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she looks like she is dancing?

Sometimes, just sometimes, something holds her down or seems to hold her down. But not her. She moves, she walks along, jogs, runs, plays and she is new again.. and all this time they think she is dancing. She creates. She writes. She moves on.

Form clnics in Rwanda to painful burials in a village in which post poll violence took lives, making women, children and youth wear a crown of thorns made by politicians.... and now they skip the long delayed mass burial... and all of them have valid reasons for not being there...

Women watch and wonder. They knit. They light little fires. They twist their lips and make sounds about motherland. They walk, they run, they skip... and the people think they are dancing. We have endured... post partum blues of a nation. And someone says to us... or to her... in unconquerable Kiswahili..." eh, ni nini mama naniiiii?" ("what is the thing mother of thingy?") and somewhere else... " iiii ni kii nyina wa twana?" ( hey, what is it mother of children?)

Why should she not be this uneasy? And she writes and moves, looks and prays and sometimes sees a black cloud as she passes past State House. She sees it on a bright and shiny afternoon.. she sees it. It hovers above the trees... flies up to the top and hangs about there... a black cloud of death. And she cleans the road... and picks up papers and she hums... she sings. She also remembers the high cost of milk... but most of all, the black cloud hovers that there and darkens and does not fall in rain....What will make it rain?

You see, they say she is dancing and singing like all women do, they say. She looks like she is dancing..and they do not see more.


aliĝngix's picture


"You see, they say she is dancing and singing like all women do, they say. She looks like she is dancing..and they do not see more."

Thank you for telling us what is really going on in there heads. I think it is sad, but also a like a hero, when a mother feels this much pressure, and she has to stay strong, so she does this and that to bide the time...

At least I think it is like this. Did I get your journal right? Thanks for explaining, and best wishes.

LauraB's picture

Beautiful story

I loved reading your writing, as she dances along. Everyone thinks she is dancing, but she's doing a lot more than dancing isn't she. Does she hide what she is doing by dancing and signing? Does she claim her right to live through dancing and singing? Is she grieving while she dances?

Wonderful writing!



Maria de Chirikof's picture


I have been wanting to comment on this for awhile but never sure exactly what to say. I think it is beautiful and very poetic and like they say both deep and poetic!

You see, they say she is dancing and singing like all women do, they say. She looks like she is dancing..and they do not see more.

That can mean so much in so many different ways.

I love your posts,



Claris's picture

The cloud under the state house

Hy you are deep.Now that our Muigai son of Jomo is reading our badget today,do you think it is indeed our turn to eat?will that dark cloud finally let down the much needed rain?Do you think that your dancing lady will bstill be crying about the milk the following day or will she altogether forget the milk and go for lemon tea?

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