It sometimes seems strange the things your mind can think, I can remember back when I was in my abusive marriage and the girls were still very young how much easier it would be if I was getting hit instead of emotionally abused. With woman who are getting hit there are bruises to measure, broken bones to mend, etc. but with emotional abuse you get instead the same symptoms as with depression or anxiety or those types. I can remember one time when reading of a woman who got helped when she was in a relationship where he was physically hurting her and thinking how lucky she was. Then being shocked at myself and thinking to myself maybe my husband is right and I am worthless since look at what I am thinking!
It strikes me again when thinking of the situation of the indigenous Americans, especially those in Alaska. I was thinking to myself when reading the news that 'wouldn't it be great if we were getting bombed too so people would care about us more' then had to stop short again. Where on earth do such thoughts come from I wondered since I would never wish tragedy on anyone and do pray for Peace in other places. I know how devastating it is to those living there under those conditions so why did that ugly thought spring into my mind like that?
It got me to thinking of cages and how it can seem where I am in some sort of gilded one where it is not so bad compared to others around. And that is true, we do not have it as bad as even the indigenous Americans in the lower 48, where we supposedly live in a free country. But the fact that I am not free is what should be remembered and not that I live in a gilded one. I am racking my brain trying to remember where I heard that one poem 'Why does the cage bird sing" and can't think of it right now.
I would love to sing the songs my ancestors knew, I would love to live as they would live, I would love to speak in my ancestors language and most of all, I would love to be free to choose whether I lived there or lived in Anchorage. Those choices were taken from me by the Americans when they 'relocated' my mom and other Aleuts from their traditional homes. They took the young and moved them into isolated boarding schools away from their roots and culture and families. Why do you think they did this?
I know why, Alaska is very rich in resources that they are hungry for. It is like Cortes and his insatiable lusts for gold and wealth and had no problem with destroying anyone to get it. In a small scale everyone can agree how wrong this is, like hearing of a bank robbery and wanting them caught and tried and punished for their crimes. But on a huge scale everyone seems able to turn a blind eye to it. It always makes me wonder about them and what they are truly thinking. Do they, perhaps, believe we asked for it? That we did not kill them when they first came (Russians by the way for my people), so now believe it is our own fault? I think it is a good thing that my people are not murderers actually, something I can take pride in and my daughters can take pride in.
I just Googled it and it is a poem by Maya Angelou and called "I know why the caged bird sings" and is about the caged bird singing of Freedom and Hope. I think it has been awhile since I read her and will need to go find it again since I must have been remembering parts of it lately in my thoughts.
I also found a discussion group questions page that might be fun to discuss too.