask for justice concerning those girls, let us know. I think this is part of the reasons why we are here

Lots of Love
Busayo

Busayo Obisakin
Women inspiration Development center
Ile-Ife, Nigeria
busobisaki@yahoo.com
womeninspirationcenter@gmail.com
http://womeninspirationce.wix.com/widcng

busayo's picture

Wow When Is this Going To Stop

I just went to those link of news Janice posted, Infact it is so sad that some people would be suffering like this and
all the power that be in the world are just looking and keeping quiet. In the name of what for God' sake. I pray that God will put a stop to this oppression of the people of Kasmir to the glory of His name.

Busayo Obisakin
Women inspiration Development center
Ile-Ife, Nigeria
busobisaki@yahoo.com
womeninspirationcenter@gmail.com
http://womeninspirationce.wix.com/widcng

kvr's picture

Heartbreaking

Nusrat,
I am so very saddened by the tragedy that has occured to your people. You are very brave and strong to share it with all of us. I will be sending prayers for all of you.

Nusrat Ara's picture

Thanks

Thanks

Nusrat

oanhluu's picture

I wish to make friend with you.

Dear Nusra abra behr,
I read your diary and I feel very sad about it. In my life, I also have sorrow experience, loss but they are not as yours. Please tell me more about you, about your family, your country. Because I wish to be your friend. You said truely that God give women strong consitutiion like men but he us strong spirit in order to overcome any difficulty. And maybe, God take you to me so that we share with together. And now, you are stronger because you have us who always beside you.
Please contact with me if you need someone to share and let me know you more.

oanh

Nusrat Ara's picture

Thanks dear. I would love to

Thanks dear. I would love to hear more about you as well . Right now I have little access to net. Do write to me and in pulsewire as well.

Love

Nusrat

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