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I was watching a Tyra Banks show one evening and they happened to be discussing what people feel about adult videos and such like stuff. There was a group of four women and four men to share their personal opinions.
The women were reading from different scripts-those who watch and those who don't. But the men were united- they all watch and enjoy the material. The women who watch the staff felt that it is an empowerment and freedom strategy whilst the others felt it is an abuse and degradation of women's dignity. Their arguments at some point degenerated into bitter exchange and judgment show.
I watched in surprise as the men started their contribution to the motion in a calm and collected manner as opposed to the women.
Personally, I don't watch adult stuff but I have no issue with those who happen to do so. My only worry is the purpose and implication of the material to a person's behavior, judgment or anything else. In Kenya, for example, pornography as it is termed, is legally prohibited but it is available anyway. Most women will never admit to using the material but for all men I have ever asked, they admit to either watching or not. Majority of them do or have ever watched and they say any normal man would.
I don't really know why women feel prejudiced as regards adult stuff though for me I just feel that it has no implication to my sexual life and it is the reason I don't consume the material.
It might really be a personal issue but the universality of opinions from both sexes could indicate a trend in response to the material that might need some inquiry.
Some experts in the Tyra show talked of denial and some talked of the right material for a target group. The issue to me is, is this material necessary or unnecessary to human sexuality? Is sexuality meant to be spontaneous or is there a cause for 'some kind of training' and why are women more divided than men in this regard?


Maria de Chirikof's picture


I don't know, I think what that show is an extremely good example of men thinking 'the sex act' as just the same sort of thing as going to the bathroom and can sure see why woman get upset by this notion. What I personally believe is that this act is a sacred part of life and not one to be cheapened. While it is true that you can enjoy a "quickie" it lacks the same depth and passion as a true sexual bonding.

I think this is why woman are against 'porno' as a whole since there is so much more to it then a function like going to the bathroom and being placed on the same level as a toilet makes me angry too. I do believe that consenting adults in a mature relationship should be free to explore at their will and it is none of our business what they do. The important part is that "consenting adults in a mature relationship" that some men ignore so can stay calm and seem "normal". A lot of men will say that they do separate sex from love and that is because they were taught poorly by other men in their society what it could be.

A good image for this is the tomato plant since it can be used in so many recipies and so many ways. With sex separated from love and that whole spiritual bond you only get it one way. True, you can eat it whole as you would an apple, you can slice it into thin slices or you can even cut it into 4 wedges. Yeah, but in a real and true sense of what it is meant to be you can make spaghetti sauce, slices for burgers, wedges for salads and the variety is endless. Denying half of the equation leaves you with so little when there is a whole world of yummy recipes to try but you have to be a "cook" instead of just grabbing a tomato from the nearest bush and eating it on the run.

I think it is not needed for a full and healthy sexual life. I seriously doubt any porno can be seen as 'training' though. I mean there are better ways to explore that kind of thing. In the same way I would not go to a cheap dive to meet a man I would not look to porno movies for inspiration.

It seems this sort of question is on a lot of peoples minds so I tried giving my own thoughts on it. I guess it is very important to be able to talk to each other about such things though I imagine it makes a lot of people feel weird. So thanks for posting this,


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